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About Master Shadow
(Top Expert on this page)

Expertise
Can answer your BD/SM Lifestyle questions regarding flogging, caning, paddles, whips, scening, fear play, wax play, sensual knife play, humiliation, fisting, anal, violet wands, clamps, cbt, ice play, books, breathplay including blood chokes, cuffs, collars, furniture, collaring ceremonies, links, gags, toys and other items used in the lifestyle, Will not answer questions regarding medical advice in regards to the Lifestyle. I am a sadist, married to a Domme, who is also a sadist, am the owner of two, in a poly relationship, and enjoy the 24/7 lifestyle.

Experience
31 Years experience in the BD/SM Lifestyle.

Organizations
Terre Haute S.I.N. Social Interaction Network (CoFounder).

Publications
Alt Magazine, on "Honor and Respect".

Education/Credentials
, Member of The Dungeon Monitors Association, as well as The Violet Wand Guild, and life experience.

   

You are here:  Experts > People/Relationships > BDSM > BDSM

Questions Answered By Expert  Master Shadow 
In Category  BDSM

SubjectDate Asked

girlfriend into dominatrix10/16/2009
  Q: yeah my gf doesnt like it when i do that to her, but when she does it to me i just love it, but she ...
  A: I'd say it's time for some serious conversation, to find out EXACTLY what each of Y/you like and ...
contacts9/28/2009
  Q: I'd like to ask a practical, and maybe a fairly common question. What would be an ideal place to ...
  A: Alt may be commercial, but as far as their chat goes, I've not seen anything better, so it seems You ...
BDSM9/13/2009
  Q: I always dreamt of BDSM. Now I found a girl who likes domination. where can we get BDSM tools I mean ...
  A: I would check online at such places as The Stockroom, or the like. There are many reputable dealers ...
Collar vs being owned8/2/2009
  Q: What is the difference between being TRULY collard and being owned?
  A: That would depend on the individuals involved. To some, the collar, even though a nice visual ...
how can I tell?8/2/2009
  Q: Me and my boyfriend are both interested about BDSM but are also very very new to it. I am sure that ...
  A: I would say it's time for some exploration of each other for a while. Try both ways, with you as ...
others.7/21/2009
  Q: How do I meet people who are also interested in this life style, I'm 16 and new to this side of me. ...
  A: Leanne, At 16, it's a little too early for you to be exploring "This side of you", ...
taking pain7/18/2009
  Q: I am wondering how I can become able to take more pain when Master is spanking me or biting me. I ...
  A: Time, and use will do that. The skin toughens up over time when scening, resulting in ...
candle play7/16/2009
  Q: i've been interested by the use of hot candle wax latey and i just want to ask how safe is it? I ...
  A: Depends on the candles. Paraffin are best, as they burn at a lower heat than other candles. Avoid ...
Curious/confused7/14/2009
  Q: I started online chatting in Dec of 08, I ran across a dom/mentor I was curious and he said he teach ...
  A: Zola, give me a bit to think on this, as it IS complicated, and needs have the proper amount of ...
bdsm/feminization7/4/2009
  Q: Me and my girlfriend are curious as to why I enjoy and feel the need to dress as a woman even to the ...
  A: Doggie style would be preferable, in my opinion, and offer the most ease of control between the two ...
responding to femalesub ad6/30/2009
  Q: i 'm a novice that just starting to explore my bd d/s lifestyle responding to a femalesub personal ...
  A: I would attend a slosh or munch in your area, and get to know what the Lifestyle is all about before ...
Coming open6/30/2009
  Q: To start, I'm 18 and have had a BDSM lifestyle for just over two years now. I was...initiated, I ...
  A: Personally, I would speak with Him, and find out for sure, instead of wondering. That way, you can ...
serving and illness6/30/2009
  Q: i have been on chemo for 16 weeks. i have 8 left. im not doing the radiation but i am on the meds. ...
  A: This is hard to answer. I would NEVER suggest smoking pot for the effects of stopping nausea, and ...
Ballbusting6/29/2009
  Q: My boyfriend seems to think I would very much enjoy kicking him in the nuts. He thinks I really ...
  A: Here's a repost from a sight called Fetlife that You might find interesting. You can find the ...
D/s relationship dilema6/29/2009
  Q: I have been in the lifestyle a year, I have known I am a submissive for 20 years, I am with a Dom 2 ...
  A: It may be that it's time to seek a new Dom. If this Dom/Master is Not fulfilling your needs, ...
Dealing with the outside world's view of me6/28/2009
  Q: I will start with a little background on my relationship before asking my question. I met my Daddy ...
  A: When dealing with the outside world, and it's judgements, it's important to remember how YOU feel ...
slave auctions6/27/2009
  Q: are there any actual slave auctions anywhere,where i could "buy" a slave who has put herself up for ...
  A: While I do know there is a site called slaveauction.com(Or at least there was at my last visit), the ...
Christianity and D/s6/24/2009
  Q: Good afternoon, this is probably a strange question but I wish to ask it anyway. I am a Christian ...
  A: There are a good many groups on the Internet, like: www.christiansandbdsm.com ...
I have a Daddy's Little Girl Fetish and I want my husband to FOR REAL discipline spank me6/22/2009
  Q: I have a Daddy's Little Girl fetish. To make a long story short, I want my husband to discipline me ...
  A: Explain that this is an inner need of yours, and that to ignore it, and pretend it doesn't exist ...
curious6/21/2009
  Q: I've seeing this guy and so far we have a good relationship. He's older than me and has done the ...
  A: It is many things to many people, and to try here to explain it all would take too much time, and ...
try and buy6/20/2009
  Q: .was wondering what the term try and buy means in this lifestyle. just got an e mail from a slave ...
  A: While I am not familiar with the term, it would seem to me to be an invitation to try out the slave ...
need some advise6/17/2009
  Q: i just got a 3-Prong Anal Speculum to use on my slave to help stretch and keep her open other then ...
  A: Jello! Flavor is Your choice, but make sure the coloring in it doesn't give a migraine to the ...
Kuffs6/16/2009
  Q: I was searching for the website Kuffs and castlerealm when I came across your Q&A on castlerealm so ...
  A: All I get when I go there is a Logo for Gefin. Your guess is as good as mine, friend, but W/we hope ...
bdsm/feminization6/11/2009
  Q: Me and my girlfriend are curious as to why I enjoy and feel the need to dress as a woman even to the ...
  A: A light enema would clean you out, and prepare you for anal play with your Mistress. Use something ...
Collaring and BDSM6/10/2009
  Q: Ok well me and my love have been kind of dabbling in to the pet and master relationship and we want ...
  A: I would suggest HouseofCollars.com, which has a fine selection of 24/7 collars that are waterproof, ...
collared sub switch master6/7/2009
  Q: The man I fell in love with is currently collared by a couple...He has requested the collar ...
  A: Pretty much the rules and guidelines are varied, as no one plays the same as anyone else. Those are ...
submissve6/7/2009
  Q: I am a fairly young girl, and I discovered porn and chat rooms a few years ago. The subject that ...
  A: Personally, I would just play into the fantasies you've been using already, but add more to it, more ...
collared sub switch master6/4/2009
  Q: The man I fell in love with is currently collared by a couple...He has requested the collar ...
  A: There is only one way I can figure that you could wear your Master's collar, and that would be for ...
castle realm6/3/2009
  Q: after being out of the lifestyle for sometime, i see that castle realm no longer is online - is ...
  A: CastleRealm.com seems to be down for the count. I have no idea what has happened to Lord Colm, but ...
relationship ???6/2/2009
  Q: I am a learning dom and well i am haveing som difficulty!!with my sub/wife..With the way she acts ...
  A: Sounds to me as if she's waiting for You to TAKE the control. I would sit down with her, and find ...
finding a sub5/23/2009
  Q: how can i find a female sub willing and wanting to play
  A: Start by attending sloshes and munches in your area would be my first choice, depending on Your ...
finding the right Dom and what types of Doms are there5/19/2009
  Q: i recently came to the realization that i am submissive person. a Dom i met online told me that he ...
  A: There are many types of Doms in the Lifestyle. There's Sadists, Those into mainly the control ...
appropriate gifts....5/19/2009
  Q: i am soon to be collared and have never been to a collaring ceremony. i would like to present Master ...
  A: Much of this would depend on the Dom, and His particular likes. Something tasteful, and special from ...
Begging5/5/2009
  Q: I'm fairly new to the area of BDSM but I have play with toys and things in the pass. I recently ...
  A: Begging is more an art form than anything else, and like art, must, in order to be acceptable, come ...
New to this lifestyle and want to know some tricks I can use..5/4/2009
  Q: I want to start by saying "Thank you" to you and all your colleagues on this site for all the great ...
  A: Congratulations, and welcome to the Lifestyle. You're in for an exciting time! As far as the ...
take two: earning back a collar4/23/2009
  Q: Master Shadow, i read with interest Your answer to an earlier question about earning a collar back, ...
  A: kelly, for letting me know the outcome. I am very happy things have worked out so well for you, and ...
my comm4/22/2009
  Q: sir, i am frm india..... as u know here we dont have the custom of bdsm.... i have this feelin ...
  A: There is a growing bdsm community in India, as it becomes more and more popular with those there. ...
take two: earning back a collar4/21/2009
  Q: Master Shadow, i read with interest Your answer to an earlier question about earning a collar back, ...
  A: I am very familiar with the situation you find yourself in. I have been there myself in my past, ...
24/7 relationship between 3 people4/18/2009
  Q: first of all, i must warn You that i'm not sure how long this will be..i will do my best to keep it ...
  A: It sounds to me as if the Mistress is jealouse, and didn't really want this in the first place, but ...
How to control my feelings towrds BDSM and related Activities...?4/16/2009
  Q: am a person with more fantasies like dominating women and being dominated by them etc...Now a days i ...
  A: There are meditation techniques available to help with this, as well as techniques where you gently ...
New to BDSM4/14/2009
  Q: I am just coming into this lifestyle as a submissive and I was curius to know how I am to train to ...
  A: Jennifer, first off, I'd do some research online. Try a site like Gloria-Brame.com, or one of the ...
Earning a collar back4/13/2009
  Q: I hope you can help me. I was collared to my Sir for about a year, knew him online for 1.5 years and ...
  A: It sounds to me as if your Master isn't really interested, and is using this as a way to get you to ...
cbt and pain4/12/2009
  Q: I am young gay man who is slave to a much older man (dad/son relationship). He is sadist while I ...
  A: Anything I could tell you in regards to slapping the cock and balls would be relative, in regards to ...
How to control my feelings towrds BDSM and related Activities...?4/9/2009
  Q: am a person with more fantasies like dominating women and being dominated by them etc...Now a days ...
  A: You could marry someone with the same ideas in her head as you have in yours. My wifwe and I are ...
tasking4/7/2009
  Q: I am in a D/s relationship where in point of reference were have reached the the level to address ...
  A: As far as blogs concerning kink go, I would try alt.com, or another site, which is a teaching and ...
very sad4/5/2009
  Q: I have underestimated my Master and tested boundaries I shouldn't have, pushed limits that shouldn't ...
  A: The real questions are have you told your Master any of this yet? And secondly, have you learned ...
gorean3/23/2009
  Q: ~~kneels~~ I have been set a task by "sir" (have not earnt the right to call him Master) Sir ...
  A: I have found both these sites to have a lot of knowledge on Gor, and it might be of some help to you ...
Can there be subspace and subdrop out without pain3/15/2009
  Q: I have noticed that when I scene without pain being inflicted. I reach a state of mind that is very ...
  A: Quite honestly, yes. The human body releases several chemicals into the bloodstream during a scene. ...
Both new to the lifestyle3/12/2009
  Q: Both my Master and I are new to the lifestyle, and I am a 24/7 slave. We both are trying to learn ...
  A: Since CastleRealm is down, with no possible date of return available, the only site I can recommend ...
We're both new to this, but he feels inferior. Help.3/10/2009
  Q: So, I'm scared to ask my parents (in the Lifestyle as well) about this. I'm 20, and since I was ...
  A: The feeling of "Topping" isn't new in these instances. The reason He feels inferior is due to His ...
subs/slave overseas3/9/2009
  Q: I am located overseas.. and specifically in the Mideast.. not bad place.. good corporate ethos.. ...
  A: I am not well versed in the Internet overseas, nor sites there, unfortunately. There may be some ...
Nipple clamps and weights3/5/2009
  Q: Master Shadow: I have a question regarding nipple clamps and weights. I have yet to find clamps that ...
  A: Personally, I would suggest Clover Clamps, originally from Japan, I believe. They have a hinge ...
Disobedience & Punishment2/26/2009
  Q: I've been with my Master for 3 1/2 years now and during that time we've had no disipline problems at ...
  A: I would agree that release for such an infraction sounds extreme to say the least. Perhaps there is ...
tattoo for Master follow-up2/24/2009
  Q: my Master is planning on getting me tattooed this summer with a kanji symbol for "private ...
  A: Sorry, puppy, that I do not. Perhaps you can find someone to help design a symbol suitable for your ...
tattoo for Master2/12/2009
  Q: my Master is planning on getting me tattooed this summer with a kanji symbol for "private ...
  A: There are Japanese symbols for Master, Owner, and the like on the Internet, and many tattoo parlors ...
dating a kink2/10/2009
  Q: There are many layers to the question I have so here goes. I'm a 30 year old in my first ...
  A: The question is, did you know this BEFORE getting involved? If so, then it may be up to you to ...
shocked2/9/2009
  Q: I've recently started dating a man and we've really hit it off. He's handsome, smart, funny, rich ...
  A: Honestly, I would leave, and never look back. This guy obviously has issues, and who knows how deep ...
sub2/8/2009
  Q: i would like to be owned 24/7, and used as meat for my masters pleasure , but how will i go about ...
  A: Look up local bdsm clubs in your area, and see if they hold munches (Like an informal dinner), or ...
silent treatment as punishment1/23/2009
  Q: i have bpd and 2 nites ago began having thoughts and feelings that were irrational like M/ doesn't ...
  A: This IS rough. I would approach your Master after the punishment is over, and let Him know, ...
Marking of a sub/slave1/22/2009
  Q: I have heard from a couple of different people a couple of different guidelines or versions of ...
  A: Marking of a slave can be anything the Dominant chooses, although most will allow for input from ...
CBT1/20/2009
  Q: I am a new Domme and have recently started practicing CBT with my sub. I have been reading up and ...
  A: I would suggest instead the ErosTek Remote Controlled E-Stim, with training modes. It's a little bit ...
bad session1/9/2009
  Q: greetings Sir Shadow, how does bebe, forget a bad session, with ex-master? bebe, has a Master, and ...
  A: For that, I have no ideas of where to go for help. Perhaps someone near you who holds sloshes and ...
how to get compete fisting1/9/2009
  Q: i am an experienced adult male sub for at least 10 years. i have experienced and greatly enjoyed all ...
  A: First off, I'd get some medical anal dilators. They come as sets, with each size gradually larger in ...
temporary dongeon1/6/2009
  Q: i live in a house that i do not own. i am fairly new to this scene and would like to know if there ...
  A: I have modified Our doorways before, with the addition of four 1/4 x 4" eyebolts, two on the top of ...
Sub seeks advice on potentially unhealthy relationship.1/6/2009
  Q: I'm new to the BDSM scene. I have a problem, and unfortunately since I was introduced to it by my ...
  A: Personally, it sounds to me as if your Mistress is getting you to do the work the Mentor had given ...
First Real Impact12/30/2008
  Q: I am 27 Years old and I have been fantasize BDSM in all its ways the sexual one and extreme one, I ...
  A: I would start out lightly, bare handed for the spanking, taking time every now and then to keep Her ...
bad session12/29/2008
  Q: greetings Sir Shadow, how does bebe, forget a bad session, with ex-master? bebe, has a Master, and ...
  A: This is a question only you can answer. You know your Master, and how He thinks, I do not, although ...
Newbie12/28/2008
  Q: Greetings Master Shadow, i am new to the lifestyle,met someone on a dating site and shared with him ...
  A: As far as books go, anything by Jack Rinella, or Jay Wiseman would be in order. SM 101 by Jay ...
bad session12/25/2008
  Q: greetings Sir Shadow, how does bebe, forget a bad session, with ex-master? bebe, has a Master, and ...
  A: In a case like this, time, and loving care and understanding from your Master will go a long way ...
nipple clamps12/24/2008
  Q: Is it ok to take the pain away to use nipple clamps when inserting large anal toys? I find it helps ...
  A: That is perfectly fine, as long as the clamps do not stay longer than twenty minutes. Any longer, ...
Newbie12/23/2008
  Q: Greetings Master Shadow, i am new to the lifestyle,met someone on a dating site and shared with him ...
  A: I can answer your questions, but you would need to be more specific in details. Please send me ...
New12/17/2008
  Q: I have recently been introduced to the world of D/s. We are both new to this so tend to get a bit ...
  A: Sounds as if what You seek would be more of a Daddy/daughter type of BDSM relationship. This is more ...
a depressed Dominant12/15/2008
  Q: I am having difficulty pinpointing the exat problem here, so bear with me if this isn't as coherent ...
  A: Ok. You must first realize that being Dominant has absolutely NOTHING to do with whether or not a ...
enema play12/14/2008
  Q: I am gay young man and my master enjoys anal sex. We like it clean and do enema using warm water ...
  A: Personally, I feel that enemas, even just warm water enema's should not be done more than once a ...
Information on BDSM for beginners12/7/2008
  Q: I use to be involved in BDSM,, but once I realized it wasn't based on love. I fled.. and yet, I'm ...
  A: To be honest, with the exception of CastleRealm.com, which seems to be extinct, I haven't seen a ...
your opinion12/4/2008
  Q: .writing to get your opinion and advice. recently on collar me there was a guy in england who is ...
  A: There's no real way to know for sure until/if the person shows up, but in my opinion, you just got ...
establishing12/3/2008
  Q: .soon I will have a slave here as a live in to serve both domestically and sexually. in order to ...
  A: Seems to me that the first order of business, besides the whipping, of course, would be to ...
anal sex and cbt12/3/2008
  Q: I am 26 yo male who is a slave/submissive to a 56 yo man. We met on the net a year ago and it is ...
  A: As far as the cock beating, a cock, while it can take a lot, can be permanently damaged should the ...
symbolic communication11/22/2008
  Q: I am doing a report on bdsm adornment, specifically jewelry type objects that communicate through ...
  A: There are a great many symbols available to the BDSM community that signify a Lifestyler, be they ...
ball slapping11/2/2008
  Q: a few months ago i was away on a business trip, feeling horny i went to an escort website and got an ...
  A: Although I would go were I you, I would also provide my own strapon. There is no way you can tell if ...
Punishment10/20/2008
  Q: Do you have any suggestions for punishing a non-masochistic submissive? ANSWER: There are many ways ...
  A: Actually, in scene "punishments" are NOT punishments, but rather scening. In my opinion, it is ...
gags10/19/2008
  Q: I was wondering if there are any gags that can convert noise (screams or moans) into another sound. ...
  A: As far as I know, there are no gags of this kind yet made, although one that sounds like a sheep ...
how to submit for the first time10/10/2008
  Q: I have played with a Dom in the past, but he was not very well versed (natural talent without ...
  A: Personally, I keep the sex and bdsm separate as much as possible, for personal reasons. I would ...
Punishment10/9/2008
  Q: Do you have any suggestions for punishing a non-masochistic submissive?
  A: There are many ways to punish a non masochistic slave. The worst, in my opinion is the silent ...
collar or contract10/8/2008
  Q: i am new to all this but am sure i am a slave! i have a wonderful Master who is training me and He ...
  A: To be quite honest, there isn't a whole lot of difference between being owned with contract and ...
New relationship in D/s10/5/2008
  Q: I have been in the lifestyle for 8 years but until a year or so ago started exploring more of the ...
  A: Paddles (Used moderately, but repeatedly, until the ass is bright red), and real light "sting" type ...
conflicting urges10/3/2008
  Q: I am a 22 guy who is really confused. ive been having sex with both men and women since i was 16. ...
  A: Personally, it sounds to me as if you are a bisexual, sub/switch, male with a leaning towards ...
serivice9/17/2008
  Q: I am considering becoming the slave to a man that i will sign my surrender to him in december when ...
  A: First, I would have to ask if those boundaries are clearly defined? That could be a part of the ...
Long Distance Play and Switching?9/6/2008
  Q: My girlfriend and I (w're in a lesbian relationship) are separated by several states. I adore her, ...
  A: As far as Dom time, and sub time, I would set up a regular schedule with the times on it, so that ...
Bringing in knife play9/3/2008
  Q: Master Shadow, I'm a sub, with a master who I think is ideal for me. Our d/s is mainly sexual, which ...
  A: This is where honesty in all things comes into play. How is He to know, if you don't discuss your ...
web site for Castle Realm8/31/2008
  Q: Sir, i am wanting to go into your web site but unable to. i use to be able to when i was a slave for ...
  A: There seems to be a little confusion on this. I am not, nor was I ever the owner of CastleRealm. ...
relationship8/27/2008
  Q: can me and my master have a normal relationship.I love him as a master and care for him as a ...
  A: Branding is done often these days as a part of a subculture in regards to tattoos and piercing. ...
relationship8/26/2008
  Q: can me and my master have a normal relationship.I love him as a master and care for him as a ...
  A: I would say yes, for the most part, keeping in mind of coarse that you ARE in a BDSM relationship. ...
New to BDSM8/19/2008
  Q: I am a new Dom and I met this woman that is a very experienced Sub, she originally was trained in ...
  A: A collar of consideration can be almost anything You choose it to be. A decent necklace usually ...
Slave Jewelry8/11/2008
  Q: I am new to the lifestyle and was wondering if there was any protocol to the wearing of a slave ...
  A: As far as I know, there is no set protocol for anklets. Usually, it's the Dominants choice as to ...
The Alpha within??8/10/2008
  Q: I am a sub to a rather creative and devious Mistress. Ms A. often enjoys scenes with two male subs. ...
  A: Quite honestly, I not only think the Alpha and Top not only can be balanced, but are necessarily so ...
The Alpha within??8/4/2008
  Q: I am a sub to a rather creative and devious Mistress. Ms A. often enjoys scenes with two male subs. ...
  A: Enjoy it for what it is. Your Mistress is very smart. She, by having you do this, has literally ...
What do i do??8/4/2008
  Q: I meet My Master over a year ago on line, it as my understanding that it would be online for a while ...
  A: This is going to be a bit rough, but if your Dominant hasn't kept His promises in all of this time, ...
Fisting and bondage7/31/2008
  Q: i have 2 seperate questions. 1. my boyfriend wants to try midori style bondage on me... what the ...
  A: Midori is a Who, not a "what", so to speak. Midori is heavily into Japanese Rope Bondage, which can ...
A sub fem's concerns...7/30/2008
  Q: I want to ask your advice if I may? I have recently started a relationship with a Dom, and he is ...
  A: This requires imagination on your part. There is no one pat answer for this question, as what turns ...
New to the BD/SM life style7/27/2008
  Q: Sir I have a Master but my question is he has another and I am wondering how do I please my master ...
  A: At this point, I would start asking questions as to His plans with you. If He is with another to ...
New to the BD/SM life style7/26/2008
  Q: Sir I have a Master but my question is he has another and I am wondering how do I please my master ...
  A: Just please Him as you would normally do. Show yourself as worthy of your collar. I take it that ...
Being Collared7/12/2008
  Q: I an very vanilla in this lifestyle. However, in saying that I'm a quick learner, sub. My Master ...
  A: First of all, let me congratulate the both of Y/you! Being collared means you have been found ...
Castle Realm7/12/2008
  Q: i use to read and study a lot of the articles on castlerealm but it seems the site has closed down ...
  A: I would try Domsubfriends.com for another site. This is not a learning site, per se, but does have ...
New Sub7/11/2008
  Q: Although I have always felt submissive in my 'vanilla' relationships, I am uncertain as to how to ...
  A: The only way for you to know if the Lifestyle is for you is to experience it first hand. ...
Castle Realm7/9/2008
  Q: I have been looking online for quite a while now and I saw your previous answer about castle realm ...
  A: So far, I have been unable to reach Lord Colm, or the CastleRealm site, despite numerous e mails. I ...
ceremonies7/8/2008
  Q: was speaking with a Master at a recent play party and He was explaining the difference between a sub ...
  A: While I have personally never seen, nor heard of the "Taking of The Slave" ceremony, it doesn't ...
New Domme7/2/2008
  Q: What kind of boundaries should I set for my sub? We are both new to the world of BDSM. Also, do I ...
  A: Good questions! First off, You do NOT need to have been a sub, or slave to be a Domme, although many ...
Information on Domme6/30/2008
  Q: I am a married woman of 6 years. I have had the urge and willingness to be a sub in rl. Its in my ...
  A: I would be honest with your need. Tell Him it is time, if He wants to try it. Explain how you feel. ...
submissive training6/25/2008
  Q: Sir: Do you have information, or can you direct me to a site where i might get some information on ...
  A: Sorry for the lateness of this answer. I had to double check my resources before sending them to ...
starting place...6/15/2008
  Q: i had it, but he wanted other girls, so i am back at square one...I guess I am at a loss at this ...
  A: Of coarse you can do it. Just be more discerning this time. As I said earlier, do not "settle" for ...
starting place...6/15/2008
  Q: i had it, but he wanted other girls, so i am back at square one...I guess I am at a loss at this ...
  A: I would start out by going to munches, sloshes, and events. I would also place a few profiles on ...
breaking up from my master6/7/2008
  Q: submassive women and a slave' reacently i fell my master is building his way out, i am scard so ...
  A: If he left you because he wanted out of bdsm, then it was never in his heart in the first place. The ...
breaking up from my master6/4/2008
  Q: submassive women and a slave' reacently i fell my master is building his way out, i am scard so ...
  A: Not knowing how long the two of Y/you have been together, I would have to say first of all, you need ...
Domination5/31/2008
  Q: Master, I would like to know a bit more bout behavior and rules for a Dominator
  A: Your question would have to be a little more specific. In general, most Dominants adhere to a set of ...
custody5/28/2008
  Q: I really need some help and advice. I was married to my husband for 5 years and we have a 4 year old ...
  A: I guess then that my next question would be has He ever actually seen anything to do with bdsm? Or ...
CASTLE REALM5/28/2008
  Q: Any idea what happened to shut down castle realm? or where I can find the wealth of information once ...
  A: I have repeatedly requested info myself on this from the site owner without any response so far as ...
custody5/25/2008
  Q: I really need some help and advice. I was married to my husband for 5 years and we have a 4 year old ...
  A: This is a sticky situation, especially due to the bad light that bdsm Lifestylers are shown in by ...
life changing experience....what's your take on it?5/6/2008
  Q: I have been talking to a "sissy slave" online for the past 2 months or so, and I am greatly enjoying ...
  A: Wow! Give me a bit of time to answer this, as it requires a bit of thought. Your question deserves ...
life changing experience....what's your take on it?5/5/2008
  Q: I have been talking to a "sissy slave" online for the past 2 months or so, and I am greatly enjoying ...
  A: This is not an easy set of questions to answer. First off, congratulations on your introduction into ...
Concerned about a dear sadistic Top5/4/2008
  Q: I've been enjoying rather intense scenes with a dear friend/Top for about a year now. As I am a ...
  A: It sounds like either there's a serious problem She is hiding, or, more likely She cares for you ...
How can I bring my wife to BDSM Life Style5/4/2008
  Q: ...Sorry for disturbing you again... I have just got married to a good chaste Hindu girl. I also a ...
  A: First off, my dear friend, you should have discussed this with Her BEFORE the marriage, but ...
How a person become interested in BDSM?5/1/2008
  Q: How a person become interested in BDSM? From Birth? Environment? or Both of them? In my case. I did ...
  A: This is a very good question. It has several parts in the answer, as several areas must be covered. ...
Starting out in knife play4/19/2008
  Q: I have played with knives on myself for many years to various levels. Recently i have gained a ...
  A: Where to begin? Sensual knife play can be very rewarding, if done properly. The object is to make ...
My wife is doing painful tortures during our BDSM,Please tell me a solution4/3/2008
  Q: Please Read and give me your advice My age is 25.My wife Suvetha also 25.(I am a software engineer ...
  A: First of all, let me congratulate you on your recent marriage. This is a blessed event, which should ...
Anal sex and Enemas10/4/2007
  Q: I am a sub that enjoys and loves anal play and being given an enema. On average I would say that I ...
  A: Actually, yes. Too many enemas too many times can result in possible infections, either to the anal ...
Unusual, morbid fetish9/28/2007
  Q: I have a somewhat unusual "fetish"(if that is the correct word?) that involves elaborate fantasies ...
  A: This fantasy is not as rare as you might think. It would, in the BDSM Lifestyle, be considered fear ...
Currious about status of scene in Terre Haute...9/4/2007
  Q: I sent a private question, but it didn't seem to go through, so I am making this one public, sorry ...
  A: Yes. Actually, there is. But many tend to be low key about T/their involvement in the Lifestyle ...
butt plugs8/31/2007
  Q: I take a antidepresant called CELEXA - unfortunately, one of the main side effects is that it ...
  A: I think first that I would seek another antidepressant without the sexual side effects, if possible. ...
ways to find8/31/2007
  Q: .was wondering what sites You would recommend to find a female sex/domestic slave. collar me is a ...
  A: Alt also has a free area where You can chat for free. Viewing profiles, and seeing bigger pictures ...
ways to find8/30/2007
  Q: .was wondering what sites You would recommend to find a female sex/domestic slave. collar me is a ...
  A: Personally, I would recommend Alt.com, a free alternative Lifestyle Chat site. There You can place a ...
KNIFE PLAY8/29/2007
  Q: I deals in swords/knives and had a booth at a fetish fair this past weekend. Most of the Dom's were ...
  A: There is no set design that is better than any other as far as knife play is concerned, but I can ...
feminization8/25/2007
  Q: What is the purpose of making a male sub wear women's bras, panties, and attire?
  A: Many men get a vicarious thrill out of wearing the clothes of the oposite sex. These men usually ...
switching8/23/2007
  Q: i am and have been in a long distance relationship with a Dom in the UK for the last 3 years. ...
  A: I would write the three essays, two where He is Dominant, and one where You are Dominant. Use Y/your ...
how to punish 2 girls8/16/2007
  Q: "Hi, I'm going to be having a 3-sum soon with my gf and her mate and they've both agreed that i can ...
  A: Personally, I would make them both kneel facing away from each other, then fasten their ankles each ...
blood chokes8/14/2007
  Q: Can I ask what blood chokes are its not something I have heard of.
  A: A blood choke is basically nothing more than a sleeper hold. The blood supply is cut off of to the ...
Definition and difference.8/12/2007
  Q: Here in the UK, we have a couple of "terms" for which I'm pretty sure I know the Definition and ...
  A: While it is prevelant in many new Dominants, it is not necessarily prevelant in ALL new Dominants. ...
Definition and difference.8/9/2007
  Q: Here in the UK, we have a couple of "terms" for which I'm pretty sure I know the Definition and ...
  A: A wannabe is someone who pretends to have an active interest in the BDSM Lifestyle. They are ...
Reminders8/3/2007
  Q: My partner and I are into light BDSM. She has asked that I wear a cock harness as a personal ...
  A: There are a great many ideas on this. My own opinion would be to get her tatooed. Something simple, ...
Slave tests8/2/2007
  Q: first of all I hope you don't take any offense at my question. I am married and currently serving in ...
  A: I have thought long and hard on this question, and realised I need more information about the two of ...
earning your leather8/2/2007
  Q: I would like to ask you if you have any information as i have gotten many different answers and i ...
  A: There are actually a couple of ways to "Earn Your Leathers". The original, Old Guard method was to ...
edge play8/1/2007
  Q: Can you tell me about edge play like fire and water play?
  A: Edge play, such as fireplay, drowning scenes, breathplay, and bloodchokes should be left to those ...
improvised and non-mood-killing restraints7/28/2007
  Q: I find that all of the elaborateness of BDSM doesnt work much, for me. I'm the dominant member in ...
  A: I would suggest arm binders. Thy are quick to apply, and hold the arms immobile behind the slave ...
Breaking scenes7/21/2007
  Q: We have been wanting to do a Breaking scene, I’m not into corporal but it’s not a limit. My domme ...
  A: Sensory deprivation is the first thing that comes to mind, along with a submission scene, wherein ...
tit torture7/16/2007
  Q: . .recently he asked me to alter one of my bras and i am wondering if you think this is safe. . .I ...
  A: So long as the spikes do not enter too far, or cause open wounds, I see no problem with the mod of ...
help in training a sub7/8/2007
  Q: well i wantted to get my hubby into it but he was afrade of it and he didnt know what to think. he ...
  A: Get 'her' some ruffly panties and make 'her' wear them under her slacks. Get her some lace top ...
help in training a sub7/4/2007
  Q: well i wantted to get my hubby into it but he was afrade of it and he didnt know what to think. he ...
  A: I would think it was time to go shopping for "clothes" for your "girl". There are many second hand ...
Humiliation, degrading play, etc7/3/2007
  Q: My MASTER wants me to come up with more ideas for degrading me. We are into humiliating, nasty play ...
  A: Without knowing more as to the meaning of "nasty play" I can offer few ideas, but might have some ...
Giving my GF a "hard" punishment7/1/2007
  Q: I've been with my gf for 2 years and we've done bdsm all the way through the relationship and ...
  A: Personally, it sounds as if You have things well in hand already. You could also throw in flogging, ...
point system6/27/2007
  Q: I keep hearing about a points system. I have a sub who keeps telling me about this and I have no ...
  A: Personally, I have never heard of a point system, but I guess it is possible that one exists, ...
testing a slave6/16/2007
  Q: How does a female Dom, test a male slave as an introduction of their worthiness?
  A: Exactly! Whatever task You put him to do, then that is what he is to do to prove his worthiness to ...
Collar of Consideration6/12/2007
  Q: Good evening! i have met the Man who may be my Master. In the seven years that i've been active in ...
  A: First off, congratulations on finding your Master! It is an awesome thing to discover the One you ...
Information needed for novices.6/1/2007
  Q: Don't know exactly where to start. I have had an online BDSM relationship and was a virgin in real ...
  A: Here are a few of the sites I have found in the States on the Internet in regards to your needs. i ...
ageplay5/31/2007
  Q: Im a 20 year old female and after a long seperation from my paartner who is a 24 year old male- we ...
  A: This is a hard question to answer. The first thing you have to ask yourself is "Which is more ...
Information needed for novices.5/29/2007
  Q: Don't know exactly where to start. I have had an online BDSM relationship and was a virgin in real ...
  A: Without knowing the State, or area where you live, this would be hard to answer specifically. There ...
DomSpace/DomDrop5/18/2007
  Q: Ok, if you remember Me and My question about subspace, you HAD to know this was coming !!! lol Just ...
  A: Yes, I remember :). Domspace is the adrenalin high that is associated with a Dominant when scening ...
humiliation5/16/2007
  Q: My boyfriend like me to come up with things for him to do to humiliate me and i am running out of ...
  A: Well, puppy play comes to mind, including making you eat petfood and drink out of pet dishes without ...
subspace/subdrop5/16/2007
  Q: What is "subdrop"? I understand subspace, but what is the BEST and safest aftercare for a Dominant ...
  A: Yes, You have the gist of it. The sub becomes almost child like when in this state, and the best ...
subspace/subdrop5/16/2007
  Q: What is "subdrop"? I understand subspace, but what is the BEST and safest aftercare for a Dominant ...
  A: When scened, the endorphin levels are raised slowly with the application of pain. Subdrop is when ...
Complicated BDSM relationship5/4/2007
  Q: I will bless you and thank you a lot to have your advice So here it is: About Me: I am 25 ...
  A: First off, I would quit trying to change Her. She is living Her life the way She chooses, as any ...
Birth control pills5/3/2007
  Q: Why would someone ask me to not be on birth control pills? I know the obvious answer is that he ...
  A: Birth control pills have many nasty side effects which, in my opinion far outweigh the benefits. ...
Fire Play5/1/2007
  Q: How/where can I find someone to learn fire play from in the upper Midwest (preferably Wisconsin or ...
  A: Going to events such as Kinky Kollege, or Sinsations in Leather, both located near the Chicago area, ...
CBT3/9/2007
  Q: What wil happen to my husband's balls if they are kept forcd up inside him.
  A: Keeping your husbands testicles up inside his body is vary dangerous, and may cause either ...
control1/24/2007
  Q: this girl has ask for your advise. Is there such a thing as a Master that can train a girl in the ...
  A: Truly, girl, there is a way this can be done. However, it takes a strong Master, who is willing to ...
Marking of SLave1/20/2007
  Q: My Slave would liked to be marked by me his Domme, he is not talking Piercings or Tattoos he is ...
  A: Branding is not actually abuse, if agreed to by both parties. It can, however, if not done properly ...
anal play1/2/2007
  Q: my girlfriend and I have been enjoying the practice of bdsm for a while now but are starting to move ...
  A: Anal play is an exciting thing to many. There is nothing that says submission like having the ...
spanking my gf12/12/2006
  Q: we always use blindfolds and handcuffs whenever we spank each other. her favourite way to be spanked ...
  A: I did answer this once before, but apearently, it was never sent. There are many things which can be ...
spanking my gf12/12/2006
  Q: i have been with my gf for a year now and have been spanking each other for about 4 months. we have ...
  A: One way is to tie her wrists to her ankles, with legs either spread, or together on the bed. This ...
duct tape12/11/2006
  Q: isn't there any way to duct tape urself up? i mean the ankles, thighs, wrists, and gag. thanks!
  A: Obviously there is. One starts with the ankles, then the thighs. The gag would be next. The wrists ...
need help11/30/2006
  Q: could you tell me names of movies with a bdsm, or domination theme, prefrebly from 80's era. and i ...
  A: This falls outside of my area of expertise. I do not watch porn of any type, including BD/SM, ...
question11/29/2006
  Q: my name is Steve. I am a 29 year old submissive male who's into soft bondage only. I am not into ...
  A: While it is true that I do answer BD/SM questions, I am located in the States, and have very few ...
Broken tv11/17/2006
  Q: I have a TV it turns on,but after about a minute it turns off.I turn it back on it turns off.I`m ...
  A: Even though this has nothing to do with the BD/SM lifestyle, I will attempt to answer it. It sounds ...
Chokes11/9/2006
  Q: What is the difference between a blood choke, and a regular choke hold?
  A: A blood choke restricts the blood supply to the brain through the carotid artery, whereas a regular ...
Cupping11/9/2006
  Q: My sub is interested in cupping, and I need to find out what it is, and how is it done
  A: Cupping is an ancient Chinese technique often used for such ailments as arthritis. Cupping is ...
cupping, What is it?11/9/2006
  Q: I wanted to know what cupping is. My new sub was telling me she wants to try it.
  A: Cupping is a technique whereby a cotton ball is soaked in either alcohol, or some other volatile ...
Time between scenes.11/8/2006
  Q: How much time should I give my sub between scenes? I know she will be sore for a while, but am not ...
  A: Usually a week should suffice for most scenes, as it takes about a week for the bruises and marks to ...
Meeting a new sub real time11/8/2006
  Q: What precautions should I take when meeting a new sub for the first time. Any advice on this? We're ...
  A: When meeting someone in the lifestyle for the first time, safecalls should be set up. This is where ...
sexual issue9/3/2006
  Q: my name is dana.i find out lately sexual needs from my boyfriend that he is crazy about my feet ...
  A: Tell him straight out that if he wants to do these things, that he will have to kneel, literally, at ...
collaring ceremony8/30/2006
  Q: my Master wished me to research a collaring ceremony for our area. We are located within 50 miles ...
  A: groups.yahoo.com/group/AlabamaBDSM http://www.geocities.com/adadslilangel/index.html ...
Fetishes and humiliation7/27/2006
  Q: me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 4 months now. he has a major foot fetish and is ...
  A: Forced feminization, with verbal humiliation would work for starters. Dress him in womans clothes, ...

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