You are here:

BDSM/Bratty sub

Advertisement


Question
QUESTION: I am a 25 year old dominant wife to my husband. I consider myself to be a strict but loving dom. Both of us are clear that I have the authority to discipline him the way I see fit. The problem I am having with my hubby is with his punishments. Although I discipline him regularly sometimes he just acts like a brat. I don't know if he does this because he thinks I will spank him for it(which he loves) or because he genuinely requires correction. I rarely employ corporal punishment, but when I do it, it is quite severe, nothing that he would enjoy. I mostly stick to punishments like writing lines, grounding, cornertime etc. I have even used humiliation but there are times when nothing gets across to him and he disobeys me often. I wonder what else I can do to bring him in line. Please advice.

ANSWER: Alice,

You need to do things that he does not enjoy which he will learn from.. A few suggestions are thiese here..

Ice Cold enema's which than you need to make sure he retains while you teach him to behave.. A large plug after the enema.

You could also use ginger figging. You can look it up, although it will give you a idea...

http://www.sfweekly.com/exhibitionist/2012/12/13/bdsm-101-figging-or-youll-never

http://www.figging.com/

You can also use something alike TIger Balm, or ben gay a heating lotion in which you cover his balls, penis, and asshole.. You can also use something like a qtip which you can cover with the lotion and slip it down his cock. Or place it on a plug and make him wear it.

Again you can put him in diapers, and make him use them each time he disobeys.

These *punishments* need to be something he will remember but not want repeated.. You can put him a Chasity belt which he will have to earn the right to release. So until he changes you just keep him locked up.

And if none of this works, you might want to consider putting him out for anyone to use *Male wise* have him tired down and nude, and bring in other men who will fuck you while he watches reminding him bad boys are not allowed to have you. And if you want to teach him a true lesson have him fucked as well after you are pleased, and he will clean up both you and the male as his final punishment.

If nothing works and you have tried these things or anything else you can come up with you might want to consider this is not what he wants and if this is what you have wanted you might just have to consider that he is not the submissive for you and go back to a vanilla marriage but take on your own submissive.

Lady Aryana

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Well, you gave me some interesting suggestions. Some of them like having another man fuck me while my husband watches is highly arousing but a bit extreme atleast for now. I don't like putting him in diapers either since I have to change them which I hate. Ice water enemas, applying a tiger balm on his privates and ginger figging are all good punishments, and I will try them out for sure. But I find the option of making him wear a chastity device to be the most interesting one. Is it possible for a man to wear it long term without any damage to his genitals? Also when we have sex unless he has earned it he is not allowed to release inside me. So if he is denied for a long time before he has sex with me is there a danger of him losing control and ejaculating inside me without my permission and is there any way to stop that? The thought of making him wear a chastity device continuously and restraining his arms behind his back whenever he is released so that he can never touch his own penis is highly arousing to me. Have you ever done that with any of your subs?

Answer
Alice,

First let me say you would not have to change his diaper, since he is being taught a lesson it would be his job to clean up any mess he makes. So again just a thought.

As for a chastity device, no it will not harm him in any way even for long periods, it is just important you find one that he will be be able to get out of.. As for making sure you are pleased, he doesnt even need to come out of it. He has a tongue and he can use it. I would also suggest getting something along this line to when you want more he can still do the work, and be reminded he is not allowed inside of you until he behaves.

http://www.amazon.com/California-Exotics-Accommodator-Oral-Stimulator/dp/B002JIN

Again that is just a suggestion if you find something else you like you are able to get that.. You can also get one that goes around the thighs, or if nothing else get a strap on he can wear while in his belt to please you.

I have done all but the diapers to a boy at one time or another, although not as punishments just cause I am a sadist ..

Just go with what you feel is working for you. And sooner or later he will be begging you to let him show you how good he can be!

Good Luck

Lady Aryana  

BDSM

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Lady Aryana

Expertise

Fem Dom relationships, Male Dom/fem slave, Master/slave relationships M/f, F/f, Long Distance relationships, Leather community, Victorian Lifestyle, BDSM play, Community support, Full time slavery and submission *living together, and how to adjust, protocols, and so forth. Web pages and site for help with finding others in your area. HOH or DD relationships. D/s has always been a part of me I am still active in looking for a relationship either D/s or Mistress/slave, or simply learning more in order to help others. I am always reading, either on the net or books.

Experience

I have been in long distance relationship that were D/s relationships. I have owned both male and female slaves/submissive, I have been both a real time slave, submissive, and submissive wife. I am not in a committed relationship at the moment. I just moved to Indina with in the last year. I can be found on Fetlife.com as LadyAryana. I am not collared, and I still am always on the look for others to play with around me. Slowing I am returning to being active in the community here in Indiana. In the past I have been active in the BDSM community and a DM for play parties. I have been active for the last 20+ yrs in BDSM in one way or another

Organizations
I was active in the GA community when I lived there. I am semi active in Indiana since moving here, I attend munches and demo's / play parties GRALE, Belong to PEP, and other BDSM clubs over the yrs.

Publications
Egroups, Blogs, Journals, And some story writings.

Education/Credentials
Have taken work shops for different BDSM events. Attended SELF given demo's, Been a DM for play parties and private and public clubs. Attending gathering of both D/s, Spanking lifestyles. I have been active in HOH and DD relationships. I was active in the leather community while living in GA. I was trained Victorian and and Gorean, I understand that training varies in each relationship so you adjust to what it is you do for the relationship you are in. I have trained both Master's and Mistress' along with slaves in the yrs I have been in BDSM.

Past/Present Clients
Master, slave, submissive, Tops, and Bottoms. Along with those who simply wanted to learn how to be kinky in the bedroom

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.