Expert: Dr. (Rev.) Miles Bateman, USAF (retired) - 4/6/2008

Question

ill make it short, over the past 10 months ive felt a serious disconnect from the lord.  i think i became a christian 5 years ago. i felt an undeniable draw and asked him to come into my heart.  however 10 months ago i believe i heard the spirit tell me to change my major of studies at an inconvenient time.  I felt convicted that he was speaking to me on this but wasn't entirely sure.  Anyways as the summer went on i kept saying no to this insistant small voice until i told him i wasnt sure if i trusted him in that. at that time i felt almost a departing feeling.  Since that time my desires to serve him, share, and pray are there but they all seem hindered and fleeting.  I ask to be saved often in fear that He has cast me off forever.  What do you think happend. am i beyond retreival.  have you ever heard of this before?  can God take away His fellowship for a time?  I feel like god has answered some prayer in this time and has brought a very godly woman into my life but things like strong conviction over sin and feeling his tuggings has left me. also all my emotions and affections are gone. i feel depressed often due to my constant striving to get back to him. what do i do??

Answer
Hi Paul! After reading your question I feel compelled to tell you that there is only one unforgivable sin, blasphemy against the Holy Spirit and from what you wrote, you have not committed that act. What you did do would be considered disobedience to that still small voice (the Holy Spirit) that you heard directing you. Although disobedience will separate you from God (as the Israelites experienced often when they were disobedient) God will forgive you, as he did the Israelites. The lesson I would take from this is that if you hear that voice again-obey it. Here are some things that you can do to be pro-active about reconnecting with the Holy Spirit, I will warn you, they are not easy and will require alot of time and effort on your part.
1. Pray, diligently and fervently.  God tells us that he inhabits the prayers of his children. Prayerfully ask for God's forgiveness.
2. Activate your prayer chain/support system and get some prayer "warriors" praying on your behalf, scripture tells us that the prayers of the righteous availeth much. I will be happy to add you to my prayerlist for starters!
3. Get into God's word, seek out instances where others have experienced what you are going thru. One that comes to mind is God's servant Job. That would be a great place to start, by reviewing the Book of Job, study his situation and contrast it with your own.
4. Fast. Fasting is one of the most overlooked tools to help access the spiritual side of your being. When you fast, do so with purpose and intent, make sure that you are not harming your physical body (which is a Temple of the Holy Spirit) and do so humbly and contritely.
5. Praise God for the good things he has granted you! You mentioned a Godly woman who has come into your life, that is a great blessing in itself and one which can be the jumping off point for the recognizing other blessings that Father God has given you.

Finally, I would tell you to take heart, you are not alone. At some point almost all Christians experience what you are going thru, the biggest mistake that you can make is to let this become a permanent barrier between you and God. Jesus himself cried out on the cross "Father, Why hast thou forsaken me?". Imagine what would have happened if he would have allowed his feelings of abandonment to influence his relationship with God and interfere with his completion of his mission? If Jesus could feel that way, then so can you and I. Jesus did not abandon his faith, he completed his mission and so should you.
You sinned (as we all have), now go forward and sin no more. God loves you and he forgives you.

Keep the Faith! Miles