BDSM/Femdom

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QUESTION: I am a 30 year old mistress. Recently I began a femdom relationship with a 19 year old boy. I was a bit reluctant at first to get into a relationship with someone so young but he convinced me that he is a slave and that he would obey me. Most of my subs have been men closer to my age or older than me and I am a bit apprehensive about being in a relationship with someone so young. I am a very strict mistress and I love pain play, bondage and keeping my subs in chastity for long periods. I want to know though is it ok for him to live as a slave nearly 24/7? As a slave he is in permanent chastity with a release granted just once a month. He has to wear ankle and wrist cuffs with a short chain linking both the cuffs and remains naked at home. And about pain play, I have only spanked him so far but want to try to push his limits further by using my cane on him. Is it fair of me to demand these things of him? He has obeyed me in everything so far and seems the perfect slave for me but I wonder if I am denying him something vital by asking him to live as a slave. For example because of his slave duties he canít go out as often or socialize with his friends or even hold a job. Since his fatherís death a few years ago he was struggling a bit and he is happy living with me. But I am in two minds whether to let go of him or continue to be his mistress.

ANSWER: Alvira,

I can not tell you what is wrong or right in this situation.. Only you and he can decide what it the right thing to do for this situation.

I can say he is over the legal age to make his own choices about his life. So I would sit down with him and explain to him what your concerns are, what are his concerns, what does he want in life that he knows will not change *kids, marriage, and so forth*

If none of these are a must for him, then explain to him what will be expected from him if he were to become a live in.. What would his roles be, what he is and isnt allowed to do, what you will or will not do and go from there.

Age for some is simply a number, although there are those who can not overlook the difference in ages and it becomes a problem.

Would I do something like this, no, is it wrong to do this with someone his age, legally no, but for me I see it as wrong.. Although I am not the one taking on someone it is you so only you and his can decide what works for the two of you and go from there..

You also need to remember, in a few yrs or ten, he might change you might change either for the greater good of the relationship or for the bad.. So you can do it now, and it will feel right, just remember as the Dom of the relationship if there is a time you no longer feel this is working cause of the age you can and should say something.

So do what makes you happy and him.. If living together does that then do  not let anyone else decide this for you.

Lady Aryana

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I want to ask a few more questions about having a young slave. First of all I want to know about how long he can remain in chastity. Is once a month too much or can he go even further? Another question I have is about pain tolerance. Can younger men bear more or less pain than older men? And lastly do you have any ideas about bondage for long periods, like the positions, ties, chains etc that can or should be used?

Answer
Alvira,

Chastity can be as long as you wish, some are belted for months, and or years.. So it is up to you and how well he handles it..

As for younger men I honestly don't think age has much to do with it.. I have played with 30's yr olds and I play with 60 yr olds, and the older ones seems to take more at certain times.. So I think it depends on if the men are pain sluts or not.

As for bondage, I am not one for anything but leather, although I do know people who use rope and long term bondage.. I would suggest signing up for fetlife.com and finding others who are into bondage and long term and finding your answer there.. You can also search google for some idea's as well.

Sorry I don't have the patience for rope I am one who enjoys getting to the play and not all the work that goes into strapping them down lol

Good Luck

Lady Aryana

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Lady Aryana

Expertise

Fem Dom relationships, Male Dom/fem slave, Master/slave relationships M/f, F/f, Long Distance relationships, Leather community, Victorian Lifestyle, BDSM play, Community support, Full time slavery and submission *living together, and how to adjust, protocols, and so forth. Web pages and site for help with finding others in your area. HOH or DD relationships. D/s has always been a part of me I am still active in looking for a relationship either D/s or Mistress/slave, or simply learning more in order to help others. I am always reading, either on the net or books.

Experience

I have been in long distance relationship that were D/s relationships. I have owned both male and female slaves/submissive, I have been both a real time slave, submissive, and submissive wife. I am not in a committed relationship at the moment. I just moved to Indina with in the last year. I can be found on Fetlife.com as LadyAryana. I am not collared, and I still am always on the look for others to play with around me. Slowing I am returning to being active in the community here in Indiana. In the past I have been active in the BDSM community and a DM for play parties. I have been active for the last 20+ yrs in BDSM in one way or another

Organizations
I was active in the GA community when I lived there. I am semi active in Indiana since moving here, I attend munches and demo's / play parties GRALE, Belong to PEP, and other BDSM clubs over the yrs.

Publications
Egroups, Blogs, Journals, And some story writings.

Education/Credentials
Have taken work shops for different BDSM events. Attended SELF given demo's, Been a DM for play parties and private and public clubs. Attending gathering of both D/s, Spanking lifestyles. I have been active in HOH and DD relationships. I was active in the leather community while living in GA. I was trained Victorian and and Gorean, I understand that training varies in each relationship so you adjust to what it is you do for the relationship you are in. I have trained both Master's and Mistress' along with slaves in the yrs I have been in BDSM.

Past/Present Clients
Master, slave, submissive, Tops, and Bottoms. Along with those who simply wanted to learn how to be kinky in the bedroom

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