Expert: Master Shadow - 6/12/2007

Question
Good evening! i have met the Man who may be my Master.  In the seven years that i've been active in the Lifestyle, i have yet to meet anyone of His calibre and am, indeed, a grateful sub to be within His realm.
He and i are discussing a collar of consideration...we haven't known each other very long, but the feelings are so intense...my understanding is that a collar of consideration would signify His ownership of me and our intention of a formal collaring in the future.
Do You agree?  Also, can you direct me to any reading on these?  
Thank You for Your time!

k

Answer
First off, congratulations on finding your Master! It is an awesome thing to discover the One you want to serve in all things.

As to collars, and the collar of consideration. It is not truly a collar of ownership, but rather intent. It shows that a Master has seen some interest in you, and wants to explore further, but does not actually signify ownership. That doesn't happen until a Formal Collaring occurs.

The Collar of Consideration allows more freedoms to be taken by the Master, and more to be expected by the sub or slave. It is a learning time, wherein both the Master, and you learn each other more thoroughly. It is a way of seeing if the relationship actually has possibilities before a more permanent relationship is entered into.

This is an important time for both of you. It gives you the chance to explore each other more thoroughly. To learn each others personalities, likes, dislikes, and limits. It is the make or break point in the bdsm relationship, where you both find out if you are compatible with each other.

A word of caution, though. Make sure you get to know Him well first.  Many so called Doms will use the Collar of Consideration just to get a "quick piece" so to speak, and have free maid service at their beck and call. Make sure you are not just being used by some married guy who wants a little side action away from wifey. I know it sounds cold, but there are many players out there, and I don't want anyone to be used like that, as it hurts, and makes one feel cheap, and cheated.

You might try CastleRealm.com, or IronGate.com for more info on this subject. Personally, I prefer CastleRealm for those just entering the Lifestyle. It is a teaching site, with much information available for newbies as well as those into the Lifestyle for years.

I hope this helps, and best of luck with your new One!

    
                                            Master Shadow.