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BDSM/my wife is starting to be more dom but needs help

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Question
My wife and i have been married for three years now and i have a lot im into like strapons humiliation punishment and last i love wearing diapers im trying to get her to dom me way mord in the diapers she likes when i ware them but i dont now how to go about asking her  to humiliate  me when iwwear them like i.want to have her change me out side of the house or checking if im wet were ever we are and stuff like that and for the punishments stuff all she does is spank  which i love but what else could be done. Towards this i want and need mors.punishments and a lot.of humiliation please help were stuck in a cross.road

Answer
Your wife needs to be on board with supporting your wants and needs but this can be difficult. First, she has to be aware and the only way that can be achieved is through open and honest communication. No Dom, no Master, no person is a mind reader.

Second she needs to be able to allow herself to interact with your fantasies.

But these can be dificult to talk about. I would recommend discussing with her about the use of a journal. Agree that the journal is a "safe space" in which both of you can express yourself however you want to express yourself, and that each will respect what is written,  without repercussions.

Relationships flourish when nourished with trust. Allow the journal to be a means of talking about something deeply person, safely.

You may find your wife is perhaps uncomfortable with all this. Talk about it. Or she may be very comfortable but doesn't know the depth of your fantasies.


If trust is nourishment, good communication is the life blood of a solid relationship.

Not at all easy, but vital.

However you have to allow her to be honest as well.  Your fantasies may not overlap with hers. Perhaps her's is to be abducted by a group of leather women and used as their sex toy. Your fantasies, in this case, would be difficult (but not imposdible) to find common ground. But then again her fantasy might be to utterly dominate you, which would fit beautifully. You will never know until you both find a way of communicating.

You need to work together, as adult partners, to find a way of communicating, of sharing your secrets. It is a journey that is very scary, but very rewarding.

Be Well,
Brian  

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BrianR

Expertise

I will answer questions related to long term Master/slave relationships.

Experience

We have been married since 2007, and I collared her on November 1, 2008. My slave and I are married, monogamous, and committed to each other. My relationship with my slave is based on mutual love, respect, and frankly fun. Race Bannon has said "if you are not having fun then you are doing it wrong." We are having lots of fun so we must be doing something right! My slave is an intelligent (BS in Mathematics actually), and strong women who chooses to put her power into my service and, perhaps seemingly paradoxically as she is my submissive, my equal. She is my slave, my wife, my best friend, and my only lover. I respect her for her ability to submit and truly believe that it takes more strength to submit then to dominate. She follows, but not blindly.

Organizations
Masters and Slaves Together - Marysville (Washington) (founding director) MAsT International - Assistant Northwest Regional Representative 2015, Regional Representtive 2016 BDSM Writers Workshop (April 2016) http://bdsmwriterscon.com/

Publications
My essays are on Fetlife under BrianR (https://fetlife.com/users/9389/posts)

Education/Credentials
Engineer (however this probably should be under the category "barriers your slave has overcome")

Awards and Honors
With my lovely slave we were Northwest Master and slave 2013

Past/Present Clients
With my slave I have presented at national and international events since 2013. While we enjoy presenting at national events, we find more satisfaction in talking with small groups from Boise ID to Singapore and Hong Kong. Our list of classes is available at

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