Expert: Master Shadow - 8/12/2007

Question
QUESTION: Here in the UK, we have a couple of "terms" for which I'm pretty sure I know the Definition and Differences, but I am just after clarification. I am certain that these terms are used Worldwide within the BDSM community. These terms are "Wannabe" and "Newbie"

ANSWER: A wannabe is someone who pretends to have an active interest in the BDSM Lifestyle. They are interested only in the attention, or (Worse) are using the BDSM Lifestyle as a simple excuse to abuse someone, or have a handy person around so that they have to do nothing, letting the slave/sub take care of the house, cooking, working, etc.

A newbie is someone who actually has an active interest in the Lifestyle. They have taken that extra step that many never feel the guts to do, prefering only to live in the world of imagination, and online-isms. They have actually attended munches/sloshes, events, and either are actively seeking a Dominant, Master or Mistress, and actuallyARE seeking to be scened, and Dominated, or are actively seeking a slave/sub to scene or Dominate.

I hope this helps. I'm sure others have a slightly different description, but most will pretty much fall under the same catagory as it is represented here.


         SINcerely in Leather,
         Master Shadow.


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: It is as I thought, your explanation is exactly the same as the UK and I thank you for Your conformation.
May I just ask if you think This "Definition" is accurate ? as I believe it is an "Insult" to New Dominants.
Quote :-  "WANNABE (not connected with this lifestyle whatsoever!): Someone who thinks, or claims to be knowledgeable about BDSM, but is not. Especially prevalent with new Dominants!"

Answer
While it is prevelant in many new Dominants, it is not necessarily prevelant in ALL new Dominants. Don't forget, since the invention of internet, there is a slew of so called "Dominants" who have absolutely NO training, and wouldn't know one end of a flogger from the other.

So long as You know Your stuff, and not just as an "Online Dominant", but in real life, I wouldn't worry overlymuch what others say. If You have experience in the Lifestyle, then stand firm on Your beliefs, and Your training. Only time will prove the others right or wrong in this respect.

Trust is a BIG issue in the Lifestyle, and does NOT come easy. Remember, the sub/slave is literally putting their lives on the line, and so have not only a right, but an obligation to play it safe, as well as report unsafe Dominants without experience to others. It just might save someone's life in the longrun, and is better to play safe than sorry.

I hope this helps.

         SINcerely in Leather,
         Master Shadow,
         House of Dragon.