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BDSM/Questions Answered by Expert Eirene Nayar
| Subject | Date Asked |
| Spanking aftercare | 4/28/2010 |
| Q: My husband and I have decided to add a little flavor to our marriage and one of the things we are ... A: In BDSM spanking is used to induce pain and sometimes even leave marks. I can recommend for you no ... | |
| Collar to a married man | 4/21/2010 |
| Q: I have been in this lifestyle for 5 years now. The first 3years to a single Gorean Master who ... A: I have been thinking about your question the last few days. I feel your pain intensely. This is ... | |
| Talking with a Domme | 4/20/2010 |
| Q: I've been talking to this domme in email and she keeps asking me "how you would best serve me." I ... A: First off, unless asked don't mention what *you* are into. That was not her request. And the ... | |
| Gifts | 4/19/2010 |
| Q: First let me say thank you for your response about pleasing my Master (4/2/2010). Your insight and ... A: Its good to hear all went well and that my ideas before helped. Ideas for gifts (very appropriate ... | |
| How do I please my Master | 4/2/2010 |
| Q: I am very new to the lifestyle. I met my Master online and have yet to meet face to face. He lives ... A: New relationships have the constant crackle of excitement take advantage of that. *smiles* You do ... | |
| Revised Question | 4/1/2010 |
| Q: Here is my question in a more discrete format I have been married to my wife for 6 years. The ... A: I am so sorry that all of this is happening for you. The reality is that we cannot make anyone do ... | |
| Married and confused | 3/31/2010 |
| Q: I have been married for 5 years and just recently have been told by my wife that she wants to engage ... A: Polyamory means "many loves" and can be profoundly satisfying when it is understood and accepted by ... | |
| BDSM as a relationship solution | 3/29/2010 |
| Q: My husband became impotent 2yrs ago due to an accident. Along with the impotence is a significant ... A: i have been thinking a lot about you since i received your question. Your choices and circumstances ... | |
| Conflicting emotions | 3/17/2010 |
| Q: I'm sorry if after reading this you feel that my submission was tedious but some advice from an ... A: First let me commend you on the way you committed yourself to your Master’s service. Your devotion ... | |
| Male submissive | 3/15/2010 |
| Q: Eirene, This is a great web site. I have always had questions about the bdsm or, actually, loving ... A: I am glad you found the site, it is a nice one. Some others you might be interested in is one ... | |
| Enjoying BDSM | 3/9/2010 |
| Q: I'm a 26 years female, single and virgin. I think so so much about BDSM as it turns me on, could you ... A: There is so much left out of your question you make it difficult for me to answer. I know nothing ... | |
| he loves me | 1/26/2010 |
| Q: im new to this lifestyle and am still working on if its rite for me. my new Master after just 2 mo. ... A: Being a new submissive can be a very scary thing at first. I would suggest talking with your Master ... | |
| need some serious advice | 1/22/2010 |
| Q: I have know this man for 10 years, while I was married to my current x. It was platonic, but there ... A: No, this is not normal behavior in any kind of open honest relationship. His secrecy is alarming to ... | |
| Novice Sub | 1/17/2010 |
| Q: I have my first Master. He is very stern and I love it. My question is it okay to fall in love with ... A: I think its a natural progression of the M/s relationship that the sub loves her Master. In my ... | |
| owner vs Dominant | 1/2/2010 |
| Q: Might i ask Your opinion please of the difference between and Owner and a Dominant A: My opinion is that a person can be a Dominant and not own anyone. An owner usually owns another ... | |
| finding a master/ mistress | 12/29/2009 |
| Q: i want to find a master/ mistress. do you know anyone who might fit the job or an idea on how i ... A: No person could or should chose a Master/Mistress for another person. Its such a personal meshing ... | |
| Finding a truly caring Mistress | 12/21/2009 |
| Q: I've been married for 22 years. We live a typical life; fast paced, children involved in everything, ... A: You are far and away *not* hopeless. There are many great Mistresses out there as well as bad ones. ... | |
| Being Collared | 12/12/2009 |
| Q: I am just being brought into the lifestyle, and last night I was collared. I'm very excited, but ... A: Yes, you jumped in way to fast. Being collared is a serious serious choice that should be made ... | |
| picking a punishment | 11/11/2009 |
| Q: I am new to D/s. I have met with my Master once....for a playdate a while back...like 6 months ago. ... A: You do not mention if this is to be a "play" punishment or a very real punishment. If something ... | |
| girlfriend not into bdsm lifestle | 11/7/2009 |
| Q: so I've been exploring the bdsm scene for a few years now, started out with biting and spanking, but ... A: I suggest first of all you need to decide how important the BDSM lifestyle is to you. Is it just ... | |
| newbie | 11/1/2009 |
| Q: Recently met a Dom who is married, wife is vanilla. He introduced me to the sub lifestlye. Realized ... A: First of all welcome into a lifestyle that has so many rewards in store for you as you continue. No ... | |
| New Sub needing guidance | 10/28/2009 |
| Q: I am completely new to this entire world. My Master, is someone that I trust 100%, so that is the ... A: You leave out so much that it is hard for me to answer specifically. You do not mention what the ... | |
| D/S relationship is not the same as it was | 10/22/2009 |
| Q: I hope I am asking the correct person, and if I haven't, I apologize. Currently I am a submissive ... A: The first thing I want to say is I am so sorry you are hurting this way. A healthy D/s relationship ... | |
| "Breaking" bad or good? | 9/27/2009 |
| Q: I am new to this lifestyle. I am very interested to get advice from someone who has a hands on ... A: In regards to sub drop...are you doing aftercare after intense scenes? This helps greatly in ... | |
Answers by Expert:
Eirene Nayar
Top Expert on this page
Expertise
In a deep bonded Master slave relationship you submit yourself..body, soul, heart...everything. Not in one day or even a couple months..its a gradual progression. And the more you give up to your Master the happier and more carefree and more devoted in service you will become. You will not "loose you" you will find you. Everything else falls away to reveal the true you..unprotected by the walls needed in conventional society. You will feel more free in your bondage of slavery then you ever did in the vanilla world. All the dreams your heart ever searched for come full circle and a sense of peace and completeness pervades your body. I can help you with the discovery of learning if this life is right for you. Issues with the dynamics of the Master slave relationship. How to be the very best slave. How to know if a Master is the right fit for you. Dealing with the heartbreak and emotions when the relationship ends. How a polyamory household can work. What it means to accept a collar. Slave protocol. Long Distance relationships. How to take an online relationship and make it real life.
Experience
I have been a collared slave for over 2 1/2 years. I started knowing nothing at all and have built on this over that time. So my experience is through actual experience. However I also remember what its like to be knew to the lifestyle. With all the fears, anxieties and excitement that has.
Education/Credentials
I have a bachelor's degree in sociology.
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