Expert: Elder Greg Madden - 10/30/2008

Question
QUESTION:   I read with interest your comments to Josh re: what constitutes marriage.  Could you please apply the question to widowed/widowered Christian adults who would like to commit to one another but avoid problems for their heirs in the future secondary to "laws".  Thanks.

ANSWER: Patricia,

Thank you for your interesting question. However, I am not sure exactly what you are asking. Are you referring to the inheritance they would leave to their children/heirs they may have had before they marry? Or...?

Please write back and let me know.

Thanks,
Elder Greg Madden

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Elder Madden, You seem to understand. We have adult by our first marraiges. We are senior citizens,(75). Both enjoyed happy, faithful marraiges.  To "legally" marry now would create issues which might affect our retirement incomes and our heirs. We are prayerfully concerned as we do not wish to sin but long for committed companionship for these last years of our lives. Thank you for your thoughts.


Answer
Patricia,

Sorry for the delay of my reply.

I do have another question. You said that you both "...long for committed companionship for these last years of our lives." By this do you mean physical intimacy or simply to be closer as companions?

If both of you only wish to be closer as companions, then I wouldn't worry about marriage and just be close friends.

However, if you both desire physical relationships, then I believe you know in your heart that the Bible commands such relationships only within the bonds of marriage.

If this is the case, then I would first make this a matter of pray between you and your "friend". Seek the guidance of the Lord, and His wisdom in these matters. Secondly, speak with your children and share with them you desire. Let them know that things may change finically, but that you both love each other and will do the best you can to ensure the inheritance. Finally, before you get married, I would speak with a CPA and make arrangements that would help protect your retirements.

Ms Patricia, I cannot give you any Biblical advice in this matter except to say that if you both desire to have a physical relationship that marriage is required. And if this the case, and you both desire to wed, then I would not allow financial situation keep you from doing so. Life is too short to not enjoy it with someone you love.

Hope this helps,

Elder Greg Madden