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BDSM/Keeping The Engine Idling

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Question
Recently I was speaking to a submissive who said that the LD D/s she was in left her feeling like her pussy was always idling and ready to go. What methods do you use to help create this mindset?

Answer
Chris -

From what you said, the answer would appear to be limiting sexual release. But the real answer is it depends. Submissives aren't cookie cutter toys that come with manufacturer operating Instructions. Just like in orgasming on command, success is dependent on the sexual energy of the person, their triggers, the relationship between the individuals, the method of conditioning, and often an unknown X factor. I can command my slave to orgasm and, in the right setting, she will. That doesn't mean I can walk up to some random woman on the street and have the same result.

So my suggestion: find a partner and develop a good dynamic. Once you do that, then you can experiment. But I would discourage you from setting either of you up for failure by presuming it is guaranteed to work.  

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Ben Martin

Expertise

Questions related to power-based relationships in which decision-making authority is intentionally and consensually transferred -- and the resulting imbalance celebrated. I am able to assist those trying to understand where they fit in, and those seeking to structure and thrive in a power based relationships. Specific topics I am able to discuss include: setting and achieving personal and relationship goals, responsible Mastery, the use of protocols and rituals, communication techniques, and conflict resolution. In addition, I am knowledgable and experienced in polyamory, long-distance relationships, bisexuality and a variety of kinky activities ranging from mind games to sadistic play.

Experience

I have chosen to have a power-based structure in my relationships over the past 18 years. This has included a 16-year M/s relationship, several shorter term D/s relationships and various play partners. I am an active participant in various online forums and seek to provide support and advice to those interested in the Lifestyle.

Organizations
Black Rose

Publications
My writings, insights and discussion contributions are available on Alt.com and FetLife.com. On both websites, my user name is BenMartin

Education/Credentials
I do not hold any credentials specific to BDSM, relying instead on knowledge gained from life experiences, reading and conversing with others in the Lifestyle.

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