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Question
"I'm 18 and recently my bf has decided to join the bdsm community, we are talking about starting a agreement for me to be his sub, but I don't wanna loose what we have had since this is so new to me. How will things change, and he's even talking about having other subs but since I'm new to all this it hurts me because it feels like I'm not special and that he's cheating on me. I need advice"

Answer
Becca

Not everyone is cut out for this lifestyle. In many cases if some one is pushing you into it and they want variety it is likely an excuse to be adventurous. I am not saying this is the case but it warrants a serious conversation with your bf before you enter into it. The opportunity for you could be to have a broad experience particularly if you share the new comer into the relationship. If you are looking to expand your sexual horizons then this would provide such a vehicle. If not then I would suggest make a rational and not emotional decision. The only real way to do this is sit with him and discuss what aspects he is interested in and why he would want to add someone to the mix. I am poly myself but everyone knows it in advance and no one is compelled to join if they are not comfortable with the dynamic. The same respect is due you. So in a quiet non-emotional setting have a heart to heart with your bf and then decide for yourself.

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Aramock Nanuck

Expertise

I will answer any questions concern the lifestyle and may annoy a few because I do dive into the history and psychology of this lifestyle in many of my answers. I have a partner a Femdom Mistress who shares my experiences and assets, as I hers. Also belonging to a couple groups in Europa and Asia. Traveling frequently between the continents. We tend to share information and discuss many of the topics frequently. I will focus on the core items around, training and relationship management for those that are interested.

Experience

I have been involved in the lifestyle since being introduced to it by my father at the age of 13. He was a master in the 50's to 80's but predated the popularity of Gor, and was Pharaonic in nature. I owned my own slaves since my early 20's. I have usually been part of a poly household. For about 6 years three of us ran a BDSM club in Prague until it was "acquired" by the Russian "businessmen". I do not hold any moral taboos about this lifestyle and at one time or another have experience or seen everything imaginable. It is in this absence of mrals that principles, protocols and personal honour must determine the worth of an individual. It is their clear and unwavering adherence to these ethics that make for stauncher things than those which some observance by mere lip service to common morals. When men/women of honour lead, then they do so without malice, without negativity and without thought of personal gain. It only then that they truly attain Dominon over others. Therefore in mastery comes a devotion to duty, and the existence, needs and desires of others that exceeds the submission mere slaves give to the Dominant. A Dominant one must lead, govern, educate and enrich the lives of subjects beign ruled... for otherwise they are but a sycophant and a tyrant. Hedonism and narcissism plays no part in this, it is an apparition that forms from acts done at much higher levels of meaning that mere morally bound persons can not see.

Organizations
I belong to a number of local clubs, and a loose association (not formal) of about 25 masters and mistresses here in Western Europe and Asia who share experiences, training and some exchange trade assets.

Publications
I have not published on BDSM under my name, but contribute frequently to forums. I am consolidating my writings slowly on DarkCastleSin.org for any that are interested in reading.

Education/Credentials
Not relevant although I do have a DCS and DT but I am not Christian so have no moral dilemmas with this lifestyle.

Awards and Honors
Not applicable here, come on in our lifestyle these do not exist but should. When was the last time we had public awards for Worlds Darkest Sadist, World's Most Gifted Shibaru Artist, Worlds Most Diligent Mentor, World's Most Gifted Enthusiast,

Past/Present Clients
Not relevant; private consults remain so.

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