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BDSM/What it means to be a Dom

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Question
Hello and good day,
I have been fascinated with the whole Dom/Sub dynamic since I first read Harold Robbins as a 12 yr old. I also finally came out of the closet as gay last year. I am a lipstick lesbian who likes femmes or lipstick lesbians too. I would like to know the different kinds of Doms and Submissive there are so that I know where I fall in and I know what to look for. Is it possible to have a D/S relationship and it still remains loving? Hoping to hear from you.
Thank you.

Answer
Evening,,

I would be able to go on for a endless amount of time trying to explain all the different ways and meanings of a Dom/Sub relationship, cause there honestly are so many different ways to be in one, that what I say works for one simply will not work for another.

I suggest you try a few different ways and decide what works for you, what you are interested in and what you know is a limit for you.

I can suggest books, some of my favorite are..

Screw the roses, send me the thorns

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman

Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission

The Master's Manual: A Handbook of Erotic Dominance

Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame and Gloria Brame

The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance

The Art Of Sensual Female Dominance: A Guide for Women

Mind you most of the books are for hetro relationships, although the advice both for play and mental can work for all relationships, gay , bi and Hetro.

I would also suggest signing up for fetlife.com it is a free site and you can join groups that will be able to help you decide what kind of Dom/sub relationship you might want to try or not.

https://fetlife.com/search?q=+lesbian

This will give you the list of groups, which you can explore and learn about what it is you are looking for and allow you to explore all areas which perk your interest..

Now to mention maybe it will lead you to meeting others close to you which you can learn form face to face..

D/s is to different even when you know what you like, and enjoy you will find you have someone come into your life, and wish to fill a need or desire so you learn something new.. It is a never ending journey where you change over time, and throw out old kinks, and bring in new, or decide what something just isnt right with one person so you figure out how to make it work.

Good luck.. And so sorry for the delay, I had surgery and I am still having issues with the recovery..

If you have any questions about fetlife, I am LadyAryana on there.

Hope you have a great weekend.

Lady Aryana

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Lady Aryana

Expertise

Fem Dom relationships, Male Dom/fem slave, Master/slave relationships M/f, F/f, Long Distance relationships, Leather community, Victorian Lifestyle, BDSM play, Community support, Full time slavery and submission *living together, and how to adjust, protocols, and so forth. Web pages and site for help with finding others in your area. HOH or DD relationships. D/s has always been a part of me I am still active in looking for a relationship either D/s or Mistress/slave, or simply learning more in order to help others. I am always reading, either on the net or books.

Experience

I have been in long distance relationship that were D/s relationships. I have owned both male and female slaves/submissive, I have been both a real time slave, submissive, and submissive wife. I am not in a committed relationship at the moment. I just moved to Indina with in the last year. I can be found on Fetlife.com as LadyAryana. I am not collared, and I still am always on the look for others to play with around me. Slowing I am returning to being active in the community here in Indiana. In the past I have been active in the BDSM community and a DM for play parties. I have been active for the last 20+ yrs in BDSM in one way or another

Organizations
I was active in the GA community when I lived there. I am semi active in Indiana since moving here, I attend munches and demo's / play parties GRALE, Belong to PEP, and other BDSM clubs over the yrs.

Publications
Egroups, Blogs, Journals, And some story writings.

Education/Credentials
Have taken work shops for different BDSM events. Attended SELF given demo's, Been a DM for play parties and private and public clubs. Attending gathering of both D/s, Spanking lifestyles. I have been active in HOH and DD relationships. I was active in the leather community while living in GA. I was trained Victorian and and Gorean, I understand that training varies in each relationship so you adjust to what it is you do for the relationship you are in. I have trained both Master's and Mistress' along with slaves in the yrs I have been in BDSM.

Past/Present Clients
Master, slave, submissive, Tops, and Bottoms. Along with those who simply wanted to learn how to be kinky in the bedroom

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