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BDSM/Permanent Orgasm Denial

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I am a thirty year old married woman. I am a dom wife to my husband. Over the past few years I have successfully trained my husband to be my submissive. We have incorporated Domination/submission into almost all aspects of our lives. He wears a chastity belt full time and is released only for cleaning and for sex. I have gradually reduced his orgasms so that he now gets it once a month or less. Both of us like this denial very much and he is restrained when released out of the belt to prevent him from touching his penis.

In order to make the experience of denial even more intense for him, my husband has always wanted me to explore my sexuality with other men. I have been back into the dating business and met and fooled around with a few men. Most of it came to nothing, just a few occasional sexual encounters which my husband seemed to enjoy even more than me.

But recently about 3 months ago I met an interesting man with whom I would like to stick around for a while. I have talked to my husband about this and he is okay with it. But what he doesn't know is that I want to stop having penetrative sex with him altogether atleast for the time that I am with my lover. I always like to push my husband's boundaries and make him even more submissive to me and I think that this would be the next thing that we should try to do. Not only do I want to prevent penetrative sex but also orgasms. I want to restrict his releases to prostate milkings and ruined orgasms only. I am excited by the prospect of him surrendering his orgasms to me.

I don't plan on beginning any sort of deep relationship with my lover. I want to restrict our encounters to sex only, perhaps even involve my hubby somehow. My husband will always remain my primary partner. But how do you think I should go about doing this? Is it possible for men to gradually forgo their orgasms completely? And is there any risk to permanent orgasm denial?

Answer
Anagha.

It sounds as though you're already on the right track for permanent orgasm denial. Though, I would caution you to decide a clear goal for the future: would you appreciate prostate milkings and ruined orgasms, or do you really enjoy the idea that he would have zero orgasms for the rest of the time you are alive and married? It is obviously fine to explore both options, but making the decision seems to be a large priority. That said, it is absolutely fine for men to forgo their orgasms. There is no documented risk for permanent orgasm denial, however the jury is out on whether or not the prostate needs to be "emptied" for safest maintenance. That said, there may be some unintended side effects: nocturnal emissions, painful erections (if achieved), and chafing/rubbing/dry skin. If your husband can handle that, it seems he will do just fine in permanent chastity. I would not recommend a device that has an internal component; urethral or anal. Those can become problematic when used for long periods of time. Have fun!

Madame Rax.  

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Madame Rax

Expertise

I am open and willing to answer any questions involving BDSM that do not specifically concern illegal acts involving children or non-consensual assault against an unwilling party.

Experience

I have had BDSM experience in a professional capacity since 2005. As far as personal, non-professional experience, I have always taken the lead in relationships, friendships, and other situational interactions. I prefer to "wear the pants" so to speak. However, this is not to say I wear the physical pants: I am mostly seen wearing skirts.

Organizations
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom

Publications
Excitedly, this will be my first foray into professional writing about BDSM, however my vanilla writings have appeared in several publications online. I am the former main web editor of a very popular DIY website, writing articles about electronics, repurposing, and sustainability.

Education/Credentials
I have participated in many educational workshops held by Pro-Dommes. I have also hosted a few workshops involving BDSM issues. I have done extensive research on D/s power dynamics and BDSM. As far as education, however, professional sessions and interactions with clients have provided most of my experience.

Past/Present Clients
I have a multitude of both. I specialize in clients with physical handicaps, rare kinks, edge play, LGBT lifestyles, and other underrepresented or marginalized groups.

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