Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 12/28/2008

Question
Thank you for your time sir. I am faced with a huge and very heavy issue in my heart. I am 41 years old and left my wife 2nd of 7 years almost two years ago. At her request I delayed filing the divorce as she had some immigration issues to resolve. She got them fixed earlier this year but on May 4th of this year I got saved. My first wife has since remarried. I attend a baptist church and the pastor and another pastor I talked to at a men's retreat counseled me heavily not to file. To try and reconcile. I told her I was not going to file and she said she was going to. I did attempt reconciliation but she has made it clear she does not want me and wants the divorce. She is not saved and has been very critical of my faith. She has now said that she will not file and is telling me to. She was told that as a christian, I can not file and if I do, I would be inelligible to remarry. She is now trying to hurt me by holding this over me. There is a woman that has come into my life whom I would like the opportunity to have a relationship with and possibly marry in the future. I have been counselede that 1 Corinthians 7:15 commands me to let her go and that my filing the divorce would still be scriturally sound as I can not let her go if we remain married. I was told that even if I file in these circumstances, I would be elligible to remarry. Sir, can you give me your interpretation please. Thank you very much.

Answer
Hi Randy,

Thanks for this great question.

1 Corinthians 7:13-15
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.  
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

Paul gives us two things to consider here.  First of all, if an unbeliever wishes to stay in a marriage, we are not to end it even though once we are saved, we are not equally yoked.  Who knows if one day the believer will win the unbeliever to Christ.  If the unbeliever leaves, or wants to leave, the believer is not under bondage.  I agree with the counsel you have been given.  It does not matter who initiates the paperwork, but who wants to end the marriage, and that is her.  I think you are ok to follow that advice.  I hope that this helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don