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QUESTION: I would like to know  a good place or how to find my potential daddy.where should I start looking I'm really confused and scared that the daddies out there won't like me cause my flaws.thank you
         Trinity

ANSWER: Hi, trinity -

I can't do much with your question until you share a bit about what you perceive as your flaws.

I'd also need to know the name of the largest city near you.  I don't need to know if you live in that city. That way, I can assess the resources I'd know there.  Also, your age, and years of BDSM experience.  Some background might help, too. Member of a local BDSM club? The more you tell me, the better can be my reply.

Will probably have lots of ideas after that.

You may wish to re-send your question as "private" or correspond directly with me at PowerExchangeEditor@yahoo.com

Bob

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Ok I live in jyvaskya Finland and it's one of the biggest cities I am 21 so I am young and very new I have never been in a bdsm relationship but I do know it would have to be a DD/LG relationship

Answer
First off, you need some knowledge.  I'd urge you to buy both our new books: they're specifically written for people new to BDSM.  Let me explain:

BDSM Mastery—Basics: your guide to play, parties, and scene protocols (Book One in our BDSM Mastery series.)  

This is not a book that explains what BDSM is, this is a book that explains what BDSM is all about.

This is a book for people who are considering stepping into real time BDSM, and it is also a book for people who have been involved in the community for a while and know enough to appreciate how all the little bits of information they’ve picked up all nest together.

This book treats the world of BDSM as a culture unto itself and goes a long way to explaining the expectations, rules, and words that are common to this culture.

This book does not tell you how to use any implements (floggers, canes, etc), but it does explain why in the world you’d want to use such implements.

+++

BDSM Mastery—Relationships: a guide for creating mindful relationships for Dominants and submissives (Book Two in the BDSM Mastery Series)

This is a book about relationships. Adventuresome relationships. Relationships that are not exactly like vanilla relationships. BDSM relationships differ in two specific ways from your typical vanilla relationship: first, they usually involve a power-imbalanced structure (one person is clearly in charge and the other person is clearly following); second, the kind of sex that adventuresome folks practice is, well, not vanilla.

We wrote this book to help you better to understand the power dynamics that get involved with what are called power-imbalanced relationships (usually referred to as Dominant/submissive or D/s relationships).

+++

You can get these books directly from Amazon either in paperback or on Kindle. You can also order them through our website: www.KinkMastery.com

I am a sociologist by training, and these books look at the culture of BDSM. They are specifically designed to keep newcomers (particularly women) safe as they are starting out in this new culture.

I am at a loss as to how to advise you about finding a Daddy. I know nothing of the European or Northern European BDSM culture.

However --- I urge you to join the free website www.FetLife.com  When I typed "Finland" into the search box, it came up with 6,385 members living in Finland -- so chances are, you'll be able to find someone near you who can help you find a local group to join. Once you join Fetlife, please send me a friend request: I'm Dr_Bob

On Fetlife, there are lots of special groups.  Groups for DD/LG and submissives and about anything you can imagine.

Best wishes,

Bob  

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Robert Rubel (Dr. Bob)

Expertise

Anything related to BDSM or Master/slave relationships or activities.

Experience

See: www.KinkMastery.com I live 24/7 Master/slave lifestyle and have since 2002 both as Master and slave. My Owner and I present and do "weekend intensives" internationally and at BDSM conferences practically every month.

Organizations
Masters And slaves Together (MAsT) National Leather Association - International (NLA-I) National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF)

Publications
+++ BDSM Mastery—Basics: your guide to play, parties, and scene protocols. +++ BDSM Mastery—Relationships: a guide for creating mindful relationships for Dominants and submissives +++ Master/slave Mastery: Updated handbook of concepts, approaches, and practices +++ Master/slave Mastery--Advanced: Refining the fire; ideas that matter +++ Master/slave Mastery--Protocols: Focusing the intent of your relationship +++ Is THAT What They Meant? A book of practical communication insights

Education/Credentials
PhD, Urban Education Policy Studies with a minor in criminology, U of Wisconsin, Madison. EdM, Boston University with specialty in urban education Presented 80+ BDSM weekend conferences worldwide since 2007.

Awards and Honors
Pantheon of Leather Community Choice - Man, 2008

Past/Present Clients
Not applicable.

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