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hello, i was reading your info and was pretty confident that it was the closest subject that i feel would help me. i can never actually ask this in person to anyone because i am too embarrassed. but ever since i was a little girl, i can remember a weird liking for stomach trampling. since i was about 10, i remember watching a cartoon where a character gets poked in the stomach and suddenly just feeling "aroused." as i got older, this feeling got more intense, i get off on watching videos that have anything to do with stomach trampling/punching. if i ever watch these videos, its obviously in my own private time, but i would be so embarrassed if anyone ever knew this about me. i don't know why i even feel embarrassed  about this. my question is, now, is this some kind of weird fetish i have? why do i like it, its so weird! i don't know personally anyone who could ever get off on that. i kind of think its abnormal. i really hope you don't respond with "but this is out of my expertise" because i even tried looking for an expert in the fetish subject but none of them really pertained to my situation, you were the closest i could find that i felt would relate to the topic. please help me with this, I'm hoping maybe you have a better understanding of this type of "sexuality". anything helps. i appreciate your time in helping me and reading this. look forward to hearing from you! have a good one.

Answer
michelle -

You're not alone.  There are people in the BDSM community that are in to rough body play (punching, kicking, etc) as well as trampling (frequently men wanting their genitalia trampled).  Whether it is the intersection of pleasure and pain, a feeling of helplessness, or something inexplicable, the bottom line is you - and others - find it erotic.  There is no reason to feel ashamed by what brings you please.

However, it is a fetish that requires caution.  You want to be sure that anyone you plays understands the risks and how to minimize them (for instance, no blows to the kidneys).  I would also strongly encourage you to limit play to people you know and trust, that now how to negotiate a scene (what can and cannot happen), and respect safe words.  

I would strongly encourage you to pursue play in a public space -- not someone's private residence - so that there are dungeon monitors present to watch out for you.  I don't know where you live in California, but there are play spaces in San Diego, Los Angeles, Bay Area, and Sacramento (and probably more).  Find one.  Attend.  Meet people.  Take time to learn more about safe play, and to get know people you might want to play with.  Don't ever compromise your safety or ignore your gut impulses.

Enjoy,

Master Ben

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Ben Martin

Expertise

Questions related to power-based relationships in which decision-making authority is intentionally and consensually transferred -- and the resulting imbalance celebrated. I am able to assist those trying to understand where they fit in, and those seeking to structure and thrive in a power based relationships. Specific topics I am able to discuss include: setting and achieving personal and relationship goals, responsible Mastery, the use of protocols and rituals, communication techniques, and conflict resolution. In addition, I am knowledgable and experienced in polyamory, long-distance relationships, bisexuality and a variety of kinky activities ranging from mind games to sadistic play.

Experience

I have chosen to have a power-based structure in my relationships over the past 18 years. This has included a 16-year M/s relationship, several shorter term D/s relationships and various play partners. I am an active participant in various online forums and seek to provide support and advice to those interested in the Lifestyle.

Organizations
Black Rose

Publications
My writings, insights and discussion contributions are available on Alt.com and FetLife.com. On both websites, my user name is BenMartin

Education/Credentials
I do not hold any credentials specific to BDSM, relying instead on knowledge gained from life experiences, reading and conversing with others in the Lifestyle.

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