Balancing Career and Family/Re: childcare problems


Hi Jan,
First thanks for spending the time to read my inquiry. I do appreciate your time.
My dilemma is i have a 3 yo son and we have been unlucky in finding the right care for him.
Prior to our crisis, my parents were helping us care for my son. They helped us right when he was
born up to early this year. Since then, we have had 2 daycares and one nanny for him. The first one didn't work out because she had the lame excuse that my son may not progress since he is around infants for the most part. I had to pull him out since i don't want him to go to a place where he is not wanted. He was then transferred to a bigger daycare and he only lasted a month. He would cry everyday after we drop him off and he had a bad allergic reaction while at that daycare. It was very scary for me since i never really thought about cross contamination esp for my son who has allergies to milk and nuts. Most of the preschools are nut free but not dairy free which is a big concern for me since he is severely allergic to milk. So after this incident, we decided to hire a nanny who was a family friend. She was ok but was not very child friendly. We had to let her go after 2 months. Currently my sister is helping me with my son. She stayed with us for a month then now has gone back to canada. We decided to leave my son there (we live in the bay area) while we see our options. He is happy there since he has playmates and my parents-in-laws also live nearby (wa state).
We miss him terribly and we know this is just a temporary solution.
I have gone back to scouting for the right preschool and so far has been unlucky. Either the ones we liked are overlypriced ($1400+) or they only have certain days available.
My question is:
1. One preschool within our budget has 3 days available but i still need to find care for him for 2 days. Either i hire a nanny or i reduce my hours at work to 3 days. The only con to working part time is we will have a tight budget just enough for bills and food but no comfort money nor extra cash for emergencies.
2. Enroll him at an expensive preschool which is saving us only $300/mo as oppose to working part time
3. Let him stay with family for a few months. We would probably spend money flying up north to visit him. I am also compensating my sis for helping out. (Same budget for the affordable preschool)
My parents are coming back early next year so they can start watching him again. The only con is they will stay in canada to help with my sis so that means my son would need to be up there with them.
We miss him so much and i have always wanted to spend more time with him if only budget allows. I actually worked pt early this year when i transitioned him from home to a daycare setting. I loved the time i spent with him. It was precious. We are also trying to pay down bills so i can be a stay home mom when we have another baby so if i reduce my hours at work, we won't be able to do that.
Can you please enlighten me or give me your take on this?
Thanks so much.

Hi Paris;

I am going to give you my personal opinion and what I would do. There isn't any right or wrong solution, it is what works best for you and your child.

I don't believe in long distance parenting, a week or two with someone else that they are close to is fine, but o one does things as well as mom and dad. So, with that in mind, this is what I would do.

I would contact a church and see if they have parents that babysit in their home or have someone that would be willing to come to your home. This way you already have someone that is 'parent' oriented and knows what a child should learn and is aware of allergies and will follow your wishes. If that doesn't work, some churchs have daycares for kids that are small and are very good at following what you want them to do. I did this with two of my kids and never regretted it. I could go to work and feel totally happy with a happy kid when I went to pick them up and one that looked forward to going. ( they always had a 'make mom happy' time and the kids would draw pictures for the refrigerator. :)

Another great place to look is the Senior Centers. There are plenty people that go there for something to do. Some would gladly make a few dollars to help them along each month. The amount of patience they have is great and they cherish the smiles on a childs face. Kids and seniors are a pair that can't be beat!

Another place is to go to a local girls scout troop. Not for the girls but the mothers. If they care enough to get their own children involved, they have the patience for your child too. There may be some moms that would like to have a little extra money and are sick of the empty nest thing now that their kids go to school.

I hope these ideas help you out and give you some ideas of your own. Good Luck!!!! :)
Jan Hayner

Balancing Career and Family

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Jan Hayner


I can give you all of the shortcuts needed to help you relieve the stress of taking care of a home, family,cleaning,time management,and all of the stress builders in your life. I have been balancing a family and an outside job for over 30 years and loving every minute of it.


I am a Professional Organizer (9 years), a mother of 4 and grandma of 8, I have worked either out in the workplace or running my own business for over 35 years and have volunteered in different areas too.

Faithful Organizers, past member of NAPO (National Association of Professional Organizers,past Den Mother, Bluebird Leader, Member of Money Smart, WIM (Women in Management,and past member of Chamber of Commerce.

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