Expert: Jan Hayner - 3/21/2011

Question
I recently took on a new job where I am using my skills in a clinical setting.  I teach Tai Chi and have been using many of the ancillary techniques and exercises as an alternative/integrative therapy.  Things have been going well.  However, I have one issue I am hoping you might be able to offer some suggestions on.  Many of the people I am working closely with are, understandably, highly negative.  Some of them have things such as Borderline Personality Disorder.  Consequently I find that I am extremely drained after a short time with one person.  I am trying to avoid burn out and I am wondering if there are any techniques, methods, thoughts, etc., that I can use to shield myself from this negative energy.  I’d like to stay at this for a while but if I can’t shield myself somehow I don’t see this as a path I can sustain for long, which would be a shame.  I look forward to any suggestions you might have.  Thank you and have a great day.  

Al

Answer
Hi Al;
What a worthwhile cause although-it is draining! It is hard trying to sty positive for two people!The burn out rate must be something like 5 years in this type of situation.

Try this:
In order to stay 'positive' you have to surround yourself with positive. So, in between classes, clients and any other time that you have available--only allow positive things to happen. Set up a Facebook account with friends and family that know what you are going through and have a sense of humor-this way you can vent and get a humorous comeback without it being a negative.

Hang signs all over of the positive things in life-to remind yourself and your clients that things aren't always peachy, but everything is a learning experience. It will help them as well as you.

Each day, everyone has to tell you one thing positive that happened to them since you saw them last and gradually increase the number to 5 etc. Everyone has something positive even if it is only achieving getting the dishes done for that day.

Attacking the negative things in life as they happen-eliminates them! Have everyone tell you something that they attacked to make their life better (and include yourself in these experiments). It will help you stay more positive too.

Remind them that everyone can 'feel sorry for themselves' but they have to put it on the calendar (because they are too busy today) and plan for it so they can enjoy it more. Actually make them keep track of things on calendars--by the time the day comes to 'feel sorry' the problem will be gone and they will see that they worried for nothing.

Up and Down feelings and emotions are hard to contend with, but by focusing on 'positive' the ups and downs may not go away, but they won't be as severe--which is an improvement.

Set goals to achieve with people having something as a bonus when they achieve them. Everyone works harder when they get a reward.

I hope this gave you some ideas to think about and build on.

Good Luck and pat yourself on the back for caring so much--see! you just made a positive, wasn't that easy?
Jan Hayner