Expert: D.David - 11/15/2008

Question
hi
This is a hard one i think. My partner and i have been together for 6 years. When we met we i had a son from a past relationship who he treats as his own praise God as this was something that i had prayed about. We then had 2 little girls who in ages are 2 and 1. our son is 9.
This is our problem. for a long time we lived in sin, and for the past 5 months we have lived apart as i could no longer do it. We have always wanted to be married but we let worldly things get in our way.
Liveing apart has been hard for many resons, we love one another and also our babys! they miss there daddy!
We wnt to a church near us and told them our problem and then asked if they would marry us. they said yes no problem how soon did we want to do it! we had the rings and said that we would do it now if we could. it was then explained to us that we needed to go the town hall to give notice then come back to them. We were so happy! we did as they asked and tryed to see and call them for 2 months! no joy! they was going to marry another copple aborde and was unable to help. so then when they got back we tryed to contact them again with not much joy. till they called us once and tryed to make a meeting. i was haveing a mad day and was feeling down as the strain of looking after the kids alone was staring to burn me also missing the man i see as my husband.to cut a long story short we i then spoke to them 3 weeks ago and they ased if we was able to waite another 6 months so we could have classes to make sure it was right in Gods eyes. witch i dont think is wholely wrong but i also feel that we was decived as we were told in the begining to sort out our notice and then they would do it.
i have expained to them that we could not waite 6 months as the kids, us and everything is geting to muych to bear... we need advice as when i explained this we were advised to marry in a regestry office as the pastor did not want to rush into it as he was worrying about the high no of devorce in christian marriges! now i am not saying that may not be true but i know what god showed me and he knows what god gave him. i knew him befor i had my son.. he was the only boy that respectd me and never tryed it on. he had always liked me but NEVER disrespected me. A gent a family man just what i had asked for from God. After i had my son and found god in a new light i prayed for a man that would love us as his own family and he did and dose till this day. our problem is that now they want us to marry in a regestry office and i find this hard to do a in the office you cant even mention God at all! i cant do that!! that would be wrong i think. we wanted to have a small wedding with 10 or 15 people and have a larger one next year. we are thinking about a old style no legal one that is seen in gods eyes. I love God and Jesus and want to do the right thing by them and i know that it may be late but we are trying. But we also have our kids to think about.
can you advise us on what to do?
in my heart i feel a non legal wedding would be fine as in our hearts i already see eachother as husband and wife, but i dont want to marry in a office as i dont think its right to be in a place takeing vows in a place where God is not welcome. We belive in legal marraige as God says to keep the laws of the land s thats why we want to legalise it next year march, but keeping rent on 2 homes is too much. my partner dose soooooooo much overtime so he can pay his rent and help me with the kids and bills. he is kind of burnt out. as am i.God says its better to marry than to burn. and i feel like we are burning. when all we want to do is marry in Gods blessing
I pray for the wisdom of God the farther alone
God bless xx

Answer
Dear Charlotte

I am amazed at the situation that you are in and would like God's special Blessing and presence to be with you. I would like to share a few suggestion in the Light and Spirit of God.

1. Pray earnestly before you make any decisions. Wait upon the Lord and He will renew your Strength, it is in waiting upon the Lord, that we receive His instructions.(Isaiah. 43:1-3)

2. Whatever your past. Commit your life to Him now. Not because of your situations but because He wants your attention to give you a sense of direction in your Christian journey.(Jer.29:11)

3. You and your Partner should pray together as often as possible, if possible attend a Bible Class or ask a Pastor to visit your family at home on a regular basis.(is.41:10)

4. Once you have given your life to Jesus, hear His instructions, try listening to His voice and not your own desires. He is the Potter we are the Clay. Lay your plans in His presence, ask Him to guidance and strength you as you venture forward.(Is.55:6-9)

5. Give to Ceaser what belong to Him and to God what belong to God. We need to follow certain instruction of the land to make our decision recognized and respected. All marriages have a legal document, for it be recognized as one. It could be possible for you to invite a Pastor in the Council Hall and Offer a prayer during your procedure or have a small church gathering outside the hall to bless your ceremony. As I said, pray about it. You have gone far in life, you need Jesus to be with you every moment so that He will guide you and make the right decision.

These are a few suggestions, God bless you and will pray for you and your family.