Expert: David Lynch - 1/16/2009

Question
Hi! I love to dance, and I like to videotape myself when I dance. My mom says that I'm a good dancer. (I like to dance to pop--Britney Spears.) When I watch myself dance, I always look so lanky, especially my arms (even though I don't move them about very much). I'm skinny (athletic skinny) and tall (about 5'10"). How can I control my movements to were I don't look like I'm being thrown about the room?

Answer
Tanner:

I apologise for the delay- the central pc did not tell me you had sent a Q until i was answering another Q and notice you were pending.  

I need more info  for the best answer: i do not know what part of the world you are in, big city or small,  and what kind of dance you love, how you dance,  and i have no video to see, i do not know your age,your sex,   so my answer has to be very general, and vague.
i will try to give you a fair short 10 point  honest answer.  

1.
Mom is always kind and loving but do others who have seen you say you are lanky? perhaps it is mostly in your own mind, a persistent self doubt or fear? A general improvement in inner confidence may help. also,  long sleeves, sweaters, shirts, blouses, hide things right?

2. Friends, peers, may not also be fair in their comments. Your own feeling is more important.  

3. Hanging, dangling arms seem to be more noticeable and lanky looking, I suggest you improve your arm movement to distract others  eyes from your arms. keep adding new arm moves, if your arms are a blur, they will seem unlanky. Turn a handicap into a strength?

4. If you were a teen you will be lanky and seeming to be awkward, I know I sure was  dorky, from 13-22 years.

5. Find a mentor or teacher to show you new moves.
keep watching videos, and tv and movies and learn how others have solved this type of problems.

6. actually tall lanky people can be great dancers. watch fred astaire movies from the 1930s and 1940s. Juliet Prowse, Ann Margaret,  in the 60s and 70s, see russian ballet dancers Baryshnikov,  Rudolph Nureyev, even Elvis Presley, I have met them all and they are all tall, lanky, skinny, but great dancers.

7. try learning new skills: ballet, yoga, ballroom, folk dancing, martial arts.  I  learned years of karate, kung fu, kempo, tai chi, aikido and they all helpled me to look and feel  smooth in dance.

8. bulk up, work out lift weights, get into other sports to make your arms more attractive, more buff, less boney, more strong muscle. Go for more walks, jogs, biking, skating, roller blading,  

9. Find other friends with the same image problem, male or female, and discuss solutions that work for you. true friends or pets are not cruel they are accepting, loving unconditionally.  Does your pet dog care?

10. Remember in the long run  others will not care -they have their own issues to deal with, and if others criticise you you do not want them as friends anyway. Do some charity -loving -kindness- volunteer work. A small child, a senior citizen a starving person will not care about your image problems, they will just be happy that you care for them.  

I think this may help. print it out and put in on the wall in front of your wall- look up now- yes thats it- that is a good place there.
re read it and try some of the suggestions.

 Your kindly old Uncle Dave loves you, Tanner,  and you will be just fine.
Dave

davidlynch99@hotmail.com