Expert: Master Shadow - 9/28/2007

Question
Hello there. I have a somewhat unusual "fetish"(if that is the correct word?) that involves elaborate fantasies involving being murdered in various ways(strangled, stabbed, drowned etc). The first question is, would this be considered an S&M related fantasy? And secondly, I would like to share these fantasies with my boyfriend, but am fearful and apprehensive. He is very open-minded, but I don't know. This may be too much for him? I hope that you will not judge me. I know that some would find these thoughts offensive or demeaning, but I can't help what turns me on. I have had these thoughts since I was a child! Watching television shows like "CSI" or "Criminal Minds" for example, turn me on sometimes. I would like to roleplay one of these scenarios with my boyfriend. I have NO desire to actually be harmed, or to harm anyone else! I want to make that clear. These are JUST fantasies, and I have no desire to act on them in "real life", but I would like to share them with my boyfriend, as we are in a serious relationship, and I do not want to have to keep this from him. By the way, I don't know whether or not this is significant, but I am 25 and he is 30 years old. Thank you for your time.

Michelle

Answer
This fantasy is not as rare as you might think. It would, in the BDSM Lifestyle, be considered fear play. So long as it is only a fantasy, and REMAINS just that, I personally don't see anything wrong with it. You will find that acceptance is a big thing in the Lifestyle, and this is no exception.

Now, as for your significant other, you would have to speak with him on that. Something on the order dome night where you are both feeling kinky, "How far would you be willing to go for me, if it didn't include anything dangerous?" might work.

It would have to involve tact, and a gentle approach, but I think if approached that way, you might have a better chance, and the fact that you would actually be in no danger, as he would be the one in charge might be a deciding factor.

I wish you luck in your exploration of your inner self, and hope this helps.



                                SINcerely in Leather,
                                Master Shadow.