Expert: arani_CsA - 4/30/2007

Question
Hi there,
It seems that spanking is a big turn on for both my fiance (female) and I (The Secretary was a, um,  big hit...). And we've both admitted to have fantasized about SM situations.  I'd like to try a few more things, but am hesitant to go too far (can't say that gags really do anything for me).
Are there any games that you can recommend that would be good to test the waters a bit more?  Either commercially available games (we've had great luck with the Consenting Adults game), or more informal things?
Also, we don't really have any of the supplies...

Thanks!

Answer
Hello...

It's great that you and your fiance have discovered that you share a taste for, shall we say, spicier activities in the bedroom.  Personally, I think variety and adventure do a great deal toward keeping a relationship fresh and exciting.  And while you say that you're hesitant to go "too far," I'm willing to bet that the more you try, the more you will be interested in trying.

I'm personally not very familiar with games that involve S/m play, but there are some good sites where you can find such things.  (http://pureromance.com is one)  But there are plenty of things you can try that aren't too threatening, and can be done while in a playful mood.  

How about using soft scarves to tie your fiance's hands to the bedposts?  (I'm assuming you're the Top in this situation.  If not, then just do the reverse.)  Use another soft cloth as a blindfold.  Then, tickle her with a feather until she begs for mercy.  (And let her beg a little, it makes things more exciting.)  Or try infusing a little fantasy into your sex life.  Pretend that you are a pirate and she is a young village girl kidnapped and taken back to your ship, where you proceed to ravish her.  Or maybe she can pretend to be a streetwalker,  and you're the policeman who arrests her.....or who might be willing to forget about arresting her if she treats you right.  Try putting a dog collar and leash on her, and make her give you a blow-job, as she is told that she will not be allowed to have an orgasm.  Or, one night while she is fixing dinner, come up behind her and play with her nipples, ordering her to continue with what she is doing.  Reach under the table and play with her crotch the next time you go out to eat.  Use your imagination not only in using toys, but also in varying where you do it and how you do it.    

I also suggest that the two of you do a little reading on the BDSM lifestyle, if you have not already done so.  The sites I'm going to recommend talk about a lot of more "hard-core" practices that you may not be interested in, but you might also get some good ideas.  There are many lifestylers who are only interested in a little kinky play in the bedroom; not all of us are into full-scale Master/slave relationships like my husband and I.  
http://castlerealm.com
http://leathernroses.com
http://steel-door.com/Chamber.html

Have fun, but above all, be safe.  If you have any further questions, feel free to send them my way.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius