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I am a thirty year old married woman. I am a dom wife to my husband. Over the past few years I have successfully trained my husband to be my submissive. We have incorporated Domination/submission into almost all aspects of our lives. He wears a chastity belt full time and is released only for cleaning and for sex. I have gradually reduced his orgasms so that he now gets it once a month or less. Both of us like this denial very much and he is restrained when released out of the belt to prevent him from touching his penis.

In order to make the experience of denial even more intense for him, my husband has always wanted me to explore my sexuality with other men. I have been back into the dating business and met and fooled around with a few men. Most of it came to nothing, just a few occasional sexual encounters which my husband seemed to enjoy even more than me.

But recently about 3 months ago I met an interesting man with whom I would like to stick around for a while. I have talked to my husband about this and he is okay with it. But what he doesn't know is that I want to stop having penetrative sex with him altogether atleast for the time that I am with my lover. I always like to push my husband's boundaries and make him even more submissive to me and I think that this would be the next thing that we should try to do. Not only do I want to prevent penetrative sex but also orgasms. I want to restrict his releases to prostate milkings and ruined orgasms only. I am excited by the prospect of him surrendering his orgasms to me.

I don't plan on beginning any sort of deep relationship with my lover. I want to restrict our encounters to sex only, perhaps even involve my hubby somehow. My husband will always remain my primary partner. But how do you think I should go about doing this? Is it possible for men to gradually forgo their orgasms completely? And is there any health risk to permanent orgasm denial?

Answer
Anagha:

There is no health risks involved with this at all. That is a myth men perpetrate to encourage sex. As to forgoing orgasm, men can surrender that for a very long time with the proper training. In the past castration provided this, recently chemical castration did this, now mental castration can dissolve the want.  But it requires a very strong will to replace the need and possibly hypnotism.

As to going about this, constant and severe control. Ensure he is bound and forced to view all of your sexual activities in a many any cock-hold you do. Aggressively deny any personal gratification he may seek, and render him slowly but surely as an object, lower than the base animals removing his humanity in the process. This will ensure his lack of worth as "human" and only then a "sexual" being.

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Aramock Nanuck

Expertise

I will answer any questions concern the lifestyle and may annoy a few because I do dive into the history and psychology of this lifestyle in many of my answers. I have a partner a Femdom Mistress who shares my experiences and assets, as I hers. Also belonging to a couple groups in Europa and Asia. Traveling frequently between the continents. We tend to share information and discuss many of the topics frequently. I will focus on the core items around, training and relationship management for those that are interested.

Experience

I have been involved in the lifestyle since being introduced to it by my father at the age of 13. He was a master in the 50's to 80's but predated the popularity of Gor, and was Pharaonic in nature. I owned my own slaves since my early 20's. I have usually been part of a poly household. For about 6 years three of us ran a BDSM club in Prague until it was "acquired" by the Russian "businessmen". I do not hold any moral taboos about this lifestyle and at one time or another have experience or seen everything imaginable. It is in this absence of mrals that principles, protocols and personal honour must determine the worth of an individual. It is their clear and unwavering adherence to these ethics that make for stauncher things than those which some observance by mere lip service to common morals. When men/women of honour lead, then they do so without malice, without negativity and without thought of personal gain. It only then that they truly attain Dominon over others. Therefore in mastery comes a devotion to duty, and the existence, needs and desires of others that exceeds the submission mere slaves give to the Dominant. A Dominant one must lead, govern, educate and enrich the lives of subjects beign ruled... for otherwise they are but a sycophant and a tyrant. Hedonism and narcissism plays no part in this, it is an apparition that forms from acts done at much higher levels of meaning that mere morally bound persons can not see.

Organizations
I belong to a number of local clubs, and a loose association (not formal) of about 25 masters and mistresses here in Western Europe and Asia who share experiences, training and some exchange trade assets.

Publications
I have not published on BDSM under my name, but contribute frequently to forums. I am consolidating my writings slowly on DarkCastleSin.org for any that are interested in reading.

Education/Credentials
Not relevant although I do have a DCS and DT but I am not Christian so have no moral dilemmas with this lifestyle.

Awards and Honors
Not applicable here, come on in our lifestyle these do not exist but should. When was the last time we had public awards for Worlds Darkest Sadist, World's Most Gifted Shibaru Artist, Worlds Most Diligent Mentor, World's Most Gifted Enthusiast,

Past/Present Clients
Not relevant; private consults remain so.

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