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The wife and I want to try something new and kinky. I am a bit male and she is a straight. We want to spice things up a lot. I love being the slave, being spanked tied up, really anything kinky. Her on the other hand want to know her options. we are very interested in finding pics and or videos to help us.I'm not sure if its the bdsm or if its taboo?? Plz help. Thanks Brian Williams

Answer
Brian -

There is a well of resources - some good, some not so good

A good place to start is for the two of you to research what you like, may be open to exploring, and don't like. If you google "BDSM checklist" you'll find a good place to start. This doesn't have to be a one-time review that never changes. As you explore, new things will be added to your list, and others will fall off. They key is for the two of you to talk openly and honestly without judgement.

One useful online resource is FetLife.com. It's sort of a kinky Facebook- with pictures, groups, and event listings. Join groups like "novice and newbies" and those related to specific interests (like spanking). Just realize that the answers will vary in quality. And use the site to find events near you where you can meet other kinky people, attend classes, etc

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Ben Martin

Expertise

Questions related to power-based relationships in which decision-making authority is intentionally and consensually transferred -- and the resulting imbalance celebrated. I am able to assist those trying to understand where they fit in, and those seeking to structure and thrive in a power based relationships. Specific topics I am able to discuss include: setting and achieving personal and relationship goals, responsible Mastery, the use of protocols and rituals, communication techniques, and conflict resolution. In addition, I am knowledgable and experienced in polyamory, long-distance relationships, bisexuality and a variety of kinky activities ranging from mind games to sadistic play.

Experience

I have chosen to have a power-based structure in my relationships over the past 18 years. This has included a 16-year M/s relationship, several shorter term D/s relationships and various play partners. I am an active participant in various online forums and seek to provide support and advice to those interested in the Lifestyle.

Organizations
Black Rose

Publications
My writings, insights and discussion contributions are available on Alt.com and FetLife.com. On both websites, my user name is BenMartin

Education/Credentials
I do not hold any credentials specific to BDSM, relying instead on knowledge gained from life experiences, reading and conversing with others in the Lifestyle.

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