Expert: arani_CsA - 12/14/2007

Question
Hi   I appreciate your reply to my last question. Yes i have only known my Master for about 4 or 5 days.This is the first time that he has done that. Question do they let you know that they don't want you anymore? or do they string you along to where you can't go and find someone else.when Masters do this it makes me feel that once they see your pic they don't want you.i want to be with my Master but he won't tell me when to come to him.

Answer
Hello...

I don't know if your Master is one of these people, and I hope he's not.  But, unfortunately, there are a lot of men (and women) on line who think it is fun to lead a slave on, collar her, and then abandon her.  Often what they do is simply move on to the next poor slave, in another chat forum or under a different name.  Then the slave is left to wonder where her Master has gone to (she is never told that he is even leaving), and why he has done this . . . often blaming herself for being unpleasing in some way.  I had a very dear friend wait for six months, certain that her Master was just sick or busy with work, when everyone else was convinced that he had done her wrong.  In the end, she was very hurt when she found out that he was indeed still around, but using a different name and with a different slave.

I don't know how you met your Master, or what he told you.  But a good Master does not just take a slave and then leave her hanging.  Yes, a Master might tell a slave that she may not contact him for a time -- perhaps a day or two, or a week -- but he will always tell her this is so, and why.  My first Master once told me that I could not contact him for a week; that I must wait for him to contact me.  But he always did contact me.  That was his way of letting me know that I was not just free to roam around the chat rooms without some sort of approval from him.

If this is, indeed, what has happened, you should not blame yourself.  Chances are that he has done this before, and will do it again.  It is the conquest that he enjoys.  Once he has a slave he becomes bored or doesn't know what to do with her, and so runs off like the coward he is.  I refuse to call such men Masters, for just calling yourself one does not make it so.

Only you can know how long you are willing to wait for contact from this man.  I know, when I was active in the chat rooms a few years ago, it was generally assumed that if a slave had not heard from her Master in two weeks, she could safely remove her own collar.  If you did so, I would post a notice somewhere, publicly, stating that you no longer consider yourself to belong to your Master (state the name you know him by), and why.  You could change your journal to make it public, and do it there.  Post about how happy you felt to be taken as his slave, and how you faithfully fulfilled all of his requirements, and that you have not had contact with him in X days.  Then declare yourself unowned and available.

Now, there is a chance that something may have happened to him.  He may be ill, or have had computer troubles, or there may be some legitimate reason that he has not contacted you.  But most Masters (even on-line Masters) will have arranged for some way to let you know of such an occurrence, either by having you give them your phone number, or some other way.  Again, only you can know how long is too long to wait.

I recommend that you find a BDSM group that meets in your area.  (You can find a list of such groups, by state, at www.drkdesyre.com.)  These groups will have a discussion forum, and have regular meetings and other events where you can meet others in the lifestyle.  You can meet prospective Masters and observe how they interact with others, and hear what they have to say on various topics.  Express yourself, and let people know what kind of person you are.  Eventually, you may well meet a man who makes you squirm with desire to serve him -- he may approach you, or you may approach him.  But you will know what kind of person he really is, and also know what other people think of him.

Again, good luck to you, dear heart.  I'm truly sorry you are having to go through this.  Feel free to write to me at any time, either here or privately at arani_csa@yahoo.com.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius