Expert: awhitecloud - 4/24/2007

Question
I am a masochists that is starting to explore my sadists side of my lifestyle but I am a very heavy player so I am curious about how to proceed I have found a young woman to play with that is abou tin the middle as far is pain but I am looking more for the mental play. I would like very much to be able to get into this young womans head while playing I just try what my form sadists did to me but I am haivng problems with it because she does not respond well to the wanting to get ot know her better like my former sadists did with me it is more along the lines of flog me F*** me and dont talk to me afterwards not quite understanding the situation and another thing is that when I first met this young woman she seems very intent on pushing her limits but she will not or does not know how to communicate her desires I am just looking for a clue on how to practice on breaking her boundries down and getting into her head to figure out what she truly desires. any help would be greatly appreciated.

Answer
You need to talk with her, have her do a check list of things she has done and likes to do or does not like.  Then you will know where to push and where to not push. Have her write things to you on what she has enjoyed to date in play and things she has not.  Some times writing is a better form of communication.  some subs are truly afraid in talking of things in that nature.  You have to get her to open up and to talk with you or to write things out so that you can understand and see what is happening inside of her head.

Good luck

awhitecloud