Expert: Master Shadow - 6/1/2007

Question
QUESTION: Don't know exactly where to start. I have had an online BDSM relationship and was a virgin in real life. I just stumbled on it by accident and really enjoyed it. When I met my now husband I kept it from him for a while until our fantasies came out. He actually wasn't shocked at all when I told him about all my kinks ect and was really willing to try. Now he finds that is the only thing for him. Due to circumstances we only scened as such and when we tried it 24/7 is just miserably failed. My question to you is where can we join or meet other like minded people to be able to learn more and progress more in this lifestyle together? It seems there is a lot of fantasy outside on the net but not much reality as such. I know he wants to learn more and wants to meet up with someone that can take him under his or her wing and show him some stuff but not sure how to make this happen.

I really hope you are able to help us. Will keep the more specific questions for later.

ANSWER: Without knowing the State, or area where you live, this would be hard to answer specifically. There are many websites that deal with bdsm, the Lifestyle, and munches/sloshes.

Have you tried entering "bdsm" into your search engine, then going to check out the sites that come up? Realize, that many sites that claim to be Lifestyle are nothing more than cheap porn sites, which you will discover when you go to their site, but there are many that are actually Lifestyle sites as well.

As far as the 24/7 Lifestyle, this is sometimes hard, especially for newbies who are just learning things. I might suggest CastleRealm.com, or IronGate.com to start. These are mainly information sites which can explain a lot of what you and your husband need to know to enter the Lifestyle smoothly.

You might try attending such events as Kinky Kollege, Shabiricon, Thunder on The Mountain, or several other bdsm events, where you will meet others with similar interests, and start to network with the friends you will make there.

There are also several good groups on Yahoo's Adult Group section, so that might also be a place to look. Avoid most of the chat sites, as too many phony's and lurkers abound there, and the amount of drama present on those sites isn't worth the effort, in my opinion. I hope this helps, and welcome to the Lifestyle.


         SINcerely in Leather,
         Master Shadow.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks for the information. We just currently moved to NZ (auckland).  

Answer
Here are a few of the sites I have found in the States on the Internet in regards to your needs. i hope these help. There are many mopre available as well on the net, and one, BDSMPASSION.COM is a bed and breakfast, complete with dungeon, furniture, and bdsm equiptment for the use of their guests. You might set up a "romantic" evening there, just for some fun.


www.whisper.co.nz
www.fetbot.com/Links/Lifestyle/Organizations/New_Zealand
groups.yahoo.com/group/BDSM_NZ
www.bdsm.gen.nz/index.html
members.tripod.com/~nzbdsm/ten.html
www.mybdsm.com/pages/kiore/links.shtml
www.globdom.com/newzealand
au.dir.yahoo.com/Regional/Countries/New_Zealand/.../Sexuality/?sort=lf
www.bdsmpassion.com
sg.dir.yahoo.com/Regional/Countries/New_Zealand/.../Sexuality
members.tripod.com/apexnz