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BDSM/Trying new things

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Question
My 'partner' and I have always had a sexual relationship we have been sleeping together for 9 years (on and off, between his relationships) we are very close and have no shame. We have always had a switch relationship. Choking, punching, slapping etc has been a part of our sexual relationship for more than a few years but recently we have come to the conclusion were into much, much more! We both are into stretching, to which we were finally able to try the other day, he was able to get just past his knuckles inside of me and I fucked him with a strap on. We have decided to try a larger dildo next time. We have started trying rope but get distracted and never end up finishing. We're up for anything but am finding very very limited information/ideas online!
So I'm asking, what's our next step? Extreme is good! But so is more common desires!!
Thanks in advance :)

Answer
search online for a BDSM checklist.  Review the checklist together and see what interests you.  Once you find potential areas of interest, research those (online, attend classes and workshops, read books) so that you understand proper technique and potential risks.  Then take the time to hone your skills before attempting more extreme things on a living and breathing partner

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Ben Martin

Expertise

Questions related to power-based relationships in which decision-making authority is intentionally and consensually transferred -- and the resulting imbalance celebrated. I am able to assist those trying to understand where they fit in, and those seeking to structure and thrive in a power based relationships. Specific topics I am able to discuss include: setting and achieving personal and relationship goals, responsible Mastery, the use of protocols and rituals, communication techniques, and conflict resolution. In addition, I am knowledgable and experienced in polyamory, long-distance relationships, bisexuality and a variety of kinky activities ranging from mind games to sadistic play.

Experience

I have chosen to have a power-based structure in my relationships over the past 18 years. This has included a 16-year M/s relationship, several shorter term D/s relationships and various play partners. I am an active participant in various online forums and seek to provide support and advice to those interested in the Lifestyle.

Organizations
Black Rose

Publications
My writings, insights and discussion contributions are available on Alt.com and FetLife.com. On both websites, my user name is BenMartin

Education/Credentials
I do not hold any credentials specific to BDSM, relying instead on knowledge gained from life experiences, reading and conversing with others in the Lifestyle.

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