Expert: Dianne M. Buxton - 5/13/2010

Question
My daughter has been taking tap, hip hop, jazz, and ballet since first grade. She is now wanting to quit dance entirely because she feels like she is falling behind other girls her age as they move on to higher level classes and pointe and she is not quite ready to advance. After next year, her instrctors say she should be ready for pointe, which she has aspired to since she was very young. They give her lots of encouragement but it seems to fall on deaf ears. She did not enjoy dance this past year because she felt inferior to many of her friends who had been moved to higher classes. It is breaking my heart that she wants to quit as she used to love it so much. I can't seem to make her understand that she is a good dancer, she is just moving at a little bit slower pace than some of the other girls. I tell her she needs to get stronger and work hard and she will get there. How can I keep her head in the game? I feel sure she will regret her decision down the road. Thanks.

Answer
Hi Kandice.

I think it is up to your daughter's teachers to give her some strategic guidance in extra exercises for the strength she lacks. Whether it is core muscles, extension, or foot muscles, there are very targeted regimens for improving muscle weakness, not just repeating ballet class exercises. Maybe it is nutrition related as well. A chiropractor or physical therapist could give her some instruction on strengthening muscles, and The Perfect Pointe Book gives exercises to strengthen posture and balance. If this possibly inspires her, have her look at the blog,

http://www.balletshoesandpointeshoes.blogspot.com/

I have posted links to several expert books on different aspects of ballet that may give her some goals that seem achievable....

Not everyone is physically equipped to advance in ballet - maybe your daughter has decided to move on? It is a real pity that she has had to compare herself with others, but sadly that comes with the ballet world.

If she feels inferior in other areas of life perhaps that's more the issue. But if not, then it's just a ballet thing - and not uncommon.

I hope her outlook eventually sees new horizons, whatever she does.

All the best, Dianne