BDSM/LDR

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Question
How does a slave serve and please her Master (poly) in an LDR.
I am entering into an online long distance relationship dynamic as a slave with a poly Master and would like to know how I can serve him and please him in the LDR.

I was introduced to the LS over 23 years ago as a slave, was in that dynamic for about 5 years and have not been in the lifestyle since. My first dynamic was real life, we lived down the street from each other and I was very young so I am trying to reintroduce myself and relearn everything.

Answer
Hi, tabby --

Congratulations on your new relationship.

LDRs can be difficult.  The challenge comes from you not being present to interact with Master. Similarly, Master can't quite tell the intention behind your actions.

At the most fundamental level, Master is responsible for telling you exactly what he wants you to do that constitutes "pleasing" him. I can't guess that one.

Each of you are seeking to serve the other, in a way. You wish to please your Master and your Master wishes to reaffirm his relationship and caring for you.

In my experience, it helps if you can be in touch at least twice and perhaps three times a day.

In the morning, have a ritual phone call (preferably Skype where you can see one another). You may have a mantra to say. He should have some kind of assignment that he knows you can fulfill within your busy life. In the second phone call, perhaps before dinner, you report your progress to Master. Master might want to give you permission to have your evening meal, for example.

The final phone call (again, Skype is your friend) offers a time to visit and close off your days. Again, you may wish to develop an evening mantra/protocol.

Write back if you have other questions or want me to approach the answer in some other way.

Thanks for writing,

Bob

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Robert Rubel (Dr. Bob)

Expertise

Anything related to BDSM or Master/slave relationships or activities.

Experience

See: www.KinkMastery.com I live 24/7 Master/slave lifestyle and have since 2002 both as Master and slave. My Owner and I present and do "weekend intensives" internationally and at BDSM conferences practically every month.

Organizations
Masters And slaves Together (MAsT) National Leather Association - International (NLA-I) National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF)

Publications
+++ BDSM Mastery—Basics: your guide to play, parties, and scene protocols. +++ BDSM Mastery—Relationships: a guide for creating mindful relationships for Dominants and submissives +++ Master/slave Mastery: Updated handbook of concepts, approaches, and practices +++ Master/slave Mastery--Advanced: Refining the fire; ideas that matter +++ Master/slave Mastery--Protocols: Focusing the intent of your relationship +++ Is THAT What They Meant? A book of practical communication insights

Education/Credentials
PhD, Urban Education Policy Studies with a minor in criminology, U of Wisconsin, Madison. EdM, Boston University with specialty in urban education Presented 80+ BDSM weekend conferences worldwide since 2007.

Awards and Honors
Pantheon of Leather Community Choice - Man, 2008

Past/Present Clients
Not applicable.

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