BDSM/A name for me as a mistress
My boyfriend and I have been together about a year, and I always knew he was submissive. More recently we've started to really get into me being dominant, which I am discovering that I LOVE the more we get into it. Before, it was more about denial and chastity, now it's becoming more punishment and control, which again, I'm loving. My boyfriend has always called me Mistress when he DOES use a name and he recently asked me if I'd prefer a different name. I think I'd like to be called something else, but I'm not sure what. I've googled and haven't been able to find much. My boyfriend gave me these suggestions "madam, ma'am, goddess, domme, domina, mistress" but I don't want him to choose my name. I get to do that. But I don't know what I want. What if there's an amazing name out there I haven't heard of yet! Any ideas or suggestions?
If you've already answered this I'm sorry! Link me to your reply or suggestions and that'll be that. :)
Thanks for the question. I just wanted to congratulate you on being the selected for the Kinky Question Of The Day on the new Mundane To Mistress podcast. I answered your question on the newest episode but incase you aren't able to listen, I'll transcribe what I said. It's also on the blog directly.
I think a name within BDSM play is an important aspect of immersing yourself in your play.
Your boyfriend has listed the standard go-tos for female dominant titles but there are several others. Personally after some self reflection I realized that being called Mistress exclusively wasn't something I wanted. I like being called Miss and Mistress but I also identify as being a domme/dominant. I identify best with Natali Noir as my name but titles can be Miss or Mistress or Ms. Natali.
Here are some other titles I enjoy:
Ms (Last Name)
Sultana (Arabic for 'Queen')
It's really all about preference. Choosing a name has never (and will never) be a permant thing in kinky play. If you try something out for a week or two and hate then change it and if you don't like the new name, change it again. Don't be afraid to change your name until you find something that fits and equally don't be afraid to punish your boyfriend if he forgets your name of the week lol.
Above all else have fun and find something that you truly think suits you.
Good luck and let us know what you decide!