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i have been in a relationship for  many years.i have always been surrounded by dominant people and my partner was very much an alpha male until he was diagnosed with a degenerative disease a number of years ago. now i am lost, over the years he has grown more dependant on me and it doesn't come naturally for me to lead. i have gained weight,rarely get dressed and barely ever go out. i have been told by friends im suffering from depression but after much soul searching i know it is because i have no structure in my life. i need routine and to be told what to do and when. i would never leave my partner or cheat on him but want to know if its possible to find a master or mistress on line to guide me and if so, where and would this be considered cheating

Answer
lola:

Of course on-line is very possible; but usually it with amateurs; so find one whom will do so is easy, finding on capable is not.  As to what is considered cheating, the only way you will know is if you have an open and honest conversation with your partner. They maybe altruistic and remove many barriers or become so selfish and eliminate everything. What someone else thinks is unimportant it is what the two of you decide. Is there a compromise; well in this case of course a compromise is going to occur. But you have already compromised; so how much farther are you willing to go. You say now you wont leave, but you are unhappy with yourself... and likely it is depression but one brought on by the very factors you state.  Addressing these factors will improve your outlook.  So consider this and decide.

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Aramock Nanuck

Expertise

I will answer any questions concern the lifestyle and may annoy a few because I do dive into the history and psychology of this lifestyle in many of my answers. I have a partner a Femdom Mistress who shares my experiences and assets, as I hers. Also belonging to a couple groups in Europa and Asia. Traveling frequently between the continents. We tend to share information and discuss many of the topics frequently. I will focus on the core items around, training and relationship management for those that are interested.

Experience

I have been involved in the lifestyle since being introduced to it by my father at the age of 13. He was a master in the 50's to 80's but predated the popularity of Gor, and was Pharaonic in nature. I owned my own slaves since my early 20's. I have usually been part of a poly household. For about 6 years three of us ran a BDSM club in Prague until it was "acquired" by the Russian "businessmen". I do not hold any moral taboos about this lifestyle and at one time or another have experience or seen everything imaginable. It is in this absence of mrals that principles, protocols and personal honour must determine the worth of an individual. It is their clear and unwavering adherence to these ethics that make for stauncher things than those which some observance by mere lip service to common morals. When men/women of honour lead, then they do so without malice, without negativity and without thought of personal gain. It only then that they truly attain Dominon over others. Therefore in mastery comes a devotion to duty, and the existence, needs and desires of others that exceeds the submission mere slaves give to the Dominant. A Dominant one must lead, govern, educate and enrich the lives of subjects beign ruled... for otherwise they are but a sycophant and a tyrant. Hedonism and narcissism plays no part in this, it is an apparition that forms from acts done at much higher levels of meaning that mere morally bound persons can not see.

Organizations
I belong to a number of local clubs, and a loose association (not formal) of about 25 masters and mistresses here in Western Europe and Asia who share experiences, training and some exchange trade assets.

Publications
I have not published on BDSM under my name, but contribute frequently to forums. I am consolidating my writings slowly on DarkCastleSin.org for any that are interested in reading.

Education/Credentials
Not relevant although I do have a DCS and DT but I am not Christian so have no moral dilemmas with this lifestyle.

Awards and Honors
Not applicable here, come on in our lifestyle these do not exist but should. When was the last time we had public awards for Worlds Darkest Sadist, World's Most Gifted Shibaru Artist, Worlds Most Diligent Mentor, World's Most Gifted Enthusiast,

Past/Present Clients
Not relevant; private consults remain so.

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