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Question
hi...it looks like soon that we, a male/female couple, will have a female slave here at home. what i need to ask is, what are some quick ways to establish dominance over her and make her understand who the boss is?  thank you!

Answer
James -

Honestly, I'm a bit perplexed by your question. When a person co sensually enters slavery to another there is typically an already establish sense of authority. The slave determines that the Master has the skills and resources to make decisions within the agreed parameters and willing surrenders. Notions of "breaking" the slave or locking the slave in a cage are the stuff of sexual fantasy - not tools for building a functioning and healthy authority based relationship

Now if what you meant is how to establish rules and protocols that support and strengthen the agreed upon authority transfer, that's different. For that, my suggestion is to Look at what things are important to you where the slave can provide service (anything from kitchen and housework to travel plans or assisting a business) and decide how you like those things done. Then explain this expectations, provide any needed instruction or training, and give feedback on how the skave is doing. So no need to bark orders, exact punishments, or impose a grueling training regime. Just knowing what you want and communicating it

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Ben Martin

Expertise

Questions related to power-based relationships in which decision-making authority is intentionally and consensually transferred -- and the resulting imbalance celebrated. I am able to assist those trying to understand where they fit in, and those seeking to structure and thrive in a power based relationships. Specific topics I am able to discuss include: setting and achieving personal and relationship goals, responsible Mastery, the use of protocols and rituals, communication techniques, and conflict resolution. In addition, I am knowledgable and experienced in polyamory, long-distance relationships, bisexuality and a variety of kinky activities ranging from mind games to sadistic play.

Experience

I have chosen to have a power-based structure in my relationships over the past 18 years. This has included a 16-year M/s relationship, several shorter term D/s relationships and various play partners. I am an active participant in various online forums and seek to provide support and advice to those interested in the Lifestyle.

Organizations
Black Rose

Publications
My writings, insights and discussion contributions are available on Alt.com and FetLife.com. On both websites, my user name is BenMartin

Education/Credentials
I do not hold any credentials specific to BDSM, relying instead on knowledge gained from life experiences, reading and conversing with others in the Lifestyle.

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