Expert: arani_CsA - 10/4/2007

Question
Hello,

I do need some good advice.  I have for a very long time not enjoyed sex with my husband.  He is not at all enthusiastic about sex and despite my requests to spice things up for years he shows no interest.  He makes me feel unattractive despite the fact that I am in great shape and take good care of myself.  I want to leave him to explore this lifestyle.  I am quite serious about this.

Thanks

Answer
Hello...

The BDSM lifestyle can indeed be very exciting and very fulfilling.  There is a wide variety of options to choose from, ranging from having a little kinky fun in the bedroom to a full-blown Master/slave relationship like I have.  And everywhere in between.  There are many female dominants, just as there are male submissives and slaves.  And the number of play activities available are almost too numerous to count -- flogging, watersports, pony play, piercing, and so on.  Some people don't care for the S/m aspect at all, but enjoy a more service-oriented relationship.

My suggestion is that you do some research on the lifestyle, and all of the different forms it can take, and get a feel for what most interests you.  Some very good websites for beginners are:
http://www.castlerealm.com
http://www.leathernroses.com
http://www.steel-door.com/Chamber.html

I also suggest that you find a group of BDSM practitioners, and attend a few meetings.  You can find a listing of such groups, by state, at http://www.drkdesyre.com  Talk to some people, observe them together in play or social activities, and ask questions.  Be aware, though, that these groups are often suspicious of newcomers due to confidentiality issues -- they often have an on-line discussion group where people can get to know you before you actually attend a meeting.

Good luck to you, and take time to learn before you get your feet wet.  Be aware that it is quite possible to get hurt with some of these activities, and make sure of your personal safety as well as your privacy.  If you have any more questions, feel free to send them my way.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius