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BDSM/Newbie in M/s long distance relationship

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Question
Dr Bob,

I had a craigslist ad up that was recently answered by a Master in Toronto, while I currently reside in Michigan. Before he contacted me I have never explored the bdsm community but always had curiosity about it.  

As far as sexual compatibility we seem mesh. He says he wants to eventually move to Michigan. Right now he only contacts me via text citing he is trying to save the expense of international phone tolls.

He started out texting me several times per day during the first week. Then for three days I got no email and no one of my texts were returned. I thought I had been played with ans sent a rather scathing email. In the morning he responded to my email saying his phone got wet. He texted me later that morning and scolded me for the email and told me to have more faith in him. We stayed in contact over the next 3 days but than after that I heard nothing for 7 days. When I finally heard from him he said he was working in an area with poor cell reception. He corrected my behavior in his absence for the texts and emails questioning whether he had dumped me. Fast forward two weeks later and I send him a text saying I got a bonus and I would be coming for a visit this Easter holiday. All he said was, he'll have to see if he can move some jobs. I cancelled my trip.

Now 4 days later every day he texts me everyday in am for a while then in mid conversation he disappears and I hear nothing till the next morning. Today I asked him how come he's been doing that and his response was " I thought I was the Dom?" I said I needed his support cause I got bad news at doctors yesterday. I had sent him a text saying I was home... He never replied...

My gut is saying something is not right.. But perhaps it's not...

What are your thoughts?

Answer
I'd say: Trust your gut.

It doesn't sound right to me, either.

Also, I URGE you to get copies of our two BDSM Mastery books. The "Basics" book will give you a thorough understanding of the culture of BDSM and what is expected of you; the "Relationships" book will -- among other things -- give you a long list of "red flags" about a potential partner.

You can see them on our website -- then the link takes you to Amazon for purchasing.

www.KinkMastery.com

Thanks for writing: I'm glad that you're aware enough to have sensed that there is a problem.

Bob

BDSM

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Robert Rubel (Dr. Bob)

Expertise

Anything related to BDSM or Master/slave relationships or activities.

Experience

See: www.KinkMastery.com I live 24/7 Master/slave lifestyle and have since 2002 both as Master and slave. My Owner and I present and do "weekend intensives" internationally and at BDSM conferences practically every month.

Organizations
Masters And slaves Together (MAsT) National Leather Association - International (NLA-I) National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF)

Publications
+++ BDSM Mastery—Basics: your guide to play, parties, and scene protocols. +++ BDSM Mastery—Relationships: a guide for creating mindful relationships for Dominants and submissives +++ Master/slave Mastery: Updated handbook of concepts, approaches, and practices +++ Master/slave Mastery--Advanced: Refining the fire; ideas that matter +++ Master/slave Mastery--Protocols: Focusing the intent of your relationship +++ Is THAT What They Meant? A book of practical communication insights

Education/Credentials
PhD, Urban Education Policy Studies with a minor in criminology, U of Wisconsin, Madison. EdM, Boston University with specialty in urban education Presented 80+ BDSM weekend conferences worldwide since 2007.

Awards and Honors
Pantheon of Leather Community Choice - Man, 2008

Past/Present Clients
Not applicable.

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