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Question
hello.
My question is Im a daddy dome and my wife is my Babygirl  but I feel the issue is how do we balance out our relationship  since we have children.. they are not my children but hers and her son likes to argue alot and disrespect her he has a issue with woman in general... and he likes to argue with me I try not to allow it but His mother will get mad and then when i try to stop her from going over bored she will not listen to me at all in any way .. I honestly dont see this working but Im trying

Answer
Micheal

How I hate these situations. Your are in series of separate dynamics on going because of your mixed arrangements. The fundamental dynamic is not your relationship with you wife as a baby girl but that of a teenage boy who wishes to assert his independence and position in the world.

He challenges you because he has some latent animosity towards you for invading their family. He may even blame you for things that are not your fault because it is easier to project than to accept. This with the raging hormones will make him naturally confrontational. I have had 4 boys I have lived this each time they entered their teenage years. Winning his respect is more about finding a common bond and goal than merely demanding it. Working towards that will at least alleviate his angst towards you and make that dynamic work better.

His challenges to his mother are probably more seated in his observations of the world. I doubt he is misogynistic but very likely has seen women as supposed to be demure and submissive. He probably has even observed that between your wife and you (except during her "loosing it"). This reinforces his view, and he couples this with his own desire for control and lashes out at his mother. Which causes a cycle that degenerates as you say. I doubt this will change for a couple years because he simply lacks the emotional control and social forethought to understand the effects his actions are causing. I hate to say it, but you will be the "peacekeeeper" for a few more years.  But what you can do is treat him as an adult and come to an agreement with him about how to handle things, and how he can bring his disputes to you to work out with his mother. Keeping in mind and telling him you wont always side with him, but you will be fair.

This in fact may reduce the tension and there by reduce the number of times you have to intervene with your wife when she gets flared up. I know it is going to take more attentiveness and energy to always keep a watchful eye, but at least it is far less stressful than unwinding it as they become combatants.

This will also work in your favor with your other dynamic as daddy role. Now by taking a more active step to this you are asserting your image as a daddy figure, and peace keeper as opposed to maker.  This is far more in line and will ease the stress on your relationship. That relationship will still take a back stage to the family dynamic until the children are of an age where you can discuss openly and honestly the dynamic between the two adults. In actual fact it may well be your wife's reluctance more so than the children's readiness that will be the issue. Children today are exposed to massive amounts of details from middle school on and while they still act it out, they generally are not shocked by many things. You wife however will have to overcome her perceived loss of respect in the eyes of children to make it an open discussion.  But until this happens it is unlikely this will ever move out of the bedroom.

I hope this helps, if you have more questions feel free to ask.

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Aramock Nanuck

Expertise

I will answer any questions concern the lifestyle and may annoy a few because I do dive into the history and psychology of this lifestyle in many of my answers. I have a partner a Femdom Mistress who shares my experiences and assets, as I hers. Also belonging to a couple groups in Europa and Asia. Traveling frequently between the continents. We tend to share information and discuss many of the topics frequently. I will focus on the core items around, training and relationship management for those that are interested.

Experience

I have been involved in the lifestyle since being introduced to it by my father at the age of 13. He was a master in the 50's to 80's but predated the popularity of Gor, and was Pharaonic in nature. I owned my own slaves since my early 20's. I have usually been part of a poly household. For about 6 years three of us ran a BDSM club in Prague until it was "acquired" by the Russian "businessmen". I do not hold any moral taboos about this lifestyle and at one time or another have experience or seen everything imaginable. It is in this absence of mrals that principles, protocols and personal honour must determine the worth of an individual. It is their clear and unwavering adherence to these ethics that make for stauncher things than those which some observance by mere lip service to common morals. When men/women of honour lead, then they do so without malice, without negativity and without thought of personal gain. It only then that they truly attain Dominon over others. Therefore in mastery comes a devotion to duty, and the existence, needs and desires of others that exceeds the submission mere slaves give to the Dominant. A Dominant one must lead, govern, educate and enrich the lives of subjects beign ruled... for otherwise they are but a sycophant and a tyrant. Hedonism and narcissism plays no part in this, it is an apparition that forms from acts done at much higher levels of meaning that mere morally bound persons can not see.

Organizations
I belong to a number of local clubs, and a loose association (not formal) of about 25 masters and mistresses here in Western Europe and Asia who share experiences, training and some exchange trade assets.

Publications
I have not published on BDSM under my name, but contribute frequently to forums. I am consolidating my writings slowly on DarkCastleSin.org for any that are interested in reading.

Education/Credentials
Not relevant although I do have a DCS and DT but I am not Christian so have no moral dilemmas with this lifestyle.

Awards and Honors
Not applicable here, come on in our lifestyle these do not exist but should. When was the last time we had public awards for Worlds Darkest Sadist, World's Most Gifted Shibaru Artist, Worlds Most Diligent Mentor, World's Most Gifted Enthusiast,

Past/Present Clients
Not relevant; private consults remain so.

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