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BDSM/Questions Answered by Expert Oscar G.
| Subject | Date Asked |
| How to "claim" an available slave | 10/21/2010 |
| Q: I am rather new to this and want to know how to "Claim" an available Slave. Is it assumed as part of ... A: The claiming per se involves two parties. You and the claimed one. But i believe in some circles it ... | |
| degradation a meaninful thing testing my trust? | 10/5/2010 |
| Q: I have a story, not a question, more like, the feelings that I have for the dominant who i have ... A: Sorry for the delay to get to you. But your question elicits a reply immediately. In this case ... | |
| Long distance Punishments. | 9/12/2010 |
| Q: Recently me and my master have been trying to think up some LD punishments for me. sadly we have had ... A: Ms Kitty: Apologies for the delay since i was out of country and incommunicado. With long distance ... | |
| Improving My Relationship With My Fiance | 8/24/2010 |
| Q: I enjoy being dominated, and I'm trying to find a compromise that doesn't interfere with my fiance's ... A: The issue here it is him and his mind. The only way I can suggest different ideas or point of view ... | |
| Spanking Edge Play/ Punishment Spanking | 8/22/2010 |
| Q: My female partner and I are both into rather light BDSM play (mostly spanking). She's the domme ... A: The trick here is pacing and slow build up. Ramping up intensity slowly is key to achieve that ... | |
| Online Master/Slave Relationship | 8/21/2010 |
| Q: In this world of online gratification or lonely hearts searching...I find that I have become one of ... A: Your situation is not unique and there are many more complicated situations in the world. Yours ... | |
| Sometimes, name calling can be difficult. | 8/18/2010 |
| Q: Im rather new to the whole Femdom scene, and Ive got a new parter who is completely sub. He loves ... A: I am not the type of Dom that likes humiliation, so my advice will come from imagination or ... | |
| slavery | 8/13/2010 |
| Q: I'm a 38year old male that has dreamed of being a full time slave.My question is I found a dom and ... A: The realities of relationships is that you never know how ell it will work until you try it. So part ... | |
| true torture | 8/10/2010 |
| Q: Why do some guys love using urethral sounds and say it feels good, and others say it's the worst ... A: It all amounts to tastes of the individual and also to the enjoyment of the first experiences of any ... | |
| Tasks And Endurance during a scene | 8/9/2010 |
| Q: I've been in a relationship with a girl who enjoys "Pain Play". I've never been much into this (I've ... A: I believe that perhaps the ideal play for what you seek would predicament bondage ... | |
| Break ups | 8/5/2010 |
| Q: Recently, my boyfriend of three months broke up with me. This would have already been tragic, but ... A: Usually the emotional questions are a bit harder to answer since all the intellectual and physical ... | |
| first time sub falling | 7/29/2010 |
| Q: I am new to bdsm...have been spending lots of time with one Dom. I am experiencing new sensations ... A: That is the main reason why casual playing of BDSM is not recommended at all since all feelings and ... | |
| Temporary online domination | 7/29/2010 |
| Q: I can not meet my sub for weeks. So we try to do scenes online. But it is getting harder and harder ... A: Usually your desires and imaginations are the best way about how to go about things you could play ... | |
| Ginger oil | 7/26/2010 |
| Q: I have bought several hands of ginger root over the years, and after peeling and carving it, only to ... A: The issue you seem to mention may be one of sensitivity and perhaps threshold of sensation. But more ... | |
| Sparking the D/s Element in a Dom who's seemed to lose interest. | 7/25/2010 |
| Q: My Boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now. We met on a type of personal site under ... A: The situation is very emotional and different from what it was before you started this relationship, ... | |
| (new)Master/p | 7/14/2010 |
| Q: right now it is done on a sight that i have been on for years ,i am Master's pet Moons ,i am having ... A: This is a sensitive aspect of the relationship that should have been talked about before you ... | |
| New Comer | 7/6/2010 |
| Q: I came across a friend of mines secret love of BDSM and his collared Sub one day whilst surprising ... A: The best source is books and Internet. These days there is thankfully a plethora of information in ... | |
| can u help ? | 6/24/2010 |
| Q: my wife is interested in performing some femdom acts. we need a free pdf book where we can find over ... A: I was not able to find a whole book in PDF per se, but i found a few links with very useful ... | |
| Becoming Dom | 6/18/2010 |
| Q: I am 21/f my new boyfriend (8mo) is 21/m virgin. I have been his first for everything and we havent ... A: The best way these day and age is read. Unless there are local BDSM organizations that could teach ... | |
| Sub-Sub relationship | 6/17/2010 |
| Q: (Female) Heya I have been dating this guy for about 2 months but have known him for two years we ... A: Fun/Funny situation to be in. However the best advice on 'how to be dom' is somewhat relative. First ... | |
| should i dump him? | 6/10/2010 |
| Q: I met this guy, really nice, sweet and handsome. Dressed well, in graduate school, has a good job ... A: This question has nothing to do with BDSM, but will try to give you an answer. If he has treated ... | |
| 'coming out' | 6/8/2010 |
| Q: (male) Hi. I've been going out with my girlfriend for nearly a year now. I'm secretly an extreme ... A: If you are sure she is Dominant/Top, then you should feel safe to tell her at least that you are ... | |
| new to the lifestyle | 6/5/2010 |
| Q: im 36 and married to a guy who was in past heavy into bdsm lifestyle and had a bdsm relationship ... A: He likes what he likes, and perhaps you may want to please him, but it would be only in regards to ... | |
| Are Penis Gags More Breathable? | 5/28/2010 |
| Q: my girlfriend and I are going to a special themed dance party and wanting to put a bondage gag on ... A: People could argue that you can breathe around the gags, but also depends on the size of the mouth ... | |
| I think I'm a sub and my husband is too. | 5/26/2010 |
| Q: I apologize for what may be considered a long and roundabout approach to my questions/issues. ... A: More that submissive you may be a bottom, that is to say a person on the receiving end of BDSM. But ... | |
| new &n love | 5/23/2010 |
| Q: I am new to this community, my Dom and I meet online through a dating site almost a year ago. I did ... A: Even if this deals with BDSM is not excuse to be treated with lies or dishonesty. Being submissive ... | |
| new &n love | 5/16/2010 |
| Q: I am new to this community, my Dom and I meet online through a dating site almost a year ago. I did ... A: More than a BDSM question this seems to me like a dating question, but with the elements of BDSM in ... | |
| Satisfying my Sir | 4/9/2010 |
| Q: I recently discovered that my partner was cultivating a relationship via text/emails with a sub and ... A: I certainly think talking and sharing your fantasies and REAL feelings and desires would be the they ... | |
| spanking the privates | 3/29/2010 |
| Q: what is the best way to go about spanking the genitals of a sub? both the penis and balls of a male, ... A: Arguably females can be easier to spank genitally than males. Penis itself can be spanked and ... | |
| Introduction into lifestyle | 2/25/2010 |
| Q: I apologize if this question has been answered time and time again, but I am at a loss. My husband ... A: It is all a question of communication of expectations. And sharing of fantasies. Relationships Do ... | |
| 24/7 with new Master | 2/9/2010 |
| Q: I am a new 'slave' and my Master of about 6 weeks (mostly online with one 4 day meeting) wants to ... A: Is this was not a 'Master'/'Slave' situation would you still do this? Would you open the door of ... | |
| Branding question. | 1/31/2010 |
| Q: My Master is planning to brand me eventually, but I'm a little nervous about the area. We want to ... A: In this particular case I am not that extremely intimate with branding more than tattooing or ... | |
| new to bdsm | 1/27/2010 |
| Q: My partner says she is into being dominated. She has expressed this desire a number of times but ... A: It is a bit problematic when both partners cannot communicate their needs and both are newcomers. ... | |
| self exceptance | 1/23/2010 |
| Q: I have been aware of my submissive self since i was ten years of age, i never new what it was about ... A: I know many people started experimenting on their own at the onset of their awareness and self ... | |
| Collaring ceremonies | 1/20/2010 |
| Q: Is there a website where I can get the proper way to conduct a collaring ceremony ? A: There may be many descriptions out there just by a judicious use of Google. However you will find ... | |
| becomeing more of a dom | 1/11/2010 |
| Q: when dealing with a submissive ???? my submissive tells me that she is comfortable with with the ... A: The point here would be to figure out her HARD limits. Not so much figuring out how and what she ... | |
| Naming my new full time slave | 1/8/2010 |
| Q: I am in a F/f M/s relationship and making it official next month. What I would like to know is how I ... A: It would be far from me to tell what or which name to use. But i could at least point you to ideas ... | |
| Punishment? | 1/7/2010 |
| Q: My partner and I are new to the lifestyle...we're still just dabbling and this has all happened ... A: Well, one thing is what she says in the heat of passion and another while not in play and in cooler ... | |
| curiously... possibly... maybe I might be a submissive? | 12/6/2009 |
| Q: Please forgive my slight ignorance to the correct verbiage, my apologies if I do in fact convey ... A: In a few short answers before elaborating on it. Yes you may be submissive. Yes you are in touch ... | |
| Confused | 11/20/2009 |
| Q: i have recently started the D/s lifestyle and i meet my Dom W/we both hit it off well but i have not ... A: Depending on the time that has passed since you last talked and the intensity/quality of the ... | |
| BDSM | 11/5/2009 |
| Q: Experimenting with this, have met a sub online and I'm not sure how to "handle" him, have asked for ... A: Well the sky is the limit as to what you can ask. As long as limits are respected. But what ... | |
| sub- slave | 10/27/2009 |
| Q: I was very much interested in becoming a slave to dominant mistress. The problem is that i am ... A: Since you have internet access, it would be better for you for people who are already in a lady that ... | |
| training sub | 10/14/2009 |
| Q: .possibly will have a sub female here. could you give Me some workable ideas on how to break her in ... A: Training and "breaking" is a relative concept. It is based on her willingness to go along with your ... | |
| Daddy Doms | 10/13/2009 |
| Q: I recently have become acquainted with a man online who calls himself a Daddy Dom. I had never heard ... A: Sadly yes. It IS possible that you just don't have the same definition of love. And i do not think ... | |
| Guilty - Daddy Dom... | 10/9/2009 |
| Q: Question I have what I guess some people call as a Daddy/Daughter Kink. TO me it feels like more ... A: Your is a very heartfelt letter/question and it affected me somewhat. I guess your question would be ... | |
| Erotic Humilation | 10/6/2009 |
| Q: Six months ago I hired a 26 year old young women to work at my company (Maryam) and over the past ... A: Sorry for the delay, but i had to give this a bit of thought because of the length and topic. ... | |
| Types of Masters | 9/27/2009 |
| Q: I had bookmarked a website someone had given me describing the different types of masters. There ... A: I may not be of much help with you having the proper right name and type of the Doms you describe or ... | |
| substitutes for nipple clamps | 9/26/2009 |
| Q: I have been asked to wear nipple clamps but do not have any could you advise on a safe substitute ... A: Usually something and simple as a laundry pin (used to hang cloths up to drying a line) would be a ... | |
| Getting into the scene | 9/25/2009 |
| Q: I would consider myself a Dom, and have been enjoying this role across my last few relationships. ... A: What you call as 'psychological Dom' is the purely mental aspects of Dominance and Discipline. Here ... | |
| Advice for Ministers | 9/18/2009 |
| Q: Let me just start by saying that I don't see BDSM as anything the Bible prohibits. My husband is a ... A: My heart goes out to you since you both seem genuine honest people with the best of intention toward ... | |
| My Husband is vanilla but curious... | 9/12/2009 |
| Q: I have been in the BDSM lifestyle for quite a number of years as a submissive. Only recently, when i ... A: You have come across what could be called a point of debate among BDSM people. Are people naturally ... | |
| master/slave | 9/9/2009 |
| Q: in the world of master/slave is there a week celebrated for masters.... i was looking at a site to ... A: In my own experience i do not know of such a thing as "Master's Week". If it came from a cards site ... | |
| master/slave | 9/5/2009 |
| Q: I'm a young woman, and very new to the lifestyle My master, who is 15 years my senior, has been ... A: You painted yourself in a corner, so to speak. And then you realized this is not the color you ... | |
| Sub/Dom Knife play | 8/27/2009 |
| Q: I am male, 29 heterosexual with limited experience. My friend is an experienced sub and we have ... A: In this type situation I would call for total balance and control. Both of you being new to ... | |
| Curious vanilla | 8/24/2009 |
| Q: I am completely new to anything BDSM. I initially came across it purely from reading stories on ... A: While not totally correct, you are not wrong in your statements. There can be certain level of ... | |
| sub with switch boyfriend | 8/2/2009 |
| Q: I am submissive and my boyfriend is a switch. However, he tends more towards a submissive, but I ... A: You should explain the situation to him and your needs. Maybe he will understand and take more on ... | |
| Dom Sub Training | 7/23/2009 |
| Q: We are both interested in developing a Dom sub relationship and have discussed taking a class to ... A: The BDSM as skill, lifestyle, dynamics and interaction is more accessible than ever. Besides taking ... | |
| crying | 7/8/2009 |
| Q: First a little bit about us….into what some would call soft bdsm, fun mainly reserved for the ... A: I think the question should be aimed at her. To find out if there is any kind of past abuse or ... | |
| Dealing with the outside world's view of me | 7/4/2009 |
| Q: I will start with a little background on my relationship before asking my question. I met my Daddy ... A: Without having to lie or make up stories or excuses, you should refrain from giving answers. ... | |
| Bdsm resorts | 6/24/2009 |
| Q: I am recently new to this. My partner and I have a long distance relationship.We are looking for ... A: Unknown to me if specifically there are BDSM resorts per se in Michigan And/Or Tennessee. However, ... | |
| one-time domination | 6/22/2009 |
| Q: I'm a sub married male, whose wife is not interested in it, and I'm getting together with a good ... A: Best option if to talk it out. Communicate. See what each like, and have in common. See the ... | |
| I have a Daddy's Little Girl Fetish and I want my husband to FOR REAL discipline spank me | 6/22/2009 |
| Q: I have a Daddy's Little Girl fetish. To make a long story short, I want my husband to discipline me ... A: I would say that the distinction here for BOTH OF YOU would be to keep sex play as play and ... | |
| Homemade Suspension Equipment | 6/4/2009 |
| Q: Oscar - Thank you very much for taking my question. I am fairly new to bondage, but I have been ... A: Most of what you need you may find in a decent mega hardware store. The trick would be to set it up ... | |
| help !!!!! | 6/2/2009 |
| Q: me and my wife are some what new to BDSM she is a sub begining training to be a slave !!! i am ... A: Is it defiance or is it something else? Since you are both new to the BDSM elements, you should ... | |
| experimenting | 5/29/2009 |
| Q: approx a year ago i met a guy who things just clicked with immediately. i knew he was in to ... A: Experimentation is seeing what suits you best, in my opinion. And you have just started. You will ... | |
| First BDSM experience | 5/29/2009 |
| Q: I have recently entered into a D/s relationship, I am the submissive, this is my first experience ... A: Since your master is the one who leaves marks and does NOT want to play more often with you, it is ... | |
| Daily tasks and chores for sub | 5/24/2009 |
| Q: My sub and I are fairly new to the lifestyle and I'm having difficulty coming up with daily tasks ... A: I believe the best tasks and disciplines are the ones that improve self or others and instill good ... | |
| creative ideas, activities and punishments | 5/14/2009 |
| Q: Not really sure how to start this, but me and my Master have been together for about 3 or 4 weeks ... A: At this point the expectations may be a bit different than from when you began, or you have evolved ... | |
| Scabbing on Nipples | 3/20/2009 |
| Q: After sex play with a lot of twisting, pinching, and clamps on my nipples, they sometimes look like ... A: Sometimes blood does not need to come to come out through open wounds, but crushed capillary veins ... | |
| bdsm | 3/9/2009 |
| Q: I am relatively new to the bdsm-lifstyle but love it. I see myself as a Dom/Master (okay ... A: As you realized by now the online world is highly flaky. Each person is different, and they all have ... | |
| shocked | 2/9/2009 |
| Q: I've recently started dating a man and we've really hit it off. He's handsome, smart, funny, rich ... A: Lots of info, but basically simple stuff to consider. IF you are 100% the site is his and the ... | |
| Old Guard Doms | 1/29/2009 |
| Q: Do you happen to know the 7 rules of the old guard Dom? thank you A: Usually the so called Old Guard was the Gay Leather Man community. In the book 'The Leatherman's ... | |
| is my Dom having and emotional affair? | 1/16/2009 |
| Q: i am a 36 yo female submissive, this is my first D/s relationship. My Dom and i have been married ... A: Then I am really baffled. And counseling seems to be the answer in this case if he is not initiation ... | |
| is my Dom having and emotional affair? | 1/16/2009 |
| Q: i am a 36 yo female submissive, this is my first D/s relationship. My Dom and i have been married ... A: Over reacting? No, not really. However as many good things you have toward each other and with each ... | |
| CBT | 1/14/2009 |
| Q: Basically, what is it? What does it stand for and what can I expect if I subject myself to it? ... A: Short simple question short simple answer. CBT stands for Cock & Ball Torture. In another words ... | |
| Looking to be used often and by many men. | 1/8/2009 |
| Q: Is there anywhere I can offer myself as a sex slave to many men or a Master? I am female. A: Please do not go half planned into something this intense and serious. If you seek to serve multiple ... | |
| I dont know what to do | 1/2/2009 |
| Q: Not that i judge or fear it i just have never had an interest in it.The reason i am here is that my ... A: I know surprise is the factor here and you do not want to spoil it. But at this time perhaps you ... | |
| where can I train to be better at domination? | 1/1/2009 |
| Q: Sir, I am married to a wonderful woman for 9 year now and we have mutually expressed a desire to ... A: You both seem to have the right intention and goals, but a bit of mental fine tuning perhaps needed ... | |
| Unsure of how to approach the idea of subspace? | 12/20/2008 |
| Q: I'm a female submissive, currently in a relationship with sadistic male dominant. However, here's ... A: You both being new to BDSm could excuse him a bit of not knowing. Yet being extreme in activities ... | |
| What went wrong? | 12/17/2008 |
| Q: I have met this guy online about a month ago.I am 30 and a female, he is 37.Unfortunately we are ... A: Notice the details and subtext. He may care and developed feelings. But as i said before she was ... | |
| New | 12/17/2008 |
| Q: I have recently been introduced to the world of D/s. We are both new to this so tend to get a bit ... A: I had answered to you before, yet my server erased the message I had written before, so i will try ... | |
| Games with Chairs... | 12/15/2008 |
| Q: , Next week, I'll finally see my girlfriend again after a long time of absence. Of course we ... A: Well while not exactly original, the answer to you query may rely on not sitting her in the usual ... | |
| What went wrong? | 12/15/2008 |
| Q: I have met this guy online about a month ago.I am 30 and a female, he is 37.Unfortunately we are ... A: I am sorry to hear what happened, yet given the nature of the "relationship" it was bound to ... | |
| bdsm with a couple | 12/7/2008 |
| Q: i am currently a 24/7 slave to a couple. however, in my 6 months of being here, i've been treated as ... A: Since you do not hint at the gender of the other person whom you got closer to, I will attempt to ... | |
| Husband submissive, wife is not do | 11/25/2008 |
| Q: I ask this question for a very good friend of mine who is having problems in the relationship with ... A: It is indeed a complex topic and situation on both counts. I would suggest perhaps read more on the ... | |
| travel | 11/20/2008 |
| Q: .recently on collar me, i found a guy in england who has slaves that he needs to release; his reason ... A: When it is too good to be true is usually is a scam. So beware. Circumstances aside, I serious doubt ... | |
| New Dom/me | 11/19/2008 |
| Q: Where can a new Dom/me find info on setting up scenes and such ? I've noticed almost everything, as ... A: The best answer is to follow the sub advice in reverse. Set up those situations for them, if you are ... | |
| finding an owner | 11/14/2008 |
| Q: hello my name is Matthew i am bi sexual when i was 16 i had a master but when i moved here to Ohio ... A: Living in the midwest is a bit harder for alternate lifestyle. But the best way to search is the ... | |
| Enemas plus electrical play | 10/25/2008 |
| Q: i love enemas and electrical play. Since water and electricity have a history, do you know if it's ... A: The problem with water is the fact it is fluid. As such leakages and distribution problems may occur ... | |
| Usually sub but my Dom wants me to dictate.. | 10/17/2008 |
| Q: My husband is in Afghanistan, but frequently checks up on me. He dictates to me through email or ... A: I would suggest to perhaps try stuff on him that he has done to you. That would be perhaps the ... | |
| relationship | 10/11/2008 |
| Q: I met this girl last month, her name is Shelby, she has blue eye's, red hair. I am her master now. ... A: You call yourself her master, bust did she agree to become your slave? Was there a written or agreed ... | |
| Someone who understands | 8/31/2008 |
| Q: ..this is much appreciated!!!!! Background: I am a male master, 55 yrs old The slave I am talking ... A: Pardon my delay, yet I had to give the matter some thought. Regarding # 1: Perhaps she was not a ... | |
| BDSM | 7/7/2008 |
| Q: I like to be claimed by men. I am a lesbian but really enjoy the danger of being taken! Where could ... A: The fact of your gender orientation might either turn off or entice too much certain guys. But the ... | |
| grin | 6/12/2008 |
| Q: At school, everyone knows me as a sweet, innocent, kind, friendly, fun girl. I'm also a virgin. So ... A: I am not sure this qualifies as a BDSM type question. And it barely fits within the realms of dating ... | |
| How a person become interested in BDSM? | 5/1/2008 |
| Q: How a person become interested in BDSM? From Birth? Environment? or Both of them? In my case. I did ... A: That is a "chicken or the egg" issue, since many people will tell you they had the drive and ... | |
| Unruley sub/babygirl | 4/1/2008 |
| Q: "This is more like a issue I'm having rather then a question , I'm going to explain as much as i can ... A: Subs and even other Dominants forget we are all human and we are not perfect. Some Dominants like ... | |
| Unruley sub/babygirl | 3/31/2008 |
| Q: "This is more like a issue I'm having rather then a question , I'm going to explain as much as i can ... A: Sir Dean: Your story strikes close to home since I had a situation similar to yours at some point. ... | |
| confusion | 3/25/2008 |
| Q: I am a 24 year old male from England. I am quite a good looking lad and don't really have any ... A: Even if you like and fantasize about submission and service to a strong woman, that does not mean ... | |
| new to being a slave | 3/18/2008 |
| Q: I am new to this, my partner has been in this lifestyle for 11 years and desires to make me the best ... A: Attitude is everything, but also acting and showing your attitude in the right proper ways. You ... | |
| Hola pregunta de marca! | 3/4/2008 |
| Q: Hola Oscar G. Espero estes bien, tengo una pregunta y la hago en español por que dice que puedes ... A: Saludos Carlos: La pregunta deberia ser mas a ella que a mi, ya que la que sabe es ella y yo solo ... | |
| virgin Master? | 2/26/2008 |
| Q: Is being collared by a virgin is as rare as it feels to U/us? He is 22 and i am 19. When i was ... A: Virginity is a double edged sword. In one hand is something to be treasured and appreciated by the ... | |
| Armbinders/Singlegloves/Monogloves | 2/20/2008 |
| Q: I have been searching the web high and low for a place I can purchase an arm binder such as the one ... A: While I had not seen the site for a while now, I remember Ledermeister as high end high quality ... | |
| I want to make my wife my slave | 2/16/2008 |
| Q: i Want to have my wife at my feet beging to let her lick my feet. How can i do that A: As simple as asking her. But then again the dynamics must be established about who is in charge and ... | |
| Armbinders/Singlegloves/Monogloves | 2/10/2008 |
| Q: I have been searching the web high and low for a place I can purchase an arm binder such as the one ... A: I have seen several of these on different models and I happen to own one in spandex (very ... | |
| online bdsm and christians | 2/5/2008 |
| Q: i am a 51 yr ole married female and i have been in online bdsm for past 12 yrs...my hubbie is ... A: I would be the last person judging you on having fun and exploring new feelings and sensations. If ... | |
| spanking | 1/29/2008 |
| Q: Que bueno que usted habla espanol que es mi primer lenguage. Recientemente he estado experimentando ... A: Querida Gabriela: Cada cabeza es un mundo y realmente lo que le gusta a algun dominante maduro, no ... | |
| bdsm question | 1/23/2008 |
| Q: i was invovled with the lifestyle for some time now i am deeply in love with a vanella woman and i ... A: I am not sure about the whole story and how it relates to her, another domme and the guardian. But I ... | |
| Punishment at a Distance | 12/1/2007 |
| Q: Alright... Here's the basic situation. My sub (I would describe her as a Gorean slave) has recently ... A: Sorry for the delay with the holidays. Humiliation is a very relative thing for each individual. ... | |
| Figging | 11/3/2007 |
| Q: i am a gay sub my dom wants to try figging he has tried figging with a ginger , but he want to pur ... A: It is my first rule of play for it to be safe. Some people are hardcore play very hard. But even ... | |
| Dating a Sub girl | 10/16/2007 |
| Q: I recently met a girl who I like quite a bit and she is a bisexual sub into pain and bondage. I'm ... A: If you feel you are capable of being on the dominant role without being against your nature, by all ... | |
| Where to begin? | 10/1/2007 |
| Q: I find myself attracted to the idea of BDSM. I want to be a Dom, but have absolutely no idea where ... A: The main subdivisions are within the abbreviation "BDSM" itself:Bondage & Discipline (B&D), ... | |
| Where to begin? | 9/28/2007 |
| Q: I find myself attracted to the idea of BDSM. I want to be a Dom, but have absolutely no idea where ... A: All valid questions and need to be addressed. The thing is to go by parts and answer a few questions ... | |
| master & slaves | 9/1/2007 |
| Q: i just found out that my wife is wanting to seperate and is talking very heavly with a master she ... A: The issue is a bit muddled since i do not have too many details. But from what I gather she has ... | |
| bdsm, Dominate to Dominate protocol | 8/27/2007 |
| Q: i am a 43 year old, straight, female submissive, fairly new to the lifestyle, still learning i am ... A: There are no hard and fast rules in how to deal in a circumstance like this. But "common sense" ... | |
| submission | 8/25/2007 |
| Q: I've been with my husband for ten years. In the last three years I've realized that I have a need to ... A: Having those more specific details I could say that perhaps a 3rd person could work, specially if ... | |
| submission | 8/25/2007 |
| Q: I've been with my husband for ten years. In the last three years I've realized that I have a need to ... A: It is indeed a complex situation. And there are no easy answers. 24/7 is an all-encompassing ... | |
| Switch day | 8/23/2007 |
| Q: i am and have been in a long distance relationship with a Dom in the UK for the last 3 years. ... A: To elaborate a bit more on some points: 1.-If you want to make him squirm: Dress him with your ... | |
| Switch day | 8/23/2007 |
| Q: i am and have been in a long distance relationship with a Dom in the UK for the last 3 years. ... A: Just of the top of my head. Ideas to play with: -Make him dress up to you liking (not his) while ... | |
| single, kinky, and going nuts II | 8/17/2007 |
| Q: While there is a fetish community in my area, I am averse to joining. Even if nobody actually has ... A: Often enough venting out and letting stuff out is the first step in a fresh point of view or a break ... | |
| single, kinky, and going nuts | 8/15/2007 |
| Q: Maybe this is more of a cry of frustration than a question... I'm a 27 year old girl. I have known ... A: There is always room for compromise. But takes time and patience to find not what we want but what ... | |
| age and D/s | 8/2/2007 |
| Q: I am in the first month of a D/s relationship.. I am collared, and we're in love. I gave up most of ... A: Not all relations have that big of a gap in age. Some have worked and others have not. And other ... | |
| a question on protocol | 7/6/2007 |
| Q: I have been a Sir for some time now but have never followed many of the formal rules of M/s protocol ... A: First I must apologize about my delay to contact you, since the holidays got on the crossfire. While ... | |
| New to BDSM, but my fiancee is new to sex entirely! | 6/21/2007 |
| Q: . I've been interested in BDSM for as long as I can remember and only had one small experience in ... A: The only way to do it depends on his personality and temperament. If he is intellectual and ... | |
| submission | 6/19/2007 |
| Q: Do they have actual places you can go to to learn/explore/train/grow in submission? I am new to ... A: I am aware of the limitation of BDSM workshops and outlets outside larger cities. It is somewhat ... | |
| diarrhea after anal play? | 6/17/2007 |
| Q: i've recently started to like anal play -- butt plugs, fingers, and my partner's very large and ... A: It is not uncommon that happens specially with such larger object inserted. After all it stretches ... | |
| ageplay | 5/31/2007 |
| Q: Im a 20 year old female and after a long seperation from my paartner who is a 24 year old male- we ... A: It is a complicated mater. But i will give you my own opinion. It all depends on what he needs to do ... | |
| D/s Protocol | 5/17/2007 |
| Q: I am a 61 y/o collared sub to a Dom 21 years my junior who was a sub for over 20 years. We are not ... A: The military background is useful and at times flattering to those who have not been in the ... | |
| beginning bdsm | 5/10/2007 |
| Q: i'm 23 and recently realized that bdsm might be what i'm looking for out of a sexual relationship. ... A: You are quite perceptive in your questions and i will try to give you the best advice to get you in ... | |
| S&M, noise and location. | 5/7/2007 |
| Q: I am a novice Domme and I am going to engage in some noisy activity very soon... and I don't have a ... A: Greetings Ms. Emma: At times we do not have much control of some situations as we would like to ... | |
| Complicated BDSM relatiion | 5/4/2007 |
| Q: I will bless you and thank you a lot to have your advice So here it is: About Me: I am 25 ... A: Complex question indeed. My best assessment is not to give her ultimatums and chose a good time to ... | |
| BSDM | 4/29/2007 |
| Q: I have a husband who I can't satisfy, the more I dominate him the more he wants. He is the dominate ... A: You need to dig into his mind and see what limits (if any) he has. If you want to please him and ... | |
| hot oil or cream | 4/18/2007 |
| Q: I've been instructed to purchase or, preferably, make a hot oil or cream that intensifies in heat or ... A: Usually the best stuff, non chemical would be Capsaicin based creams. Basically stuff with the stuff ... | |
| Long Distance | 4/10/2007 |
| Q: My girlfriend likes to be dominated and is into pain. I now lie on the other side of the country and ... A: Well, having dealt with distance at times myself I have found out that chat on line helps a lot, but ... | |
| long term bondage | 4/8/2007 |
| Q: my wife/mistress and i live the bdsm lifestyle 24/7. my wife/mistress wants to keep me in tight long ... A: Any tingling sensation or numbness from limbs or extremities after tied and/or immobile for a while, ... | |
| Homemade BDSM Gear Project | 4/6/2007 |
| Q: I recently read where a guy made a homemade Sybian type vibrating fuck machine out off a 15,000 rpm ... A: Although I can imagine that there might be some techie type out there who could build their own ... | |
| How can a sub train her dom? | 3/23/2007 |
| Q: I am a sub in a loving, fulfilling, stable relationship with a dom-at-heart. Even though not all ... A: The best way to intellectually/mentally make him see your point of view , id that you are pleasing ... | |
| What is she up to/how to prepare for it? | 2/28/2007 |
| Q: Every Weekend for the past three months (just about), I have been helping my girlfirend with ... A: I am assuming certain things,such as enjoying bondage as a sub, and you enjoying your situation. My ... | |
| need help | 11/30/2006 |
| Q: i hope u can help me, could u tell me names of movies which have bdsm,domination theme, prefrebly ... A: Here are the most notable films in the last 3 decades, some are documentaries. I may have missed a ... | |
| question | 11/29/2006 |
| Q: my name is Steve. I am a 29 year old submissive male who's into soft bondage only. I am not into ... A: BDSM is a big umbrella term and realm that cover a lot of stuff. It is nice to know you have defined ... | |
| Can one do both? | 11/29/2006 |
| Q: Oscar Thank you for taking the time to answer my question. My boyfriend and I have been together a ... A: I always love experimental couple finding each other through their lovers. Here is your situation: ... | |
| duct tape | 11/28/2006 |
| Q: i love to use duct tape for bondage, but when i use duct tape to gag, it rips off your hair. how do ... A: There are couple ways to use tape without rips. One is to wrap the tape over clothing, handkerchief, ... | |
| Female Submissive for a BDSM Couple | 9/14/2006 |
| Q: I met my master/lover recently. I have never practiced the BDSM lifestyle before and so I have some ... A: I am so happy you have a loving partner and you want to please him in such ways. There is a lot of ... | |
| Technique | 9/14/2006 |
| Q: I been looking on the internet alot and see alot of pictures of girls breast with rope around the ... A: The best rope technique you can use is SHibari, or japanese bondage. They do concentrate a bit on ... | |
| sexual issue | 9/3/2006 |
| Q: my name is dana.i find out lately sexual needs from my boyfriend that he is crazy about my feet ... A: At thsi point you need a whole book on the mind, technique and psychology or BDSM. If you search ... | |
| need to know | 8/31/2006 |
| Q: , pls give me some advic thank youhaloo my name is alma iam a happy girl with my boyfreind and our ... A: Re Hi ALma: the best way to make feet smell is sneakers, sweat and closed shoes. What to do with ... | |
| need to know | 8/30/2006 |
| Q: haloo my name is alma iam a happy girl with my boyfreind and our relation is perfect, it just ... A: Nothing is wrong with these type games as long as you remember pee/urine is ineherently clean and ... | |
| advice | 8/30/2006 |
| Q: "hi,,i wish you can help me ,, how to make my boyfreind happy or satisfied his desire if he have a ... A: Make him get you the type of shoes he likes you to wear. That will clue you in the styles he likes ... | |
| advice | 8/29/2006 |
| Q: its it weird my boyfrind ask me to test my pee and how do deal or do that and he is crazy about my ... A: Nothing is wrong with these type games (also called golden showers) as long as you remember ... | |
| advice | 8/29/2006 |
| Q: ,plss i need to knowhi my name is mag iam just a normal girl i think i have an problem or an issue ... A: Re Hi Mag: As I said before... for feet let him buy you some shoes he likes for you and from ... | |
| advice | 8/27/2006 |
| Q: , i notes he is not fully satisfied with me on the bed and he always mention and talk about my feet ... A: Well Mag, you seem to describe your boyfriend having a serious foot fetish. ANd do not worry it is ... | |
| being spanked | 7/17/2006 |
| Q: I'm a 28 year old male. I have done some spanking play before but nothing that would be called ... A: It is a very interesting question to rise, but a valid one. But i would say experiment and find ... | |
| Re:Spanking | 7/1/2006 |
| Q: do you know anything about spanking girls? what are some spanking techniques that work well? A: Once you have a willing partneryou have to decide what style an form of spanking would be ... | |
| Age and slave issues | 6/10/2006 |
| Q: Well as an intro, I'm a 20 year old dom, bi male that lives with his best friend and ex-boyfriend. ... A: I can really relate with what you write. When I started learning BDSM with a girlfriend and my own ... | |
| sitting pee | 5/24/2006 |
| Q: do you know any way to make a male have to sit to pee. for example harnesses or hoses. do you know ... A: Took me a while to find them, but look on the web under male Chastity devices and you may find what ... | |
| scenerios | 5/23/2006 |
| Q: sorry to be blunt about this but i have a BDSM session with my boyfriend on saturday. could u give ... A: Blunt is Ok. <smile> Feminization can be fun if yo both enjoy it. But newer scenarios depend on more ... | |
| BDSM | 5/17/2006 |
| Q: Im 18 years old and my bf is 16. Well we love BDSM, we use all sorts of things and are pretty ... A: The best way to find other BDSM people is the same source that sometimes is used to find BDSM ... | |
| master week | 5/3/2006 |
| Q: i would love to find out when master's week is? A: The only Master's week I know is golf related in Augusta GA. BDSM wise I am not informed of any ... | |
| questions for a potential master | 2/24/2006 |
| Q: I am new to the scene and I dont want to make any hasty choices or jump into something i am not ... A: I was considering your question, when I realized you have to answer a few questions yourself before ... | |
| Long Distance Consideration | 1/24/2006 |
| Q: I am under consideration at this time. i like to show my Master my loyalty, my honesty, my heart. It ... A: If the communication between you and your potential master is good you should find out his desires ... | |
| spanking | 11/10/2005 |
| Q: I am a 45 yr old female that has always wanted to be put over someones knee and spanked or whipped ... A: Finding men is easy for women, but then again finding good men is harder. Yet even more so to find ... | |
| There's a man i'm interested... | 9/13/2005 |
| Q: There's a man i'm interested in. actualy a lot of women are intested in him. But I'm tons cooler ... A: Well... about dancing around each other it if up to you who will take the first step. About ... | |
| leather ball gags | 2/10/2005 |
| Q: I have a young lady who is eager to wear a ball gag but women usually have small mouths and most ... A: Sorry for my delay. Here is a good link you might find useful for all kind of nice gags, some ... | |
| chloroform porn | 1/23/2005 |
| Q: Oscar, Thanks for your help. It really helped talking to someone who has a kink to assure that ... A: Sorry for the delay I had to work out of town. Just to be clear. His kink is ok, just his refusal to ... | |
| chloroform porn | 1/21/2005 |
| Q: ------------------------- Oscar, Thanks for your reply. I did not know he was into BDSM. I am ... A: Sorry for not being faster onmy follow up, but here I am. You have very valid concerns and good ... | |
| chloroform porn | 1/21/2005 |
| Q: I accidently discovered a hogtied membership on my boyfriend's computer four months ago. He was ... A: There are multiple items that have to be questioned independently and from there try tomake sense of ... | |
| Spirituality and BDSM | 11/26/2004 |
| Q: Hey Oscar, I'm currently writing a short film revolving around spirituality and BDSM, but I want ... A: I am not too aware about specific sites devoted about the religious aspects of BDSM. But there are ... | |
| hypnosis | 9/9/2004 |
| Q: With all modesty, I consider myself to be good at oral sex (I've been told that I am by other people ... A: Here is some info I found that could help you. Some people are uncomfortable performing fellatio ... | |
| hypnosis | 9/8/2004 |
| Q: Recently I chatted with someone in a chat room, and he said he is into control via hypnosis, and ... A: TAKE any claims of anyone in a web chat room with a grain of salt <smile>. While it is is possible ... | |
| Keeping Girlfriend Safe | 8/25/2004 |
| Q: My best friend, who covered my back in a couple of wars overseas already, is the man we have talked ... A: Not much thought needed here and i happened to be on line to reply faster. My best advice is to ... | |
| Keeping Girlfriend Safe | 8/23/2004 |
| Q: I am 32 male, with 26 Female. Bother of us are heterosexual. I am 6'3" 225 pounds, she is 5'2" 115 ... A: Sorry about the delay, but your answer required a bit of thought on my part. It is nice to see a ... | |
| slipknots | 8/8/2004 |
| Q: what exactly is one how are they tied and are they more difficult to escape from than other knots? A: Sorry about the delay. Moving a household here... Slip knots are usually referering to knots that ... | |
| Beginner... | 7/18/2004 |
| Q: I've always been really interested in bondage, but I've never experimented much with it. I told my ... A: Good for you guys! I love new couples exploring with bondage. ALways romantic and fun. My answer ... | |
| therapist ?? | 6/13/2004 |
| Q: I am looking for a licensed, professional counselor, therapist, or psychologist that is familar, and ... A: If you absolutely require to have a face to face counseling I would suggest to join any of the local ... | |
| Meeting a partner for BDSM | 9/28/2003 |
| Q: and thanks in advance for reading this question! I'm a 17-year-old guy who is a high school ... A: I apologize before hand for my delay to answer your question. I am twice your age and still your ... | |
| bonnadge | 6/29/2002 |
| Q: i want to thank you for your help i just want to know when i tie her in silk what should i use to ... A: I apologize I was delayed on my answer to you. I was getting ready for the holiday weekend and did ... | |
| bonadge | 6/26/2002 |
| Q: hello i have ben tieing a women up she seems to like it she will go to sleep then i will do it i ... A: If she is talking about what you do is good for her, keep doing it. But do you want to add more? ask ... | |
| how to find in-houseslave girl | 5/5/2002 |
| Q: i am looking for an in-house slavegirl, and have tried many sites to locate one, or to put an ad for ... A: James: Sorry for my delay answering. I have had mixed results with alt.com. That site like man ... | |
BDSM
Answers by Expert:
Oscar G.
Top Expert on this page
Expertise
From simple curiosity to elaborate scene set up and planning as well as technique, gear, link, advice, opinion, facts and reference among other colleagues. Social, spiritual, romantic and emotional issues related to BDSM Bondage being my focus and specialty, but love the sensual aspects of these arts.
Experience
15 years researching, reading, interacting, dating and playing in the BDSM lifestyle actively as a Dom, used to be sub.
BDSM, Bondage, gags, blindfolds, knots, ropes, restrains and roleplaying
Publications
N/A
Education/Credentials
Engineering & Military
Awards and Honors
Military and respect from my peers in the BDSM community
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