| Subject | Date Asked |
|
| Sub drop help !!! | 10/26/2009 |
Q: I really need some advice. I have just come back to the BDSM scence after a few years abscence, i ...
A: Annabel, This doesn't sound like sub drop to me. It seems more like the after effects of trauma. ...
|
| Over-reaction? | 10/23/2009 |
Q: I feel that my problem is somewhat complex but will try to keep it simple. I am a gay submissive ...
A: Brad, You're not at all paranoid; this isn't what it's supposed to be like. The watchwords in BDSM ...
|
| New Master | 10/13/2009 |
Q: My friend and I want to begin a master/slave relationship. We are just beginning and I want ...
A: Tim, Rather than try to reinvent the wheel, I'm going to give you a web site that I think will be ...
|
| poly: dealing with a pain in the butt "princess" while pregnant | 10/11/2009 |
Q: my Master has 4 girls. im 2nd in the line up tho im newest.. and the youngest. i get along with 3 ...
A: His_kitten, This is a difficult situation. Most of us have experienced at least its vanilla forms ...
|
| Aftercare and Subspace | 10/9/2009 |
Q: I am a sub in a B & D relationship. Not S & M, just the B & D part. My question is about subspace ...
A: Annie, I know you feel hurt by your husband's response and, before we go any further, I want to ...
|
| New submissive. | 10/6/2009 |
Q: I am new to being submissive, the only experiences I've had so far have been online, and ...
A: Bella, It's a pleasure to answer your question. You said you wanted to meet "people" rather than ...
|
| Appropriate gift for Master? | 10/2/2009 |
Q: in a few short days, He will be offering me a collar of consideration. i am looking for some ...
A: cherishedpet, My sense is you want to give your partner something special to let him know how much ...
|
| trust broken after consenting 2 be s full time slave | 10/1/2009 |
Q: 1st thank You for taking time out for a strangers question Its very kind of You my situation is this ...
A: Sublimity, I think it's important to reach out to others in the community, as I imagine most of the ...
|
| i sent the same question to someone else | 9/30/2009 |
Q: but i would like to cross reference advice and information, and having more than one opinion is ...
A: Sky, Please don't think you have to apologize for needing help. Lots of people find this kind of ...
|
| what to do | 9/29/2009 |
Q: Misress Vioette Being a newbie to this lifestyle I started corresponding with a female slave who has ...
A: William, I'm sorry this happened to you. I wish I had a solution for you that would make it better ...
|
| Nervous, but Intrigued | 9/25/2009 |
Q: I'm not really sure if you're the right person to be asking, but here goes. I'd first like to ...
A: Kali, It's nice to hear from someone who wants to make an informed decision. That's an attitude ...
|
| bf doesn't like to be in control | 9/23/2009 |
Q: First of all, I want to apologize for my English. It's not my native language. but I'll do my ...
A: Janneke, Your English is lovely so there are no worries on that score. Also, it may not be a ...
|
| how to mend relationship with stepdaughter | 9/19/2009 |
Q: At some point in the past two weeks, my slave/husband's daughter found my blog page, which I had ...
A: Brianna, This is an interesting question. I'm sure you understand that all I'm able to do is ...
|
| Adult Bed Times | 9/18/2009 |
Q: I have been a BDSM dom for some time now but have recently entered my first relationship with an ...
A: Mitchell, Keep in mind that the Daddy/daughter dynamic is something you do, not something you are. ...
|
| Why? | 9/11/2009 |
Q: I have a Ph.D and have taught at the collegiate level, as well as served as a psych nurse for 19 ...
A: William, You've asked a question that's on the minds of many people, yet doesn't have an answer. ...
|
| Tips on Being a Better Dom? | 9/10/2009 |
Q: I met a guy about 4 months ago who was looking for a BDSM relationship. He said he could be dom or ...
A: Stoney, I think you've got a basic understanding of what BDSM is but you're not sure how to express ...
|
| Managing an online Submissive. | 9/8/2009 |
Q: To cut a long story short, I accidentally tripped over and fell into the world of BDSM after meeting ...
A: James, It seems to me that what Belle is trying to convey to you is she wants what any submissive ...
|
| just trying to figure this out | 9/7/2009 |
Q: I have very strict, conservative parents, my Dad's a southern baptist preacher, and my mom teaches ...
A: Rachel, Your responses may not mean what you think they do. Some people enjoy sex scenes in movies, ...
|
| Is my fiance a submissive? | 9/3/2009 |
Q: I desperately need some help and would really value your advice. I have no knowledge of BDSM at all, ...
A: Lily, Because BDSM isn't well understood, sometimes even by people who think they practice it, ...
|
| Name | 8/28/2009 |
Q: I am new to this...i am a sub, my dom wants me to call her mistress, however i am not so comfortable ...
A: Kiddo, I don't have enough information to know the exact nature of your relationship so all I can ...
|
| Masters responsiblility after release | 8/23/2009 |
Q: I have some conflicting issues on this and in need of advice..I had read somewhere but I don't ...
A: Dawn, I wanted to answer your question because I think this is an important point that sometimes ...
|
| Broken Hearted Sub | 8/12/2009 |
Q: My Daddy/Dom just ended our relationship, and I am completely broken hearted and not sure how to ...
A: Nanci, This is an unhappy thing for you and I feel for you. To have someone who is important to you ...
|
| My sadistic boyfriend | 8/6/2009 |
Q: I've been with my boyfriend for about 9 months now-though there has been some breaking up and ...
A: Alex, You're right, it is all very personal and depends on the situation. You may be new to BDSM ...
|
| how do i help boyfriend take control | 7/25/2009 |
Q: I'm new to this and would like pointers in helping my boyfriend take control of our sexual play. He ...
A: Wendy, Thinking someone wants to be dominant in the bedroom because he's dominant in other aspects ...
|
| Secret Not-So Relationship | 7/23/2009 |
Q: This is really more of a relationship question than a BDSM question and I apologize for the length ...
A: Natashas, It's no wonder you're feeling confused; you're in a confusing situation. We're ...
|
| Too sensitive for BDSM | 7/6/2009 |
Q: I am 34y/o and have recently come into touch with my submissive qualities and am able to talk about ...
A: Jason, The person you're describing seems a little suspect in the area of being a competent ...
|
| Dealing with the outside world's view of me | 7/4/2009 |
Q: I will start with a little background on my relationship before asking my question. I met my Daddy ...
A: Kristina, I think you've pegged part of your problem. If you don't talk about your Daddy, you don't ...
|
| Telling my mother | 6/30/2009 |
Q: Well, to start off, I'm 18 and have been involved in the BDSM world for about a year now. I really ...
A: Stacy, It's too bad your mother has had a negative experience with BDSM. It's coloring her ...
|
| The Come Down? | 6/17/2009 |
Q: I got this email from a new submissive that I'm training...I would like to help her thru what I here ...
A: Mr. Brown, The two of you need to talk. Your submissive needs some reassurance. It seems like this ...
|
| figuring this out | 6/6/2009 |
Q: I will try to be brief. I found I was a lesbian later in life. With my current girlfriend, I have ...
A: Aussie, I like the way you put that, a BDSM "style" of sex. There are lots of people who enjoy the ...
|
| My husband won't dominate me! | 6/5/2009 |
Q: I was recently married a little over six months ago, and my husband just won't dominate me. When we ...
A: Sylvia, I wonder if you're confusing your husband with your terminology. What you'd like him to do ...
|
| Betrayed by my Master | 5/11/2009 |
Q: I have been a Slave to my Master for over half a year now. As time progressed, it became more than ...
A: Valentine, It's hard to be fully engaged in life and with other people without experiencing pain ...
|
| Juggling | 5/5/2009 |
Q: I have a bit of an issue. I have been a submissive all my life but it wasn't pointed out to me until ...
A: Erica, I commend you on recognizing you were in a relationship that wasn't safe, sane and ...
|
| I think my boyfriend may be into this... | 5/4/2009 |
Q: Ok, I'm 22 and I've been with my boyfriend for four years and we've had anal sex off and on ...
A: Jacky, If your boyfriend is getting his ideas of what BDSM is from BDSM oriented porn, it's no ...
|
| Making it better | 5/2/2009 |
Q: My wife still isn't really interested in dominating me in bed. Her interest is receiving intercourse ...
A: Brison, Your wife only doing what she feels comfortable doing is exactly right. Your hope is to ...
|
| Writing essay as punishment | 4/30/2009 |
Q: My Master is training me in oral pleasuring and to de-sensitize my terrible gag reflex. I spilled ...
A: Melanie, It's hard to tell from this message that English isn't your first language. One thing I ...
|
| How to worship a woman | 4/24/2009 |
Q: my wife is a dominant woman and she asked me to worship her but i don't know how to worship a woman. ...
A: Gilbert, It looks like the two of you are new to BDSM, so I want to welcome you to what can be a ...
|
| BDSM: Starting sub/dom online relationship | 4/13/2009 |
Q: Im new in BDSM, im a dom, i find a sub online no trained before, i get so nervous when he want to ...
A: Gabriela, I'm glad you're asking for advice now, as you're just getting started. Knowing that you ...
|
| confused and needing help on long distance poly/bdsm relationship | 4/12/2009 |
Q: I am 36 years old man , and I met a 41 year old woman on an online game. She was very slow and ...
A: Chris, This is a difficult situation for you and it's no wonder you're feeling the way you are. On ...
|
| Dom & Domme | 4/5/2009 |
Q: I have been dating this man for now a few months and we're both dominant and neither one of us are ...
A: Tabitha, This is an interesting situation. I wish I had a definitive answer for you but I don't. ...
|
| D/s communcation | 4/3/2009 |
Q: I am a fairly new sub, in a new D/s relationship of under three months. Twelve days ago, Sir told me ...
A: Shirley, This certainly is unusual behavior. We keep saying how important communication is in a ...
|
| New to Dom/sub with some questions | 4/2/2009 |
Q: Recently, I started a D/s relationship with my "friend with benefits" and we're still exploring and ...
A: Suze, It's great you and your friend are exploring and learning together! An important thing to ...
|
| Now Vanilla Wife | 3/31/2009 |
Q: My wife and i have been married for 10 years. Prior to our engagement we discovered our D/s ...
A: Wayne, I don't think there's anything wrong in asking if your wife would be comfortable if you ...
|
| apologizing to my Master | 3/24/2009 |
Q: I am very new at this and i have an online Master and i was wonding how do i apologize to him when i ...
A: Shelley, People find it hard to trust when they don't feel secure in the relationship. Has he done ...
|
| apologizing to my Master | 3/23/2009 |
Q: I am very new at this and i have an online Master and i was wonding how do i apologize to him when i ...
A: Shelley, You're right, it seems like there's a large amount of miscommunication in cyber space. ...
|
| husband frightened by our play | 3/17/2009 |
Q: My husband and I have recently discovered that we like D/s and have been doing scenes and playtime ...
A: Heather, The kind of reaction you had isn't uncommon but, to a newcomer seeing it for the first ...
|
| married female sub curious | 3/10/2009 |
Q: I am a happily married female. Currently, I find myself interested and exploring the idea of having ...
A: Cynthia, I've known or heard of a number of women who discovered an interest in BDSM in their ...
|
| How to get him to realize that I'm willing. | 1/27/2009 |
Q: Greetings, Mistress Violette. I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man for nearing six ...
A: It sounds to me like you already have told him and he understands you perfectly. He's told you he ...
|
| forced homosexuality | 12/14/2008 |
Q: I am submissive man to my dminant loing temr partner. I enjoy being her slave and we enjoysex from ...
A: Ryan, There are straight men who, while not exactly enjoying sex with another man, find it ...
|
| Male slavery | 12/13/2008 |
Q: Mistress, I am very much obsessed to being a slave of a Mistress. Can Mistress help me to find a ...
A: slaveofaffina, You're doing the same thing many newcomers to BDSM do, thinking the best person to ...
|
| d/s and vanilla relationship | 12/2/2008 |
Q: I apologize for my English, but I hope you would understand my questions. I found out that my ...
A: Vero, The answer to your question is yes, a BDSM person and a vanilla person can have a lifelong ...
|
| i need some information please | 12/1/2008 |
Q: Greetings Mistress Violette i would like to beg a question of You if i may. i am a 24yr old male ...
A: AJ, I'm going to suggest two search terms to you, both of which will turn up many results that ...
|
| BDSM- Switching and Groups | 11/25/2008 |
Q: Greetings, Ma'am. I am somewhat new to the BDSM community, and in the recent past couple of years, I ...
A: Nocte, Sometimes labels are helpful. They can be a short hand that lets other people know something ...
|
| piercings - mark of ownership | 11/24/2008 |
Q: Earlier you stated you prefer piercings over brandings or tattoos. What type of piercing would you ...
A: Tom, Judging from your subject, your owner is thinking of having you pierced. Since I don't know ...
|
| new and need to know how to ask the right questions | 11/18/2008 |
Q: i have been dating a wonderful woman for several months and we have dabbled in light bondage and ...
A: Scott, You're both lucky to have found someone with interests in this area. Kudos to you for ...
|
| Slaves Masturbating | 11/10/2008 |
Q: I own two males and it might sound like a dumb question but how many times a day, or a week, can a ...
A: Jamie, It's not a dumb question at all, but it is hard to answer. I can't tell you a specific ...
|
| Experienced sub, not so experienced Dom. | 11/9/2008 |
Q: I am fairly new at Dominating, but I have recently found a sub who wants to be owned by me. he has ...
A: Michah, You're at a wonderful stage in your journey because the potential is for it to just get ...
|
| BDSM dating | 11/4/2008 |
Q: I have been sexually submissive my whole life - am 42 now. I discovered the bdsm world about 7 years ...
A: Karen, With any type of relationship, the dating part gives us a chance to assess compatibility. ...
|
| Mentor - D/s | 11/3/2008 |
Q: I am a 51 yo swf who is brand new to the D/s lifestyle. I am a feminist who identifies as a sub. ...
A: Jennifer, I'm going to answer your question, but probably not in the way you're expecting. I'm not ...
|
| girlfriend is vanilla and I told her I want BDSM | 11/2/2008 |
Q: I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about a year and a half. We have been having ...
A: Jack, I'm going to point you to some sites that I think will help you. They're about explaining ...
|
| Newbie | 10/30/2008 |
Q: I guess I would be a newbie...I am a 46 yr old women that has always been involved in traditional ...
A: Jennifer, Props to you for knowing you need to look for information and answers. Let me see if I ...
|
| new to D/s | 10/20/2008 |
Q: Good evening Mistress Violette, I hope my question fits into a catagory you are familar with. I ...
A: Cid, At this point, it sounds like you're interested in exploring kinky role playing rather than ...
|
| Academic environment and D/s | 10/16/2008 |
Q: My Master and I have been together for one and a half years and our relationship if going steady. I ...
A: Lydia, I have to admit, I'm not sure what you're asking me to do. I'll address what I think are the ...
|
| Slave action / selling | 10/14/2008 |
Q: I have a little question regarding slave actions or slave selling. I am master for quite some years ...
A: Dennis, I agree with you, this screams "Scam!" I think you were wise not to follow through. I ...
|
| connecting with others. | 10/6/2008 |
Q: I have been with my Master for over 8 years. During these past eight years we have been in some form ...
A: I think it's a good idea to connect with others who are involved in BDSM in the same way you are. ...
|
| Submissive's ettiqute | 10/2/2008 |
Q: I have been chatting on line for a few months now and have had a few personal interactions with ...
A: Kristin, I'm happy to help someone who wants to make an informed decision. Just please understand ...
|
| Gender neutral titles | 9/30/2008 |
Q: Mistress Violette. I'm a female-reared intersexed person, and have been in the process of coming ...
A: Riv, I wish I had a definitive answer for you. My personal preference for a gender neutral ...
|
| behavior | 9/28/2008 |
Q: Mistress, i am relatively new to the lifestyle in that i am now able and allowed to act on the wants ...
A: As much as i dislike saying this, dominants aren't always thoughtful. Or observant. We think we're ...
|
| slave in training | 9/25/2008 |
Q: my Dom (boyfriend/fiance) just collared me a few days ago. I understand what this means and am very ...
A: Gypsy, I'm always happy to hear from someone who wants to take the initiative when it comes to ...
|
| Being used | 9/22/2008 |
Q: she's paying for the hotel and reimbursing for the plane ride, she seems nice but she is also a Dom ...
A: Paul, I think this is confusing. If the two of you are exploring a personal relationship as dom and ...
|
| I'm a vanilla, my wife just came out BDSM | 9/17/2008 |
Q: Please help me deal with this. At first I was very aroused but when I realized this is a path she is ...
A: Dave, I can understand why this is a surprise to you and I think your reaction isn't out of the ...
|
| Discussing BDSM with my mom | 9/12/2008 |
Q: I have been interested and somewhat active in the BDSM lifestyle for about 5 years now. I had a ...
A: Jenn, It's great you and your mother are at a point where you can discuss BDSM. That you were both ...
|
| Keeping the Secret | 9/8/2008 |
Q: I have a male friend who was in a BDSM relationship with his girlfriend. They have now broken up and ...
A: Lori, This is a relationship issue, not a BDSM issue, so let's look at it from that perspective. ...
|
| General Misgivings, Simple Uncertainty | 8/31/2008 |
Q: I have been interested in a sub/dom relationship for a long time. I've always been interested in ...
A: Marie, In a world where people sometimes go rushing off into "dom/sub" relationships with little ...
|
| From absolute bliss to utter confusion | 8/30/2008 |
Q: I am 20 and relatively new to bdsm though I do love it. I am a submissive to a wonderful Domme and ...
A: Anna, It's very uncomfortable when something like this happens just before a long weekend. Your ...
|
| Introducing this to my fiance. | 8/28/2008 |
Q: I am very into power exchange relationships as well as ageplay and other such things. My fiance is ...
A: Anna, I think you're right about the source of your fiancé's discomfort, at least partially. It's ...
|
| A Domestic Slave situation | 8/22/2008 |
Q: My husband and I were originally looking for an occasional subfem for our sexual enjoyment. We are ...
A: Kristina, I wish I could tell you some sure fire things to ask to help you evaluate this person but ...
|
| A Domestic Slave situation | 8/21/2008 |
Q: My husband and I were originally looking for an occasional subfem for our sexual enjoyment. We are ...
A: Christina, You're very lucky to have found someone who is promising what this woman is. It's rare. ...
|
| ?fee for dom | 8/18/2008 |
Q: Over the last year I have been reading up on BDSM and coming to terms with just the idea that I may ...
A: Lee, You've hit on what I see as the great conundrum of professional domination - if you pay for ...
|
| polyamerous D/s relations and status switching | 8/8/2008 |
Q: i have been married to my wife for almost 8 years 3 of which were 24/7 rt D/s as her husband i made ...
A: Blade, It depends on the individuals, of course, but it is possible for people to successfully ...
|
| bsdm | 8/7/2008 |
Q: My bf has just dropped a bombshell on me....he told me that he wants our relationship to head in the ...
A: Cybil, I'm glad you're interested in learning about BDSM and I encourage you to do that. It ...
|
| Learning | 7/30/2008 |
Q: I've just entered a D/s relationship for the second time. The first time, though with the same ...
A: Nathaniel, I want to start with a slightly different perspective on feelings. If you're feeling ...
|
| FemDom marriages | 7/28/2008 |
Q: My husband and I have tried this lifestyle for about a six months now and he has trouble giving me ...
A: Sue, I have to tell you, my personal preference is that a submissive be ready to submit before he ...
|
| Branding | 7/23/2008 |
Q: Mistress Violette, have you ever branded anyone? Many years ago, I was involved with a Mistress ...
A: Jim, As I'm sure you're aware, we all have different tastes in play and permanent modification is ...
|
| Not bratty enough? Too good? | 7/23/2008 |
Q: I am a sub, in my first major D/s relationship with another woman. I do have experience in D/s in ...
A: Kaila, Thinking critically to yourself and acting on your conclusions are two different things. It ...
|
| Not bratty enough? Too good? | 7/22/2008 |
Q: I am a sub, in my first major D/s relationship with another woman. I do have experience in D/s in ...
A: Kaila, Actually, I think a soupçon of fear in a submissive is a good thing. :) I think I see what ...
|
| I'm NOT really into this.... | 7/21/2008 |
Q: My husband wants to be dominated. Humiliated. Spanked. He doesn't necessarily want to be hurt ...
A: Kacey, I think you've been reading the right books. Your husband is looking for kinky sex, not ...
|
| training question | 7/21/2008 |
Q: Unfortuantely, this is not an advice ralted question in terms of how do I...... this is more of a ...
A: Renee, Probably the most important thing I can tell you is to concentrate on becoming a good ...
|
| approached my MARRIED man, wants to serve, says it's "okay" | 7/13/2008 |
Q: Recently I was approached by a guy I know who was very articulate about his fresh understanding that ...
A: Lala, I think it's important not to ignore red flags, so I like your thinking in that regard. I ...
|
| Reconciling upbringing with BDSM lifestyle | 7/9/2008 |
Q: I was raised in a very sheltered religious home, but had thoughts of BDSM(though with nothing to ...
A: Angel, Those shadows and nigglings are common, period. I've known people from all kinds of ...
|
| looking for a starting place | 6/22/2008 |
Q: I am a strong, feminist, Christian single girl who has successfully run a department for a number of ...
A: Bethannie, It looks to me like you've been doing at least a little research already, not to mention ...
|
| looking for a starting place | 6/21/2008 |
Q: I am a strong, feminist, Christian single girl who has successfully run a department for a number of ...
A: Bethannie, First, let me say what follows is my own personal opinion. While many would agree with ...
|
| ProDomme to Lifestyle dom. Creating a Dom/Sub relationship and making it stick. | 6/13/2008 |
Q: I have been a ProDomme for over two years now and somewhat stayed away from the Lifestyle Domme ...
A: Goddess Von, I think you're spot on in your assessment of the difference between professional and ...
|
| collars | 6/11/2008 |
Q: ive heard of doms also wearing collars. what is the reasoning behind it?
A: John, It's a fashion statement. Pro dommes sometimes wear them because it looks sexy or fetishy or ...
|
| How to deal with a sub with a strong personality and much more experience | 6/9/2008 |
Q: This is a question inspired by one of your earlier answers. I am in the same situation as that ...
A: Alison, If I'm understanding you correctly, it sounds like the problem isn't your submissive's ...
|
| Switching | 6/9/2008 |
Q: I have just recently become a slave to a fresh Master. He is very good for just beginning in the ...
A: Heide, You're not alone in asking the questions you have. I recently answered a similar question ...
|
| submission | 6/5/2008 |
Q: I have been in a relationship with my man for 3years now, and we are both love to fullfill ...
A: Kit, I'm guessing your boyfriend hasn't been exposed to many positives about BDSM. There's so much ...
|
| BDSM beginning help | 6/2/2008 |
Q: I have been interested in BDSM for a while now and have just recently decided that I would like it ...
A: S., You've asked nteresting questions, let's see where we can go with them. There are dom/dom ...
|
| Terribly Confused! | 6/1/2008 |
Q: Hey..My name is Amy. I'm 16 years old. Okay okay, I know. You might think that a 16 year old "kid" ...
A: Amy, I don't think you're at all stupid. That's why I'm going to be honest with you, knowing you ...
|
| intercourse | 5/30/2008 |
Q: Ma'am, where are you on sex between a slave and a Domme? I know it is up to the couple, but some say ...
A: Bobby, To me, this isn't a BDSM issue, it's a relationship issue. Whether or not a dom and sub have ...
|
| how to handle a sub with strong personality | 5/30/2008 |
Q: Mistress Violette. I am a Domme and recently started a sm relationship with a male sub. We are ...
A: Lilith, You're correct to distinguish BDSM from kinky sex. That's an excellent beginning for what ...
|
| Wife and her Dom | 5/29/2008 |
Q: My wife and I had talked about BDSM play for several years. We are active swingers and have played ...
A: Wayne, I'm not an expert on swinging so I'm wondering if you and your wife had some sort of ...
|
| custody | 5/25/2008 |
Q: I have another question. I cannot afford a lawyer at all. I was wondering if you had any other links ...
A: I'm sorry, Teri, I don't have any additional resources. Try the link to the list of support groups. ...
|
| divorce and cutody | 5/24/2008 |
Q: I need some help and quick. I was married to my husband for almost 6 years but have been together ...
A: Teri, There have been situations in which people have lost custody due to BDSM or where being ...
|
| Any means by which slaves can be tracked down? | 5/21/2008 |
Q: Greetings, I'm a dominant male and am in desperate search of a partner who can be my slave. Is ...
A: Adi, This site has comprehensive lists of several types of resources: ...
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| Any means by which slaves can be tracked down? | 5/20/2008 |
Q: Greetings, I'm a dominant male and am in desperate search of a partner who can be my slave. Is ...
A: Adi, Although your English is lovely my sense is it's your second language, so I want to make a ...
|
| relationship with my master | 5/19/2008 |
Q: Ok so im pretty new to the whole s and m lifestyle. I was introduced to it in late december and im ...
A: Eve, Although there isn't a problem with the age difference I'm wondering if there is a problem due ...
|
| bringing in a third... | 5/18/2008 |
Q: I have been "seeing" this guy for over a year. Usually once a month or so he punishes and takes ...
A: Anna, If I'm understanding you correctly, it looks like you've chosen not to go with the third ...
|
| bringing in a third... | 5/18/2008 |
Q: I have been "seeing" this guy for over a year. Usually once a month or so he punishes and takes ...
A: Anna, Unless you've consented to non-consent, which probably isn't wise in a part time ...
|
| developing relationship with wife | 5/13/2008 |
Q: I've recently introduced my wife to the idea of spanking me to help me behave more to her liking. ...
A: Aaron, I suspect you know this; you're very lucky your wife has been willing to go this far with ...
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| Finding a Mistress | 5/9/2008 |
Q: I just moved back to Detroit after being gone for 15 years. Before I left, I had been meeting a few ...
A: Jim, I think what you're saying is you're a submissive man looking for the Dom of Your Dreams. ...
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| husband wants domination, I'm generally vanilla | 5/9/2008 |
Q: I'm having a lot of trouble sorting out my feelings about my husband of seven years. After a period ...
A: Agnes, You have a remarkable grasp of what's wrong with your husband's conception of submission. ...
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| my man wants to be dominated. | 5/6/2008 |
Q: we have been together 5 years and all of a sudden this turns him on. or he has just never told me. ...
A: Tracey, You're absolutely right, it's not all about whips and chains. While that can be lots of ...
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| How a person become interested in BDSM? | 5/4/2008 |
Q: How a person become interested in BDSM? From Birth? Environment? or Both of them? In my case. I did ...
A: Mogan, All the experts of whom you asked your original question gave you pretty much the same ...
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| How a person become interested in BDSM? | 5/1/2008 |
Q: How a person become interested in BDSM? From Birth? Environment? or Both of them? In my case. I did ...
A: Mogan, I would love to give you the answers but there aren't any right now. The question about ...
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| Mindless Rutting | 4/23/2008 |
Q: Recently, I have been experimenting in online BDSM as a sub. Several of the people I have met have ...
A: Charlotte, My sense is you got involved with some people who don't know much about BDSM, are game ...
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| Daily/Weekly tasks | 4/21/2008 |
Q: . My partner and i are taking out relationship to the next level. We need structure, and are ...
A: John, It's hard to make play suggestions for someone without knowing her interests and abilities ...
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| confused | 4/19/2008 |
Q: I am curently talking to someone online/the phone. We have been talking for about three months and ...
A: Charli, This is a great question, because you've hit on an important area of BDM. I think you're ...
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| Orgasm/sex control | 4/12/2008 |
Q: I've always encouraged my wife to be dominant. I'd always hoped that it would translate to hot and ...
A: Tim, I have to say, it sounds like you've worked hard to make your dream of a BDSM relationship ...
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| New to this?,,, | 4/7/2008 |
Q: My fiancee and I recently started toying with BDSM. I really like to serve him and to be controlled, ...
A: Veronica, Nervous is a good thing. :) Good practitioners of BDSM work hard to be sure their play is ...
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| My wife is doing painful tortures during our BDSM,Please tell me a solution | 4/3/2008 |
Q: Please don't discard my question as it is too long. My age is 25.My wife Suvetha also 25.(I am a ...
A: Rammohan, You're lucky you and your wife have a similar interest in BDSM. What's not so lucky is ...
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| confused | 4/1/2008 |
Q: My question is about someone who I met online. I am a female sub who is attracted to male Doms, so ...
A: Lina, I think your gut feelings are spot on here so please don't ignore them. It's not appropriate ...
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| My submissive | 3/31/2008 |
Q: This is more like a issue I'm having rather then a question , I'm going to explain as much as i can ...
A: Dean, I'm happy to give you my perspective on this situation. I know how hard it is to see things ...
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| explaining BDSM to a family member | 3/30/2008 |
Q: I have been into BDSM for quite some time, and I am very comfortable with that part of who I am. ...
A: Myra, You're lucky your mom is able to be supportive, so I can understand your desire to help her ...
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| New sub | 3/29/2008 |
Q: I recently went home with a co-worker after a night out having some drinks. I have known him for 13 ...
A: Lisa, I know there's an exciting element to the idea of waiting to see if he comes for you. Even ...
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| How do I explain it to him? | 3/29/2008 |
Q: Mistress Violette, I have known that I was a submissive since I was 15 years old and I have been ...
A: Tabby, When you say you've been trying to express it, I'm thinking you mean you want to tell him ...
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| Pet | 3/27/2008 |
Q: I am quite interested in becoming a human pet, not a pony-girl or someone's slave. I am willing ...
A: Charlotte, I think you're asking not if being a "pet" is possible but if having a certain type of ...
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| confusion | 3/25/2008 |
Q: I am a 24 year old male from England. I am quite a good looking lad and don't really have any ...
A: Adam, If you're worried that you might be alone or rare in your interests, please don't be. What ...
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| new master | 3/25/2008 |
Q: I have recently become a new master. I would like to know where I can read up on how to become a ...
A: Matt, I think the biggest mistake people make when entering BDSM is to try to "learn on the job." I ...
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| Relationship meltdown! | 3/20/2008 |
Q: my ex boyfriend finished with me because he said I didn't make him more uncomfortable in the house. ...
A: Alana, You have every right to be confused. Your boyfriend was sending you mixed messages. My guess ...
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| Online D/s Relation | 3/18/2008 |
Q: Am having a online D/s relation with a girl. cud u please suggest me some of the online and offline ...
A: Role, I've answered this question before and been told the information was helpful, so I'm going to ...
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| BDSM when Children are in the Home | 3/17/2008 |
Q: I have a 5 and 2 year old son. My husband and I have a BDSM relationship with me as the Domme and ...
A: Allison, It really irks me when people do things like this in custody situations. I suppose it's no ...
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| Loosing of a gf/sub | 3/12/2008 |
Q: I had a sub i cared very much for, some one who inspired me to take control of my life, and be with ...
A: Graham, It's always difficult when a relationship ends before we're ready. It's especially hard ...
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| Greetings Mistresss Violette | 3/5/2008 |
Q: My world went upside down few weeks ago when i was raped. Master has been very understanding and has ...
A: Rose, This is a serious thing that has happened to you. I wish I had a simple solution. There isn't ...
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| Confused and need advice | 3/5/2008 |
Q: I'm new at this very new at this. I've been having these feeling for a while now but I just ...
A: Isis, I'm sorry your friend reacted the way she did when you shared your interests with her. The ...
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| Personal Constraints with LD D/s | 2/26/2008 |
Q: A few months ago, I met a random person online through an adult chatting site. Him and I hit it off ...
A: D, Sometimes it helps to get the perspective of someone who's not closely involved in the ...
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| discipline needed, but wife doesn't understand need | 2/21/2008 |
Q: I work for myself and have difficulty with self motivation. I’ve asked my wife to become more ...
A: Rod, I can't promise a solution to your dilemma but maybe I can give you some things to think about ...
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| Questions regarding My submissive?? | 2/14/2008 |
Q: I have read a number of your answers here on this board. I must say you sound extremely knowledgable ...
A: Cynthia, Thank you for your confidence in my answers. I hope I can give you some insights that will ...
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| Femdom relationship | 2/5/2008 |
Q: I want to be a slave to my wife. How do I tell her without her freaking out? she knows i have a ...
A: Nel, First, so you know, you're not alone. In fact, the idea of slavery is attractive to many men. ...
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| need help | 2/2/2008 |
Q: actually i have not begun due to the fact that i am in need of someone who is experienced in ...
A: Louise, I believe this is actually going to be easier than you think, in one respect. :) Being ...
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| Long Distance Submission | 1/30/2008 |
Q: I met a beautiful man while he was in my country on business. He's back in his home country now, ...
A: Imogen, It sounds like you've found a good partner and a fulfilling relationship. I think it's ...
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| BDSM vs. Passion | 1/27/2008 |
Q: I have been involved with another man for 4 years. I used to be hardcore into BDSM but let that ...
A: Gunnar, You were wise and waited to explore BDSM with someone important to you. Now that you've ...
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| submitting to a Dom online | 1/27/2008 |
Q: i am relatively new to the D/s in general. i have been studying everything i can about the lifestyle ...
A: You're in a situation that is happening more and more as the Internet brings people in touch with ...
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| Relationship with a switch | 1/22/2008 |
Q: I am relatively new as a submissive. I have been with my current partner for almost a year now and ...
A: Catherine, Whenever I've been looking for a submissive I've been approached by more than a few men ...
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| Newly Domme | 1/22/2008 |
Q: I have always known that I've been far more submissive than dominant. From a young age I was ...
A: Paula, I'm happy to point you to some resources. I'd also like to talk a bit about some of the ...
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| Should i tell Master that i love him ?? | 1/18/2008 |
Q: I meet this great Guy on the net going to be one year next week. As the day passed we become closer ...
A: Claudia, You're in a not uncommon situation. Let me see if I can give you some perspective that ...
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| deception | 1/12/2008 |
Q: I recently deceived my Dominant, I let my emotional state control me. I confessed the deception ...
A: Lily, Sounds like there's some turmoil in your relationship right now. I hope I can give you some ...
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| am I sane | 1/11/2008 |
Q: I have been in a longdistance relationship now for 4 years and it dont seam like it will never ...
A: Tami, I'm glad you enjoy reading what I've written. I hope I'm going to write something especially ...
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| More info | 1/10/2008 |
Q: You stated in the email that you needed more information about the problem I have been having with ...
A: John, Thank you for providing more details. That was exactly what I needed to know. Considering ...
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| Everything in a mess | 1/3/2008 |
Q: I would be grateful to receive your opinion on my problem. I am a full time mature student at ...
A: You're very welcome! I'm glad to be of help. I worked in an office that provided employees with ...
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| Everything in a mess | 1/2/2008 |
Q: I would be grateful to receive your opinion on my problem. I am a full time mature student at ...
A: Don't worry about the length of your message. Details are very helpful. Using them, I hope I can ...
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| re: enquiry | 12/29/2007 |
Q: My name is Mike. I am a straight Dom living in London, England. I have been involved in BDSM ...
A: Mike, You didn't ramble on at all. The more information I have, the better my answer. I appreciate ...
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| SubSpace | 12/29/2007 |
Q: I really appreciate all of the knowledge you provide on this board and now I have a question, ...
A: Dee, What a nice compliment, thank you. :) It sounds like you've found a great guy who's willing ...
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| LD Punishments | 12/28/2007 |
Q: I'm a new Dom and in a long distance relationship with a submissive woman. She is not a slave but ...
A: Jeff, Since you're new to this I'm wondering if you mean play when you say punishments. If you have ...
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| collaring, naming, cerimony, dom | 12/27/2007 |
Q: My girlfriend(f&f)(1.5 yrs) wants me to collar her. I told her I will not until she is more ...
A: D, Not that it always has to, but usually being collared signifies a commitment. It doesn't seem ...
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| Introducing BDSM to my relationship | 12/16/2007 |
Q: I'm in a wonderfully loving vanilla relationship at the moment, full of commitment and respect, and ...
A: Sadie, I'm always delighted when someone says she's been doing some exploring on her own. That ...
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| I'M NEW TO THIS LEVEL OF INTERACTION AND NEED SOME INSIGHT | 12/13/2007 |
Q: MY NAME IS SINCLAIR AND BARE WITH ME BECAUSE I HAVE TO START FROM THE BEGINNING SO U CAN UNDERSTAND ...
A: Sinclair, The short answer to your question is yes. A dominant has a responsibility to see to the ...
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| Consideration collar and expectations | 12/10/2007 |
Q: I've been in the lifestyle for about 6 months now, so I'm still really "fresh." I met my Sir a ...
A: Cecilia, I'm willing to bet your dominant isn't looking for Pulitzer material. :) See if you can ...
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| My partner no longer wishes to dominate me | 12/8/2007 |
Q: Where to begin. I meet my partner thru D/s contacts. We dated D/s and established our relationship ...
A: Cara, For some people, interest in BDSM is genuine and intense but not permanent. I've known some ...
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| Sub partner no longer interested in BDSM | 12/3/2007 |
Q: About 14 months ago I was a vanilla guy who got involved with an active submissive. I had never ...
A: Jack, I see a couple of areas that concern me. It could be because I don't have all the ...
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| Sub partner no longer interested in BDSM | 12/2/2007 |
Q: About 14 months ago I was a vanilla guy who got involved with an active submissive. I had never ...
A: Jack, It's possible to have a happy, loving relationship and still do BDSM with other people. ...
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| what are the dynamics withing a bdsm play scene. | 11/26/2007 |
Q: My Master has given me the task of finding out what the dynamics within a play scene invloves. We do ...
A: Edith, What your dominant is describing is "power exchange," which is a fundamental element of ...
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| how to train a male slave into obeying me? | 11/23/2007 |
Q: I'm a girl and there is this guy and he said that the only way that he will sub for me is if I can ...
A: Courtney, I need to add a follow up to my previous answer. Please understand, this is purely ...
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| newly open for exploring the BDSM scene | 11/20/2007 |
Q: I have reently started to explore and or research some different aspects of the Dom/sub ...
A: Autumn, I think one of the best things anyone new to BDSM can do is research. Sometimes it takes ...
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| bdsm for beginners | 11/7/2007 |
Q: I am very interested in BDSM, but I am so unsure as to how to start. I have a very open boyfriend, ...
A: Christy, It looks to me like you've got a lot going for you, since you're very interested in BDSM ...
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| I want to be a slave | 11/4/2007 |
Q: I want to know how to become a slave to my boyfriend. I would like him to be my master, but don't ...
A: AL, The answer to your question is yes and no. It is possible to provide service to your boyfriend ...
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| Online D/s situation | 11/1/2007 |
Q: This subject may have been previously addressed. However, as a realtive new comer to Online/Long ...
A: In many ways a long distance relationship is similar to a face to face one. The main thing to ...
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| Dedication | 10/28/2007 |
Q: i have slipped and for some reason i cant get back up... my mistress says this is lack of ...
A: Milly, It's wonderful that your mistress is trying to help you improve your physical and emotional ...
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| Long term relationship in trouble - he wants BDSM | 10/19/2007 |
Q: I am really hoping that you can offer some advice to me since this is a topic that I cannot discuss ...
A: This is definitely a dilemma and I'm not going to sugarcoat my answer. You have some hard choices ...
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| My Master | 10/18/2007 |
Q: My master and I met on line, and have met one time in real life. My master is a female, she prefers ...
A: Kelly, It's great that you're able to identify the barriers you see. I commend you for that and for ...
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| bdsm in a relationship | 10/17/2007 |
Q: My boyfriend wants a mainly bdsm sex life which I'm ok with, even though it's new to me and i'm a ...
A: You're very welcome, Alana. It is a girl's dream, as long as you're comfortable with it. Here's a ...
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| bdsm in a relationship | 10/17/2007 |
Q: My boyfriend wants a mainly bdsm sex life which I'm ok with, even though it's new to me and i'm a ...
A: Alana, It sounds like the kind of relationship your boyfriend wants is one that's often called ...
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| how to talk to your Master.... | 10/15/2007 |
Q: i have so many questions, but the main one i have now is i don't know how to talk to my own Master. ...
A: Reagan, Do you think it might be time to stop and let some of what you've been reading just soak ...
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| starting out in a bdsm relationship | 10/12/2007 |
Q: I've recently become interested in the lifestyle from talking to a dom and his slave on the phone i ...
A: Emma, I think you're wise to wonder if getting your partner involved in BDSM is a good idea. My ...
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| Sub drop | 10/10/2007 |
Q: I recently had my first play scene and it was wonderful I have never ever felt something so ...
A: Julia, It certainly could be sub drop, which is just a convenient term for a normal reaction. ...
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| vanilla wife | 10/8/2007 |
Q: I have been married happily for 5 years and have two children. we are a very happy family. My ...
A: Mike, Just so you know, you're not alone. This happens to many people and in all types of ...
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| HOW | 10/8/2007 |
Q: I AM IN A VANILLA RELATIONSHIP WITH A SUB MAN AND WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW I COULD SHOW HIM HOW TO ...
A: Leigh, Thanks for clarifying. I think I have a little better idea now what you're looking for. I'm ...
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| Unusual, morbid fetish | 9/28/2007 |
Q: I have a somewhat unusual "fetish"(if that is the correct word?) that involves elaborate fantasies ...
A: Michelle, People have all sorts of fantasies and, yes, some of them are unusual and may be too much ...
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| Starting Out | 9/27/2007 |
Q: I find myself attracted to BDSM. I want to be a Dom, but have absolutely no idea where to start. I ...
A: Luisandra, You've asked some good questions. Let's take them one at a time. >>Does BDSM always ...
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| Safe words | 9/10/2007 |
Q: I want to play without a safe word. My domme is reluctant. What are your thoughts on safe words?
A: Colin, Once I was doing intense CBT on a submissive who was sitting on a high stool in front of me. ...
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| Online relationship | 9/8/2007 |
Q: I have constraints which does not allow me to have a rl BDSM life. The best I can think of is an ...
A: Maximillious, I think most of us would like to have a RL relationship but the reality is, sometimes ...
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| collaring | 9/7/2007 |
Q: I am new to bdsm but I am very turned on by it. I am with someone that is truly the man I want to be ...
A: CJ, Welcome to BDSM. I'm glad you found someone someone special to introduce you to it. :) As with ...
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| Understanding the relationship | 9/5/2007 |
Q: I am in a new bdsm relationship, my first true one. I am the submissive. I feel like I am in love ...
A: Cameron, You're more than half the way to dealing with this situation because of your own insight. ...
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| BDSM beside a relationship | 9/4/2007 |
Q: My girlfriend of ten months has gotten into BDSM. Not from actually doing any; she has just enjoyed ...
A: David, Your confusion is understandable. You've been hit with a confusing situation. It looks to me ...
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