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Question
Hi, I am a complete newbie and have in the last few weeks been slowly introduced to bdsm by a close male friend who I've know for 5 years. I'm female. (Only because I've recently asked questions and shown an interest, he's never pushed me) He is into sadism and enjoys inflicting pain on consenting submissives. I am not his submissive but am starting to experiment with him. He knows I'm not into pain and he respects that and has never hurt me or asked me to try taking pain although I know he'd like to. I trust him completely and I get very aroused when he holds my throat (last time he held my throat after giving me the most intense orgasm of my life)  but now when I'm not with him and just thinking about him holding my throat I can actually feel his hand there. Is this normal?

Answer
We (kinsters) used to talk about Safe, Sane, and Consensual, Kink but many said "What is - sane?" I hit my slave, that is abuse; yet she smiles from the pleasure which flows through her from that act. I feel her, sense her orgasm coming near, closer, and in that moment my hand covers her mouth, her nose, she inhales against me, body heaves she tries to gasp as I hold her head pressed into the pillow struggles as I hold her in my power. When I release her she fills her lungs exhales long and hard as she relaxes, spent, panting, nothing left. I pull her to me, hold her in the safety of my arms, kiss her and whisper "You are wonderful."

To those who don't know, who cannot feel the trust we have in each other, who cannot know how high we fly; to those we seem crazy. But to those of us who play amounst the clouds of pleasure we can only smile and say "Yes, again yes, and yes again."

To our friends, family, and coworkers, no, we are not normal so be careful with whom you share your fantasies. But to others you are as normal as that feeling which flows through your body and makes you wet with the memories.

So yes, in our world you are entirely normal! :)

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BrianR

Expertise

I will answer questions related to long term Master/slave relationships.

Experience

We have been married since 2007, and I collared her on November 1, 2008. My slave and I are married, monogamous, and committed to each other. My relationship with my slave is based on mutual love, respect, and frankly fun. Race Bannon has said "if you are not having fun then you are doing it wrong." We are having lots of fun so we must be doing something right! My slave is an intelligent (BS in Mathematics actually), and strong women who chooses to put her power into my service and, perhaps seemingly paradoxically as she is my submissive, my equal. She is my slave, my wife, my best friend, and my only lover. I respect her for her ability to submit and truly believe that it takes more strength to submit then to dominate. She follows, but not blindly.

Organizations
Masters and Slaves Together - Marysville (Washington) (founding director) MAsT International - Assistant Northwest Regional Representative 2015, Regional Representtive 2016 BDSM Writers Workshop (April 2016) http://bdsmwriterscon.com/

Publications
My essays are on Fetlife under BrianR (https://fetlife.com/users/9389/posts)

Education/Credentials
Engineer (however this probably should be under the category "barriers your slave has overcome")

Awards and Honors
With my lovely slave we were Northwest Master and slave 2013

Past/Present Clients
With my slave I have presented at national and international events since 2013. While we enjoy presenting at national events, we find more satisfaction in talking with small groups from Boise ID to Singapore and Hong Kong. Our list of classes is available at

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