BDSM/bdsm

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Amador wrote at 2015-03-17 11:05:23
RE: finding a good/compatible DOM or Domme. Public play is generally safer than private play. Out yourself to the dungeon monitor as a noobie and they'll look out for you. Give them your hard-limits list. Do this in plain view of your DOM or with him in tow. Contract discussions should be in the presence of knowledgeable people who would be credible in court, and are third parties not affiliated with you or your DOM, or are at least knowledgeable and unbiased.



Long-standing local groups are probably the safest place to find a top because we all know what the other dominants in the group like, focus on, and how hard they play. A successful setup is a justifiable source of pride.



Munches can be great resources in this regard, as can groups for tops. Attend and learn, and you might meet someone you like as a bonus. Top groups are usually looking for models to practice on, and that is very safe play if there are a half-dozen or more regularly in attendance.



RE: Physical appearance. Like vanilla dating, beauty helps, will be appreciated, is a good draw, but won't keep anyone interested or in a committed relationship. Being paraded around a dungeon like a piece of Kobe Beef is a great feeling, so make an effort, but don't let it kill your game. Personality and compatibility are key to successful relationships bdsm or otherwise. 20 yrs from now you'll look back and realize what a hottie you are - do something nice with it while you still have it!


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BrianR

Expertise

I will answer questions related to long term Master/slave relationships.

Experience

We have been married since 2007, and I collared her on November 1, 2008. My slave and I are married, monogamous, and committed to each other. My relationship with my slave is based on mutual love, respect, and frankly fun. Race Bannon has said "if you are not having fun then you are doing it wrong." We are having lots of fun so we must be doing something right! My slave is an intelligent (BS in Mathematics actually), and strong women who chooses to put her power into my service and, perhaps seemingly paradoxically as she is my submissive, my equal. She is my slave, my wife, my best friend, and my only lover. I respect her for her ability to submit and truly believe that it takes more strength to submit then to dominate. She follows, but not blindly.

Organizations
Masters and Slaves Together - Marysville (Washington) (founding director) MAsT International - Assistant Northwest Regional Representative 2015, Regional Representtive 2016 BDSM Writers Workshop (April 2016) http://bdsmwriterscon.com/

Publications
My essays are on Fetlife under BrianR (https://fetlife.com/users/9389/posts)

Education/Credentials
Engineer (however this probably should be under the category "barriers your slave has overcome")

Awards and Honors
With my lovely slave we were Northwest Master and slave 2013

Past/Present Clients
With my slave I have presented at national and international events since 2013. While we enjoy presenting at national events, we find more satisfaction in talking with small groups from Boise ID to Singapore and Hong Kong. Our list of classes is available at

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