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BDSM/removeing a collar

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Question
Bob
Don't know if you will remember me it has been awhile.
What I am looking for is there any info. on removing the collar of a passed Master. Any ceremony, anything on protocol ?
I was asked by a Master to remove his collars on his passing. and I want to do it correctly.
It seems as if I seen a ceremony but can not remember where or who
Thank you for any help
Jack
MTT

Answer
Good morning, Jack...

I seem to remember your "MTT" signature line. Thanks for writing again.  Let's see whether I can be of any help.

There is no set protocol for removing a collar. I write about "uncollaring ceremonies" as a way of finalizing the end of a relationship, but those directly involved have to create the ceremony in ways that make emotional sense to them.

It sounds as though you've been asked to remove collar(s) belonging to the person surviving an M/s relationship.  That is a serious honor, so you must have quite a bit of stature in your community.

I'd think you'd want to discuss the process with those involved. I'd also think that you'd want to build a ceremony around it. (If you do, and if you're willing to share what you do, I'd be very interested in hearing about it.  My regular email is: PowerExchangeEditor@yahoo.com)

For example, they might invite some particularly close friends over to participate as your remove the collar(s).  Certain friends could be called upon to recall positive memories of the passed Master. They may wish the ceremony documented with photographs or video.

The event could start by "smudging" the room (native American tradition using smouldering sage stick). Music special to the two people could be playing. Perhaps drink a toast to the relationship, etc.

The survivor may wish to have a case built to preserve the collar?  They may wish to bury it? They may wish to pass it on as a piece of Leather tradition?

Relationships are what you make of them; endings are what you wish to make of them. Ceremonies build memories.

Hope this helps.

Bob
(Fet = Dr_Bob)  

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Robert Rubel (Dr. Bob)

Expertise

Anything related to BDSM or Master/slave relationships or activities.

Experience

See: www.KinkMastery.com I live 24/7 Master/slave lifestyle and have since 2002 both as Master and slave. My Owner and I present and do "weekend intensives" internationally and at BDSM conferences practically every month.

Organizations
Masters And slaves Together (MAsT) National Leather Association - International (NLA-I) National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF)

Publications
+++ BDSM Mastery—Basics: your guide to play, parties, and scene protocols. +++ BDSM Mastery—Relationships: a guide for creating mindful relationships for Dominants and submissives +++ Master/slave Mastery: Updated handbook of concepts, approaches, and practices +++ Master/slave Mastery--Advanced: Refining the fire; ideas that matter +++ Master/slave Mastery--Protocols: Focusing the intent of your relationship +++ Is THAT What They Meant? A book of practical communication insights

Education/Credentials
PhD, Urban Education Policy Studies with a minor in criminology, U of Wisconsin, Madison. EdM, Boston University with specialty in urban education Presented 80+ BDSM weekend conferences worldwide since 2007.

Awards and Honors
Pantheon of Leather Community Choice - Man, 2008

Past/Present Clients
Not applicable.

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