Expert: Suzanne Gerstner - 11/11/2009

Question
Dear Suzanne,
I have been a Baha'i for 13 years, coming from a Catholic Christian family, intending to marry a Muslim man. We have been doing the baha'i marriage preparedness questionnaire (I guess you know the tool) but I was hoping to find some books or just broader information or guidance in such cases, we would need advice on what topics are probable areas of disagreement (we can think of some, but perhaps other people have gone through that already and are more experienced)and any other advice on the topic. I don't expect you to give me all advice but perhaps you could give me some titles of bahai books on interfaith marriage (which I find difficult to find despite trying) so that I can order them and we could read them together (he is very respectful and open-minded) or perhaps you have any other idea how we could get more advice in order to make a thorougly thought over decision.
Kasia
P.S. In my country (which you'll recognise by the ending of my e-mail address) there are no Bahai-Muslim marriages.  

Answer
Dear Kasia,

Unfortunately, I'm not an expert on this subject.  You might want to call the Baha'i Book Service in your country and ask if any books exist on the subject of Baha'i interfaith marriages.  I don't know of any.  You could also check with your National Baha'i Centre and/or an Auxiliary Board Member.

As to probable areas of disagreement, I don't know that there are any.  I think it's really about how you both approach your Faith.  If your future husband is open-minded and is happy for you to be a Baha'i and attend Baha'i functions and raise your children as Baha'is (who of course also believe in Islam and Muhammad), and if you are respectful of Islam and his practice of it, then I imagine there will be no problem.  But if either one of you is disrespectful of the religion of the other and tries to dominate in any way, then you are proably headed for problems.

Anyway, just my thoughts.

All best wishes,

Suzanne