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Question
I have experience of Flr but am now in the process of switching. I'm reading up on stuff I have no idea about and there are plenty of guides for physical things (how to spank/punish, knot tying for Shibari, etc) but I am unable to find any guides as to psychology. Really, I'm surprised because surely psychology is the most important aspect (sex being all in the head apart from friction). So some might say everyone is different and what motivates one is person is different from another person, but really? I mean we're all  Homo sapiens so there has to be some common denominators. Surely the most important factor has to be the psychological one. I'm pretty sure of my own head-space regarding this (though always willing to learn/grow) - I want to be equally standing on firm ground for my future partner.


Anyway, if you can give any guidance it would be really appreciated - both by me and the future Mrs.Sub.

Answer
Dominance is 90% mental, all of the other acts are simply reinforcement of this. The mental aspects are significant but there are limited reading available. It is mostly anecdotal in nature.  I have a few articles I have written on my journal in CollarSpace (profile MasterNanuck) but for the most part the bulk of the material is private and used for training sessions.  There are a couple introductory websites available to help.

http://dominantguide.com/1496/an-absolute-beginners-guide-to-domination-as-told-

But most of the material is limited at best. The first and foremost thing about domination and control is that it begins with yourself.  Knowing your self, controlling your impulses and acts in a focused way allows you to separate yourself from the individual you are controlling. There in the acts you perform become ritualistic and reinforcing not solely for your satisfaction.

This brings me to the second point patience, if you are rushing then the experience is is a race to the finish, and the journey is not enjoyed; by either of you. Take time, always leave the unexpected to emerge so as to through confusion into the mind of the one being dominated. This prevents them from finding hooks upon which they figure they can leverage you (top from the bottom). Never ever allow this reversal.

Thirdly know your subject, know their desires, needs and become the focus of their receiving those.  Their joy and pleasure is solely then focused on what you give them.  Understand that how you give this is as important as what you give. Think very much the same way you train a dog, after all a slave is psychologically nothing more than human pet.

Lastly, routine...  Patterns and rituals are important, they reinforce the learning and in the end become habit.  Habit is the basis of forming a lifestyle and a critical mass.

If you want to read up on one subject which clearly exemplifies this look at the "Stockholm Syndrome"; all successful doms use this approach to garner control and mastery over their subjects. In the end the subject becomes not only a willing participant but eagerly so. Their happiness coupled to that of their captor even when the captor is not present.

I can spend hours on this subject, but this should get you started. If you have more questions please ask.

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Aramock Nanuck

Expertise

I will answer any questions concern the lifestyle and may annoy a few because I do dive into the history and psychology of this lifestyle in many of my answers. I have a partner a Femdom Mistress who shares my experiences and assets, as I hers. Also belonging to a couple groups in Europa and Asia. Traveling frequently between the continents. We tend to share information and discuss many of the topics frequently. I will focus on the core items around, training and relationship management for those that are interested.

Experience

I have been involved in the lifestyle since being introduced to it by my father at the age of 13. He was a master in the 50's to 80's but predated the popularity of Gor, and was Pharaonic in nature. I owned my own slaves since my early 20's. I have usually been part of a poly household. For about 6 years three of us ran a BDSM club in Prague until it was "acquired" by the Russian "businessmen". I do not hold any moral taboos about this lifestyle and at one time or another have experience or seen everything imaginable. It is in this absence of mrals that principles, protocols and personal honour must determine the worth of an individual. It is their clear and unwavering adherence to these ethics that make for stauncher things than those which some observance by mere lip service to common morals. When men/women of honour lead, then they do so without malice, without negativity and without thought of personal gain. It only then that they truly attain Dominon over others. Therefore in mastery comes a devotion to duty, and the existence, needs and desires of others that exceeds the submission mere slaves give to the Dominant. A Dominant one must lead, govern, educate and enrich the lives of subjects beign ruled... for otherwise they are but a sycophant and a tyrant. Hedonism and narcissism plays no part in this, it is an apparition that forms from acts done at much higher levels of meaning that mere morally bound persons can not see.

Organizations
I belong to a number of local clubs, and a loose association (not formal) of about 25 masters and mistresses here in Western Europe and Asia who share experiences, training and some exchange trade assets.

Publications
I have not published on BDSM under my name, but contribute frequently to forums. I am consolidating my writings slowly on DarkCastleSin.org for any that are interested in reading.

Education/Credentials
Not relevant although I do have a DCS and DT but I am not Christian so have no moral dilemmas with this lifestyle.

Awards and Honors
Not applicable here, come on in our lifestyle these do not exist but should. When was the last time we had public awards for Worlds Darkest Sadist, World's Most Gifted Shibaru Artist, Worlds Most Diligent Mentor, World's Most Gifted Enthusiast,

Past/Present Clients
Not relevant; private consults remain so.

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