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Question
I have been trying for several years to get my wife involved and follow through on being a dom. I even paid ms. Ivey green for a 3 month training session for my wife and I. She starts out good and then loses interest. She says she wants the lifestyle but she doesn't seem to be able to keep focused on the things that need to be done. Mistress Ivey gave her good advice but she can't seem to get it through her head on what to do. She said that she needs a step by step, day by day on how to achieve the results in training me to be what I want her to be. I told her that some guys do the stealth submission and she thought that that would be a good idea but mistress Ivey told me that I shouldn't do that as that is topping from the bottom.. I am almost to the point that I don't really care, I just want to get this done. We have been married for 40 years and this is my dream to get to at retirement and she agrees but she just cant stay focused. Any suggestions?????   Thanks, Steve

Answer
Hi Steve,

A lot of what you wrote had your answer nestled within it.

-Your wife keeps losing interest
-Your wife doesn't stay focused on becoming a Mistress
-Your wife hasn't picked up any training

I hate to break it to but despite what YOU want, it doesn't sound like SHE wants to be a Mistress. Don't force it. If this is what your reward of 40 years of marriage was suppose to be from your end then I think there was a miscommunication somewhere along the lines.

The thing I relish about being dominate is that I choose when, how, why, and IF I want to exert that dominance. The fact that you're so adamant while your wife seems to be just trying to make you happy is painful to read about. I would suggest asking her if you may see a domme in some of your free time instead of trying to force her into a role she clearly doesn't seem to fit into. And if you were my submissive---there would a world for spankings not for topping from the bottom but for being a needy, selfish, brat as I found my footing.

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Natali Noir

Expertise

I can answer questions related to Mistresses/Dommes and their relationships with subs and slaves. I can answer questions about different fetishes, give advice, explain BDSM and dungeon etiquette or just explain overall BDSM practices and protocols as I've learned. I can also help with creative ideas related to kinky scenes, role-plays, punishments, or rewards.

Experience

I've been into BDSM for about 10 years and I've a Mistress for 8 years and have had my fair share of subs and slaves. I have experience with what it's like to be on both sides of the paddle.

Organizations
I'm part of the local TNG and Black Rose, and several FemDom groups. I also frequent the BDSM clubs and parties in the surrounding areas.

Publications
www.mundanetoms.blogspot.com

Education/Credentials
I have no educational credentials in this area, only years of firsthand experience and knowledge gained through reading, workshops, and listening to ideas from other individuals I deem more experienced in certain BDSM areas.

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I write my own blog.

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