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Question
Hello, I'm a relatively new sub/slave in the BDSM community. I have been with my master for a few months now. He and I are trying to think of ways we can discreetly bring our kink out in public with us. I personally love staying in my sub/slave space because it brings me a lot of comfort, especially when around him. We already have some of the common ones thought of (remote control vibrator, dress code, speak when spoken to..) I was wondering if you could help us brain storm?

Thank you,

Jillian.

Answer
Hi, Jillian, thanks for writing.

Sure...

Walk slightly behind him, either on his right or left side.  Open doors for him. HE will walk ahead of you into restaurants. If you want to push it some, you might consider dressing up as a chauffeur when going out at night??  

In a restaurant, you tell hem what you want to order, but he orders for you AND you cannot speak to the waitperson. Even if the person looks directly at you... you just turn and look at your Master.

Use "Sir" or "Master" in as many sentences as you can, and no longer call him by name.  In my own relationship, calling my Master by her name is the same as calling an "emotional Red."

You may be interested in some of our books, as your starting down this path. I think they'd be a lot of help.  

We're about two months out from publishing an updated protocols book -- which is exactly what you're looking for.  If you contact me through our website, I'll add your name to the announcements list when it comes out.

Write back if you have more questions...

Best wishes,

Dr. Bob

www.KinkMastery.com

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Robert Rubel (Dr. Bob)

Expertise

Anything related to BDSM or Master/slave relationships or activities.

Experience

See: www.KinkMastery.com I live 24/7 Master/slave lifestyle and have since 2002 both as Master and slave. My Owner and I present and do "weekend intensives" internationally and at BDSM conferences practically every month.

Organizations
Masters And slaves Together (MAsT) National Leather Association - International (NLA-I) National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF)

Publications
+++ BDSM Mastery—Basics: your guide to play, parties, and scene protocols. +++ BDSM Mastery—Relationships: a guide for creating mindful relationships for Dominants and submissives +++ Master/slave Mastery: Updated handbook of concepts, approaches, and practices +++ Master/slave Mastery--Advanced: Refining the fire; ideas that matter +++ Master/slave Mastery--Protocols: Focusing the intent of your relationship +++ Is THAT What They Meant? A book of practical communication insights

Education/Credentials
PhD, Urban Education Policy Studies with a minor in criminology, U of Wisconsin, Madison. EdM, Boston University with specialty in urban education Presented 80+ BDSM weekend conferences worldwide since 2007.

Awards and Honors
Pantheon of Leather Community Choice - Man, 2008

Past/Present Clients
Not applicable.

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