BDSM/Warm up techniques
Hi Natali Noir,
I am new to BDSM but have some experience and getting involved in the nearest community. However, it is quite far. To improve my current scenes with my submissive, I'd like to gain an understanding of basic WarmUp techniques. We already use some mental warmup to set the scene but I'm interested in some actual physical steps in WarmUp prior to thuddy or stingy impact play. Please explain what you can along with a few examples of how you would use physical techniques.
Thank you for your time.
Your question was chosen for the Kinky Question Of The Day on the new Mundane To Mistress podcast. I answered your question on the newest episode but in case you aren't able to listen, I'll transcribe what I said. It's also on the blog directly.
It's good to hear you're getting involved in your local community as much as you can. If you can't drive to them online is a good substitute as well. There are many locals I've talked to online for years but have never actually met in person!
Now you asked about warm-up techniques before play. When I first started I never understood warming up, I always wanted to just jump into play and played hard until my bottom was spent. This is a terrible idea unless you want to have a very quick and dirty scene. I was never one for foreplay and for me this seemed to serve the same purpose. Years later I have learned better.
Warming up before a scene gets really going is a great way to get my favorite friends, endorphins to the party. This will help your partner increase their tolerance for any pain you'd like to give out and for longer periods. Endorphins are released in stages so after about 10 minutes of warm-ups your partner is ready for light flogging or light paddling. If you increase intensity every 5 minutes there after with a sudden peak of 10-15 seconds of very intense stimulation just beyond their pain threshold it will trigger the body to release yet another round of endorphins and so forth.
As for the actual things you can do to warm-up they depend on what you're trying to achieve. For me personally I am usually doing impact and rough body play. I start by running my hands all over my partner's body and then begin to dig my fingers into the muscles in their chest and back. I then tweak their nipples and lightly tug on their hair. Massaging the area I plan to use also happens. I sometimes do all this while they are blindfolded that way they will only be able to focus on my touch. I may start to lightly spank their ass and run my nails across their ass. If my partner becomes aroused during this warm-up I find that helps them slip into a better place later on for any pain they'll be receiving.
The main focus of warming up is to get the blood flowing to help increase pain tolerance and decrease the chance for bruising. Any variation of the play you will be doing with a lighter touch working up in intensity should be sufficient.