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BDSM/Questions Answered by Expert ziggy ziegler
| Subject | Date Asked |
| How to find a slave | 4/18/2011 |
| Q: My husband and I have been looking for quite some time now for a female slave to join our household. ... A: . Finding a compatible slave for you and your husband. I tell people who are looking for a partner ... | |
| M/s vs O/p? | 4/8/2011 |
| Q: i was speaking to my Sir last night about how it seems that i identify more as "property" than as ... A: Greetings Mei Thank you for your question... Its interesting how every 5-7 years there floats the ... | |
| subspace | 3/28/2011 |
| Q: I'm just starting a new relationship with a new man who is dominant. We've had a session together ... A: Greetings Cait. Thank you for your question... There seems to be a variety of definitions for ... | |
| Slave/Master/Switch - UK | 3/20/2011 |
| Q: I bookmarked this site to look at the questions and answers on here to help me with my own ... A: Greeting Harjit WOW thats a great question.....I will offer you some basic perspectives i have with ... | |
| getting started | 3/16/2011 |
| Q: I am 28 years old on Monday and I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 10 years. ... A: . I find that sometimes its best to test the waters.... through the media.. What would happen if ... | |
| i think im a master but i dont know? | 3/7/2011 |
| Q: i like to think I'm a dom in the bedroom and I've had a couple master/slave relationships in the ... A: .i hope that i can offer you some insight that will be helpful As a slave i feel it is important ... | |
| Husband wanting to learn to be a good Dominant/Master for Sub interested wife | 2/28/2011 |
| Q: I am interested in learning how to become a good Dominant/Master for my wife who is interested in ... A: Greettings Thank you for your question. There are a number of ways to get in touch with others.. ... | |
| Breaking it off with my Master | 2/26/2011 |
| Q: I was wondering if there was a proper way to end things with my current Master. We have had this ... A: I believe that as much care as we take to get into M/s relationships. There should be the same care ... | |
| New slave | 2/15/2011 |
| Q: I'm just on the start of my jounrey as it were, I'm a female sub, and can't quite escape the fact I ... A: I believe it says a great deal about you for reaching out..I know from personal experience that ... | |
| Dom training | 2/15/2011 |
| Q: ok here is my question... should a Dom that is learning how to BE a Dom be 'trained' by his slave? ... A: Historically there have been occasions where a slave has helped to teach a master about mastery via ... | |
| slave | 2/11/2011 |
| Q: I have a friend that wanted me to be his mistress, we met for drinks and played around a bit. ... A: .. First, let me say clearly, no one can, nor should they say what station or role in D/s one ... | |
| transition from sexual submissive to 24/7 slave | 2/1/2011 |
| Q: Firstly thankyou for the time you dedicate to this forum and helping people like me! i am in a ... A: First, allow me to congratulate you on finding someone compatible that you feel a passion to ... | |
| Sub with new Dom | 1/18/2011 |
| Q: I have been a sub since I was first married at 16 years. I learned from him for the 10 years we were ... A: Greetings Tiffany. Thank you for your question. In my journey as a slave i have had a couple of ... | |
| Urge to seek out a Master, but have a boyfriend. | 12/13/2010 |
| Q: i have been interested in bdsm since i was 16, im 21 now, and in the past few years i have been more ... A: Greetings. Thank you for the question. I hope i can offer you some insight. Please remember i ... | |
| my Master is considering ending our relationship... | 12/4/2010 |
| Q: My Master is considering ending our relationship because i was bad, and disobeyed severely; causing ... A: You probably will find what i have to say difficult but please know my answers are always based on ... | |
| beginners | 12/3/2010 |
| Q: My husband and I have been married for 5 years and we have been exploring our sex lives for most of ... A: thank you, Thank you for offering this question. I think more people who have kids should ask this ... | |
| can a master mistreat his pet | 11/22/2010 |
| Q: please excuse why i don't give out my first name. i have been a pet to my owner for the past three ... A: As you can imagine this type of question can be difficult to answer; mainly because i don't have the ... | |
| Submission Yearnings. | 11/20/2010 |
| Q: I'm in my mid thirties, have come out of a long term relationship earlier this year, and now want ... A: Lets take a look and see how i can help. First, i am sorry to hear of the ending of your ... | |
| D/s Punishment | 11/9/2010 |
| Q: I am an inexperienced sub in an online relationship with an experienced Dom who is 15 years older ... A: I am sorry to hear you are having difficulties. Of course my comments are based on my own personal ... | |
| Not being used | 11/7/2010 |
| Q: i married my Master 5 mths ago. It seems that He doesn't want to use me or play with me. I just feel ... A: Greetings Susan Thank you for the question. I think the thing that rings true for me is that over ... | |
| my sub dumped me | 10/25/2010 |
| Q: I met my sub a couple of nights ago, today he dumps me, what would be the best way to get him back, ... A: Greetings Jac I am sorry to hear about your struggles with your relationship. As much as i would ... | |
| We're both married | 10/17/2010 |
| Q: This is a bit of a long one, so bear with me. I'm a 51 year old female, in a vanilla relationship of ... A: Please know that I will offer my opinion based on my own experience as a slave. My opinions are ... | |
| service | 10/14/2010 |
| Q: i am just entering into a 24/7 D/s relationship with my boyfriend. We are both new to the whole ... A: Congratulations!I know that starting out can be a mixture of nervousness and excitement. The first ... | |
| correctional facility | 9/24/2010 |
| Q: where can I find a correctional facility that would enable me to live out my fantasy of being kept ... A: Hey there Tom Thank you for the question. Wowo.... loves the idea of working out a jail fantasy. ... | |
| New to this | 8/31/2010 |
| Q: my other half and I are starting a Master/slave relationship. We have been together for some time ... A: Greetings Candybar First allow me to congratulate you on your new journey into the Master slave ... | |
| slave | 8/25/2010 |
| Q: I have served my Master faithfully for over a year, but I want out. I tried to leave once and was ... A: I am glad that you felt strong enough to write for input. However, i am deeply saddened that you ... | |
| How do I learn to become submissive and my husband learn to become Dominant? | 8/15/2010 |
| Q: I am dominate in my household. I choose what we do, when we do it. But the lifestyle of a submissive ... A: Your question is one that has sparked a great deal of conversation with regards to the dominant and ... | |
| beginner mistress | 8/15/2010 |
| Q: I'm having some trouble with my sub, my sub say's that this is what he wants but yet he has a ... A: I am sorry to hear of your troubles. I hope that I might offer you some useful advice. So much of ... | |
| new | 8/9/2010 |
| Q: I am new into this scene, something I have always desired but was tired of playing the Dom role. I ... A: Greetings Crystal First congratulation on your finding someone you can let go with. I know what a ... | |
| Losing trust and respect | 8/7/2010 |
| Q: i've been in an M/s relationship for 5 year, 24/7 - i live and work with my Master who has His own ... A: Greetings J Thank you for the question and for having the courage to reach out. I recognize the ... | |
| how to be domme | 7/15/2010 |
| Q: i've recently met someone online who says it would make him happy Having a woman train him to be the ... A: Congratulations on making such a inspiring connection. I noted that you are from the uk is that ... | |
| writing a dear sir letter | 7/9/2010 |
| Q: I am to write a letter to a Dom the is considering me as his sub. He called it a Dear Sir letter. Do ... A: I have not heard of a dear sir letter... but i would imagine it is an equivalent to a letter of ... | |
| I am confused | 6/25/2010 |
| Q: I have submissive tendencies since childhood and just recently get acquainted with the term 'BDSM' ... A: I would like to answer your question... however i can not change the setting that makes this ... | |
| I am confused | 6/21/2010 |
| Q: I have submissive tendencies since childhood and just recently get acquainted with the term 'BDSM' ... A: Greetings Ricky. Thank you for the question. First, let me rest assure you there are are many ... | |
| bringing out a stubborn sub | 6/18/2010 |
| Q: I have been in a relationship with a woman for 4 years. We have had an incredible time and played ... A: This dilemma is commonly encountered and it is a testament to you as a master for asking this ... | |
| Does a slave have the right to feel hurt | 6/2/2010 |
| Q: Ok two years ago my husband (this year of 13 years) and I traveled into the realm of BDSM, I taking ... A: First let me say that it is OK to feel hurt. I subscribe to the idea that feelings are information ... | |
| I need to be dominated | 5/29/2010 |
| Q: I have known for some time that I have strong submissive tendencies. I crave a romantic and ... A: When couples start out its sometimes hard for one partner to take on a dominant role. i believe the ... | |
| Pledge to Sir | 5/27/2010 |
| Q: I am a submissive female and have been in a bdsm and loving committed relationship with my Sir and ... A: The pledge is a wonderful tool for sorting out thoughts, ideas and feelings; while sharing the ... | |
| This isn't BDSM | 4/6/2010 |
| Q: I feel silly asking this, but I also feel so very confused that I have to say something to someone ... A: Greetings Maggie First, thank you for your question. I am not sure if i have an answer for you, ... | |
| coming out of the shell | 3/12/2010 |
| Q: i am a female and have been seeing a natural submissive male 2 female transgender (who has not begun ... A: Greetings Ms Carie Thank you for the follow upI would have to agree with you about transition. ... | |
| coming out of the shell | 3/11/2010 |
| Q: i am a female and have been seeing a natural submissive male 2 female transgender (who has not begun ... A: Greetings, and thank you for your questions. First I would like to congratulate you on your new ... | |
| Beginner Slave Training | 3/3/2010 |
| Q: How do we get started? My wife is naturally submissive, she wants to please. She likes to be spanked ... A: Greetings Sir Thank you for the question. Might I recommend you begin by finding a group in your ... | |
| advice | 2/23/2010 |
| Q: i really need help in how i feel in my M/s relationship.. i love my Master so much but i tend to get ... A: Greetings nyla Thank you for your question. Not being there with you its a little difficult to get ... | |
| petitioning | 1/31/2010 |
| Q: I have been tasked to write a petition as to why i want to be collared to my current partner. I ... A: Greeting Jeri First I would like congratulate you for what sounds like a wonderful relationship. As ... | |
| new to bdsm | 1/27/2010 |
| Q: My partner says she is into being dominated. She has expressed this desire a number of times but ... A: . Please know, I do not have the benefit of being there with you and so my answers are based on ... | |
| trng | 1/24/2010 |
| Q: i am a new slave whom is failing at pleasing her Master. i struggle the most with respecting Him. i ... A: Greetings Lisa Thank you for your question and i am sorry to hear you are struggling. I hope that ... | |
| How to please my master and become more masochistic | 1/17/2010 |
| Q: I am a 19 year old female submissive new to the lifestyle, but have been actively practicing for ... A: First it is so nice to hear that the two of you are a good fit and that you are happy in your chosen ... | |
| master/slave | 1/15/2010 |
| Q: I just got into a master/slave relationship, my master lives in another state, he's married, what is ... A: Greetings ophelia. Thank you for your question. Please know that this is based on my personal ... | |
| single parenting and bdsm lifestyle | 1/8/2010 |
| Q: I am a single mother, not currently working, but going to school online. I have recently been ... A: Greetings Angel Thank you for your question. There are a few things here i would like to address. ... | |
| More interested in chores than sex | 12/27/2009 |
| Q: I am a lesbian who is new to the scene, and I was hoping you could tell me what "niche" I fit into, ... A: I have to say that i love your honesty,, i have been in service to a wondeful Mistress,,, for the ... | |
| Finding a Mater to train from submissive to slave | 12/5/2009 |
| Q: I am new to the Colorado Denver area. I have been in a Dom/submissive relationship before, however ... A: Greetings and thank you for yourMight I recommend a few things on a couple of fronts? First here I ... | |
| woundering ?????? | 11/30/2009 |
| Q: me and my wife are learning the dynamics of a dom/ sub relationship..we live in a small town very ... A: Greetings Sean Thank you so very much for the question. First allow me to say that i think it is ... | |
| slave | 11/23/2009 |
| Q: .tomorrow a slave I have been talking to is supposed to be here on a bus. what I am trying to do is ... A: Interesting question. Finding ways to establish dominance first comes from what you know about the ... | |
| How to find a slavegirl | 10/31/2009 |
| Q: What is the best way for me to find a beautiful slavegirl aged between 19 and 25? I'm looking to ... A: Matthew Create a profile on collarme.com, alt.com, bondage.com, and fetlife.com.. they are all ... | |
| Wife wants to explore with another man... | 10/23/2009 |
| Q: My wife has recently revealed to me that she wants to explore bdsm with someone else. She has been ... A: I would like to begin by saying that the root of what we do in BDSM or Dominance and submission is ... | |
| Submissive ashamed of herself | 9/18/2009 |
| Q: Am I a bad person? I truly feel that I am given the circumstances I will describe. I am a submissive ... A: First let me say, although i don't know you personally, You are not a bad person. This lifestyle ... | |
| Training a Master | 9/17/2009 |
| Q: This may sound odd, but how do I train my husband to be okay with owning me? I have a very strong ... A: Lindsey Believe it or not i get this question a lot from potential slaves. How do i train my boy ... | |
| hesitant about certain activities | 9/12/2009 |
| Q: I'm a 38 year old woman exploring a relationship with a man who'd like to be my master. He has 25 ... A: Greetings Thank you for the questions. The word no when associated with a request or order given ... | |
| Wants to be my Master so soon?????? | 9/1/2009 |
| Q: I met a man who claims to be a Dom/Master. After entrusting myself to Him and agreeing to let Him ... A: It is a wonderful thing that you have found someone for which you love and respect.. That i huge no ... | |
| New to M/S | 9/1/2009 |
| Q: Well just recently met a guy and we hit it off. Now out of the blue, because prior to going out with ... A: Believe it or not, this is a common question. To be honest i am not a fan of "the hurry up" ... | |
| Wants to be my Master so soon?????? | 9/1/2009 |
| Q: I met a man who claims to be a Dom/Master. After entrusting myself to Him and agreeing to let Him ... A: Your reservations should be listened to. I have never heard of any set time for becoming one's slave ... | |
| Sub levels | 8/30/2009 |
| Q: I was wanting to know what the lead or head slave is called? And are there sub levels in an ... A: Hey there Jody In the household in which i serve i am know as the ALPHA slave or major domo. my ... | |
| Is it possible to be submissive without knowing them | 8/29/2009 |
| Q: I've been reading blogs of submissives where alot of their submission comes from their partners ... A: . i happen to really enjoy theoretical questions ...smiles. It has been my experience that D/s and ... | |
| Where do I start as a Dom. | 8/16/2009 |
| Q: I am a male Dom who is new to the scene. I met an experience female sub that I am really into, we ... A: .. My feeling as regards to how to dominant someone begins with you sir. What is natural to your ... | |
| Looking for a mentor | 8/7/2009 |
| Q: I am a twenty year old girl going through a very exciting and enlightening period of my life. I have ... A: First, i applaud you for seeing the need to find yourself before acting on the level of submission ... | |
| finding good information | 8/4/2009 |
| Q: I am just coming to realize the truth about myself, I am submissive. There I said it out loud so to ... A: First i applaud you for reaching out for more information and for saying out loud your truth.. very ... | |
| how can I tell? | 8/2/2009 |
| Q: My boyfriend and I are both interested about BDSM but are also very very new to it. I am sure that I ... A: Linnea Thank you for your question. I can understand your confusion as to what role your partner ... | |
| top versus domme | 7/28/2009 |
| Q: Okay, I am new to the scene and want some clarification regarding the differences between a top and ... A: CJ Thanks for the question.. i hope i am able to offer you some insite.. After years in the scene ... | |
| pleasing my owner better | 7/12/2009 |
| Q: I've been going through a lot emotionaly lately and can't seem to focus on the day to day tasks of ... A: I am sorry to hear you are having difficulties. Not knowing what your are going though emotionally ... | |
| Nervous Potential Sub | 7/9/2009 |
| Q: I am very interested in the D/S lifestyle, specifically the submissve side. However, I am a virgin ... A: I very much recommend talking to other subs/slaves as a way to learning more how they feel or ... | |
| Submission | 7/9/2009 |
| Q: My partner has requested that I do research on how to be a "true sub". I have never done anything ... A: Greetings Yes i am familar with the series.. another is called the Market Place series... although ... | |
| Submission | 7/8/2009 |
| Q: My partner has requested that I do research on how to be a "true sub". I have never done anything ... A: ... Addmittedly i dont care for the term 'True sub" To me a person who wishes to submit to the ... | |
| term | 6/30/2009 |
| Q: .what does the term try and buy mean? someone used that term recently and I have never heard it ... A: The term try and buy comes from the earlier days of BDSM here in the states. A dominant might meet ... | |
| Waiting period | 6/1/2009 |
| Q: I am very new to all of this. In searching the Internet I found a man claiming to be a well ... A: Please allow me to share my experience with regard to mentoring. I am a mentor and have also been ... | |
| dom/slave relationship | 5/9/2009 |
| Q: I am new to this lifestyle. I have recently found out that my Dominant has another slave, but he ... A: I hope this email finds you well and in good spirits. Not really know you or your owner and the big ... | |
| I think my boyfriend is secretly into this stuff... | 5/4/2009 |
| Q: Ok, I'm 22 and I've been with my boyfriend for four years and we've had anal sex off and on ... A: Admittedly I had to take a moment to really think about the best way to answer your questions. I ... | |
| Dynamics of a relationship | 3/27/2009 |
| Q: I have a question about the dynamics and evolution of a relationship. It is master/slave, but I ... A: A little bit about me, just so that you have a point of referance. I am a lesbian myself. I am 45 ... | |
| shocked | 2/9/2009 |
| Q: I've recently started dating a man and we've really hit it off. He's handsome, smart, funny, rich ... A: To answer your questions I would not avail myself of someone who i found to be untrustworthy, ... | |
| "It" | 2/6/2009 |
| Q: I started serving a wonderful Dom two months ago. We live in different states and only get to see ... A: I hope I can shed some light on your inquiry. The use of the term"it" and referring to ones self in ... | |
| checking in | 1/21/2009 |
| Q: how r u doing? been reading the room, enjoyed your feedback...:-). i am well. i did something ive ... A: Fetlife is a site friends of mine created. WWW.fetlife.com It is a place to read the thoughts and ... | |
| checking in | 1/21/2009 |
| Q: how r u doing? been reading the room, enjoyed your feedback...:-). i am well. i did something ive ... A: I am well.. thank you for asking. i am allowed to talk about myself but i don't tend to do that ... | |
| taking from another dom | 1/20/2009 |
| Q: i am a lesbian and want to take a slave from a male dom. is there a proper way of doing this that i ... A: i would recommend you have a sit down with the slave and the dominant. I feel its important that the ... | |
| Watersports | 1/17/2009 |
| Q: I have heard that pee is sterile but I am not sure. I have a friend that wants to pee into my ... A: Yes, I would say that tummy legs genitals, down you back it can all be very erotic while still being ... | |
| Watersports | 1/17/2009 |
| Q: I have heard that pee is sterile but I am not sure. I have a friend that wants to pee into my ... A: Piss can be a vector for a number of communicable diseases... i would not recommend allowing your ... | |
| breaking in | 1/11/2009 |
| Q: .I have a slave coming here on the 19th of this month. what would you suggest to break her in as far ... A: Greetings James. Congratulations on your new find and thank you for the question. There are many ... | |
| Collaring and Training | 1/7/2009 |
| Q: ziggy, I am fairly new to the BDSM lifestyle. My slave and I have known each other for several ... A: WOW congratulations.. It sounds as if you have found a great match for you. A wonderful thing I ... | |
| how do i make him a master | 1/6/2009 |
| Q: i have a problem i love bdsm i love pain, sex, being a slave i have a rape fantasy i love everything ... A: Greetings Astrid Thank you for the question. What I understand of your question is that you are ... | |
| moving from one to the other | 12/31/2008 |
| Q: my question is this. i have been in the D/s life for a couple years now. i was with Someone and in ... A: Greetings Kim Thank you for the question. Lets see if I can shed some light on your question but ... | |
| True Submission | 12/15/2008 |
| Q: . I've been married for a year and a half to a man who is very interested in the BDSM lifestyle.. ... A: I hope this finds you well and in good spirits. Thank you for offering such interesting questions. ... | |
| Renaming | 12/7/2008 |
| Q: What is the signficance of a Master giving his sub a new name? A: Greetings Yolanda Thank you for the question. Let me see if I can give you my perception of this. ... | |
| where do i go from now? | 12/2/2008 |
| Q: i recently got involved in a master slave triangle with one of my mates. This began with a month of ... A: Greetings TT I completely understand.... i started in the scene back in the early 80s and there was ... | |
| where do i go from now? | 12/2/2008 |
| Q: i recently got involved in a master slave triangle with one of my mates. This began with a month of ... A: Greetings: Thank you for the question. If I understand you correctly, you had an agreement with the ... | |
| Newbie | 11/21/2008 |
| Q: We are a married couple new to BDSM. My wife has submissive desires and we have been playing for 3 ... A: Not to worry about the length of your e-mail, I am happy to read it and respond. First, right where ... | |
| mentorship, household management, and training | 11/20/2008 |
| Q: I am a Sadist, and have been in the lifestyle now for over 3 yrs. I currently own 3 slaves (1 ... A: Its sounds as if you are off to a wonderful start. Being authentically who you are naturally puts ... | |
| Lashings versus Markings | 11/18/2008 |
| Q: I have been in a D/s relationship for over a year now. I am sub. I am a painslut and can take ... A: A very interesting question you pose. As you know, the body is an amazing thing. From a ... | |
| SecondLife BDSM | 11/6/2008 |
| Q: . I have been a sub/slave for about 4 months. My questions are: is it normal for Master not to ... A: Please allow me to address each one individually: 1. Is it normal for Master to not reveal his ... | |
BDSM
Answers by Expert:
ziggy ziegler
Top Expert on this page
Expertise
I am available to answer questions pertaining to the Master slave dynamic. The slaves journey into submission, mentorship, service,leather lifestyle, household management, and training. My life's focus is assisting individuals to realized their fullest potential through self awareness.
Experience
I am a 45 year old female slave who has been part of the BDSM/M/s lifestyle since 1983 and have traveled thought out the community presenting on a wide variety of subjects pertaining to the master slave dynamic. I am currently writing a book on topics concerning the slave. I also host a slaves retreat in TN each year which focuses on the self actualization of the consensual slave. Mentoring and life couching for those involved in power exchange relationships.
Organizations
TES
MAST ROCHESTER NY
MAsT national
Publications
Slave quarters: "The mind body spirit of consensual slavery"
Art of slavery
Tryscilian society
Education/Credentials
Aside from learning from lifes experiences i have a BA in psychology and a masters in socialogy. i have studied gender and human sexuality in an ever changing world.
Awards and Honors
Southeast slave 2006
International slave 2006
Past/Present Clients
Masters and slaves
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