Expert: arani_CsA - 4/25/2007

Question
I am very new to the scene. I am developing a BDSM relationship where I am the dominant. This will be more of a "business" oriented interaction. The gentleman is asking me to give him a Slave Name. I have tried researching this online but haven't found any information. I would like to make a little ceremony out of it. Can you guide me? Thank you.

Answer
Hello...

Thank you for entrusting your question to me.  I'll do what I can to help you find the answers you seek.  

I think it is a fine thing for you to be learning more about the Master/slave relationship.  As I think you have already figured out, there's more to it than just having some willing person to obey your every command.  There's also a big responsibility that comes with having that person dependent on you for care, protection, and support.  (And I don't necessarily mean financial support.)

There are also different kinds of Master/slave relationships, and not all of them involve sex or S/m play.  You say that this will be more of a business-oriented interaction, by which I'm guessing you mean that he will be performing various functions of a secretary or something similar.  A couple who are very well-known in the M/s "scene," Master Jim and slave marsha, have much this kind of relationship.  i will give you a link to their blog along with a few other sites you may find of interest.

Often, this kind of a relationship is solidified by a collaring ceremony.  There may or may not be a contract, carefully negotiated beforehand and signed by both parties, which specifies the kind of services the slave will be rendering and what the Master will provide in return.  While this is not a legally-binding document, it can help the couple define their relationship.  At a collaring ceremony, the slave will vow to devote his/her life to serving the Master, and the Master will in turn vow to protect the slave and guide him/her in service.  These ceremonies can be very simple and private, or elaborate and attended by friends and family.  I'll provide a couple of links to some sample ceremonies and contracts as well.

Lastly, I would encourage both of you to become involved with a lifestyle group which meets in your area, where you can interact with and learn from other lifestyle practitioners.  Typically, these groups will meet once a month or so, at events called "munches," and will sometimes have play parties or other events.  You can find a listing of such groups, by state, at http://www.drkdesyre.com/

Advice to new Dominants from several experienced people:
http://misa.ppages.com/engelsk/domadvis.htm
Good general information:
http://www.castelrealm.com (more skewed to D/s than M/s)
http://leathernroses.com
http://steel-door/Chamber.html
http://edgeliving.blogspot.com/

Sample contracts and negotiations:
http://www.i2k.com/~leisa/contract.html
http://www.sexuality.org/l/bdsm/deckneg.html
http://www.iron-rose.com/IR/docs/cont2.htm

Sample collaring ceremonies:
http://www.castlerealm.com/library/roseritual.shtml
http://www.castlerealm.com/library/collar.shtml
http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/mssirencollaring.htm

Good luck to you and your prospective partner.  If you have any other questions, feel free to send them my way.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius