Expert: Dr. Ronald E. Shultz - 2/23/2008

Question
what's the stand on inter-faith marriages amongst the independent baptist church and how does it differ from the stance taken by the southern baptist churches

Answer
I would say that most leaders of any group warn against marrying outside of the respective faith.  I just recently had a fellow ask me to perform his wedding. He was Catholic and the bride was some sort of Baptist.  I said, "The priest won't marry you, right?"  He replied, "Yes" and I said, "Neither will I, for it is not an equal yoke." Yes, normally an unequal yoke is between that of a believer and a non-believer but belief is also involved with the various sects of Christianity.

Nonetheless, it doesn't matter what the Baptists of any flavor or any other group's stand is we must see how the Word of God stands on the issue.

Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed? KJV

Truth is truth and there can only be one truth.  If you know the Word and are convinced that what you believe is the truth how can you form any kind of union with someone who holds to what you believe to be a lie or error? Lot tried that and it vexed his righteous soul and led to disaster in his family.  He lost a wife and some children as well as ending up drunk with his daughters seducing him.  I have seen similar issues with inter-faith, inter-denominational marriages.

Where will you go to church?  What doctrines will you teach your children?  How can you be one when you are divided on core issues?  How will you feel if your children abandon any faith because they feel like it doesn't matter since Mom is a born-again believer baptized by immersion eternal securist believing in only Heaven and Hell and Dad is a born Catholic, "baptized" by pouring as a baby, never sure of salvation but may spend millennia in Purgatory.  Maybe Dad is non-charismatic believing that women should not be pastors while Mom runs around speaking in tongues and casting out demons calling herself Pastor Sylvia of Babbling Heart Fellowship.  

It is confusion and that is not of God.  (1 Cor 14:34) That confusion might well cause and has caused kids to just dump the whole church thing and become agnostics or atheists.  Others end up in cults.  That can happen with parents of the same faith but the risk intensifies when they are of different denominations.

That is just in Christianity,  Should a Christian marry a Hebrew, Islamic, Buddhist, etc?  Never, for there is nothing in agreement there.  Even though I love the Jews and at least morally and historically we have a lot in common the faiths diverge with Christ and therefore a Christian and Jew cannot walk together in a marriage union. Even if the Christian guy is circumcised most Rabbis would not condone the union.  

2 John 9-11

9 Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son.

10 If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed:

11 For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds.
KJV

If I cannot even bid a person at my door that does not have the true doctrine of Christ "God speed" or "Goodbye" (God be with you,)I can in no way marry such a person.  Any one that does so is indirect violation of the Word of God and their marriage is a sin.

False doctrine is of the devil.  You don't marry or hang out with folks that hold false doctrine.

2 Cor 6:14-18

14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,

18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty. KJV

It doesn't get any clearer than that.  

Ex 34:12-16

12 Take heed to thyself, lest thou make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land whither thou goest, lest it be for a snare in the midst of thee:

13 But ye shall destroy their altars, break their images, and cut down their groves:

14 For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:

15 Lest thou make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land, and they go a whoring after their gods, and do sacrifice unto their gods, and one call thee, and thou eat of his sacrifice;

16 And thou take of their daughters unto thy sons, and their daughters go a whoring after their gods, and make thy sons go a whoring after their gods. KJV

God doesn't change and neither have the dangers of marrying outside of the faith. There is no reason to "missionary" date. In most cases, it destroys the life of the believer rather than convert the heathen.  More than one girl has "won" her boy to Christ and he attends church until they are married and then he quits and nags her to do the same. Guys also have married a girl they "led to the Lord" only to come home and find her in bed with another man or gone off with one. The reason? Being a Christian made him boring so she was off to live her life.

A few years ago, a very attractive lady in her fifties fell into this same trap.  She met a man at work and witnessed to him and he professed salvation.  They married.  Two years later they were divorced as he lost all interest in God when he got his lust interest to marry him.

Some that do this may be saved but immature or biblically illiterate and that is where the pastor comes in to try and prevent the disaster. However, most that marry outside of their faith or sect normally do so because they have no true faith of their own.  They are whatever they are by birth or culture but not by true conviction or they could not sacrifice those convictions no matter how alluring the man or woman might be.  In many cases, the "Christian" is not saved.  In those cases, the issue is moot for you have two unbelievers marrying so technically it doesn't matter as they both have the same spiritual father.  

I was raised up intermittently in a Methodist church and even sang in the choir. My wife was a Lutheran yet both of us were lost and did not have a clue about either one of our faiths.  I never heard of Wesley and his teaching nor did my wife know who Martin Luther was or heard sola fide, sola scriptura.  If you would have asked, we would have said we were Christians and yet we were so ignorant that we did not notice that the USAF Chapel made a mistake until we got my daughter's baptism certificate saying she had been baptized in the holy rites of the Holy Roman Catholic church.  We then had her baptized as a Methodist.  She was saved later and biblically immersed as a believer so if baptism, as some teach, had anything to do with salvation her seat in Heaven would be right near Peter or Paul.  

From my experience,this is the usual state of affairs in modern America.  When I spoke to one lady who said she was Lutheran I asked her if she believed in what Matin Luther taught about only by faith, only by scripture, she raised an eyebrow and said,"Martin Luther King?"  A Methodist didn't know his church was a member of the NCC and WCC or that those organizations were reputed and I believe proved to support Commnist guerillas in Central America during the 70s.  The list could go on.  So, it is hard to expect people who have no clue about their faith or are unsaved to understand why they should not marry outside of their denomination or faith.

Hopefully, I have answered your question sufficiently.  May God grant you great wisdom as you study His Word.