Expert: arani_CsA - 12/10/2007

Question
I want some advice on how to approach someone I know who I think is a dom and I really want to be his sub.

Answer
Hello...

Thanks for coming to me with your question.  I hope I can help you find the answer you are looking for.

First of all, you need to be very careful about approaching someone about the lifestyle, when you don't know how they feel about it.  Privacy is a very big concern.  If he is not a Dominant, or even sympathetic to the lifestyle, he could be repulsed by your interests or make them public.  Unless you want everyone to know about your submissive tendencies, you need to be careful here.

When you are speaking to this man privately, mention movies or television shows that you have seen which have to do with the lifestyle.  There have been a couple of good ones, "The Secretary" is a good example.  "CSI" has had a few episodes dealing with S/m, and "Bones" had one recently about pony play.  Or bring up a "friend of yours" who told you that she liked being tied up, or something similar.  If he responds favorably, then ask him if he's ever been interested in that kind of thing.

Basically, you can do a lot of the same things you would do if you are interested in having any kind of relationship with this man.  Get to know him well, learn what he likes to eat and read as well as what kind of recreational activities he enjoys or what kind of lifestyle he prefers.  Learn if this is the kind of man you would feel safe with, because a submissive is quite literally placing her life in the hands of her Master.  When he has you tied up and under his control, he could do anything he wants to with you.

If you have not already done so, do a little research into the lifestyle.  Learn what kinds of activities you are interested in, and also what it is that draws you to be a submissive.  Some good sites for learning are:
http://www.castlerealm.com
http://www.leathernroses.com
http://www.steel-door.com/Chamber.html

Good luck to you.  If you have any further questions, feel free to bring them to me.  And please remember to leave feedback on my answer.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius